Misfit's Reviews > Vow of Seduction

Vow of Seduction by Angela Johnson
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Adj. 1. ungulated - having or resembling hoofs; "horses and other hoofed animals"

Lol! When I spotted this word in a very weird sex scene I assumed it was merely a bad typo - until I looked up the meaning. Clearly my limited imagination was not grasping everything the author was trying to convey. Probably just as well it went over my head :p

Sir Alex de Beaumont has pledged to go on crusade with Edward Longshanks (soon to be Edward I), but he fears telling his new bride and slips out quietly after consummating the union. He disappears and is believed dead, but returns just as Lady Katherine (Kat) is preparing to wed again. Kat not being your typical meek and well-behaved Medieval Miss she declares her husband to be a "treacherous bastard" among other names and denies her husband her bed (why the King and the priests didn't insist she be an obedient wife and submit to her husband.....). Alex is part alpha male and part wimp and pleads with Kat to allow him the chance to regain her trust - but if he can't he'll go to the Pope and get an annulment (how on earth he thinks he'll get that when even Kings had a hard time getting one of those I'll never know....).

There's also a mystery surrounding the attack on Alex and his imprisonment, and the threats on his life continue upon his return to court and include a couple of baddies referred to as Scarface and One Eye (how original). Of course Kat gets involved despite Alex's efforts to keep her in the dark and just like any other well bred medieval noblewoman she can pull the dagger from her boot and throw it with daring precision as well as being able to tumble the bad guy over her shoulder, rides astride like a man (at court, no less while attending on the Queen) leap tall buildings with a single bound.....

Ok, so I'm joking about the last bit but you get the idea. This is a silly, silly plot filled with holes, very bad sex scenes in minute excruciating detail (although some are so OTT they're laugh out loud funny at times), along with a heavy-handed use of words in an effort to make it all sound authentic - "prithee", "forsooth", "verily" "aright" and others (at least there wasn't a bunch of "woe is me"). Whew. I lost count at how many times Alex "snarled" and "growled", and we're not even going to get into the over use of the word honey. Worse yet was the repetitiveness in the writing - I pretty much got it the first time or two around that Kat was afraid of admitting her love and being hurt again as well as Alex keeping his big secret from Kat to *protect her*. I did not need to have it drummed into my head over and over and over and over again.

In the end, it's a terribly silly fluffy wall-paper romance in a make believe historical setting that's really only there for the purpose of filling it with OTT sex scenes which includes lots of oral sex (I could swear that would have been considered a sin and they should have been running for the nearest priest to confess but what do I know?). If that’s what you like in a book, this might be the one for you. Otherwise, I'd skip this. Wish I had.
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Reading Progress

11/13/2009 page 112
36.13% "OMG, I thought "nether lips" went out in the 80's at the latest."
11/14/2009 page 164
52.9% "Eeww. She denies him the ultimate prize so he jacks off right in front of her. I did not need all the finer details either."
11/14/2009 page 177
57.1% "Oh dear. Provoked or not, what well-bred 13C noblewoman would knee another lady in the back and knock her off her horse?" 3 comments
06/10/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 51-74 of 74) (74 new)

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message 51: by Barb (new)

Barb Harriet's never met a book that didn't deserve four or five stars.


message 52: by Misfit (last edited Nov 16, 2009 07:36AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Misfit In her entire career on Amazon she's given exactly three two star reviews. Three. Can you imagine how bad a book must be to get three stars from her? And how embarrassing for the author to get that distinction.

Heh, my review did make it onto Amazon this morning. Should be fun watching the negative votes fly :p


message 53: by Hannah (new)

Hannah Misfit wrote: "In her entire career on Amazon she's given exactly three two star reviews. Three. Can you imagine how bad a book must be to get three stars from her? And how embarrassing for the author to get that..."

That would be traumatic! What DO you have to write in order to garner 2 stars from Harriet? Have you, by chance, read one of her 2-star books?




Misfit No and I don't intend to. One of my Amazon friends read one a few months ago and she said it was pretty darn dreadful. I'll have to find the link where you can sort a reviewer's reviews by things like star rating and you can see how many two and three's she's given out. not very many....


message 55: by Tara (new)

Tara Chevrestt Oh I would like to see what she would give Woman Who Would Be Pharaoh..


Misfit Tara wrote: "Oh I would like to see what she would give Woman Who Would Be Pharaoh.. "

We could write our own version of it....


message 57: by Barb (new)

Barb That sounds like fun, you'll need to look at the dust jacket or the back cover since she pretty much copies what they say...


message 58: by Chrissie (new)

Chrissie You guys, this running dialog keeps me laughing! Hej, laughter is good :0)


Susanna - Censored by GoodReads Well, she gave 3 stars to a couple of Cassie Edwards' plagiarized injun lurve epics. I think that says it all.

(Alas, I can't recall if she gave 3 stars to the one where she plagiarized a magazine article about ferrets or not!)


Misfit I wonder how long we can keep this going before someone tells us to take it to Facebook? Ha.

I wish I could find that old Harriet review where a few commenters tried to make the longest Harrietish genre name they could, i.e. classic, vampire-police-procedural-urban-noir-fantasy


message 61: by Claire (new)

Claire I love the comments,they add a lot to the reviews.To repeat the point ad infinitum
people are allowed to have different tastes in a book and freely express their opinion.The variety of opinions help you make a decision on whether to spend your money or not. When i was new on Amazon (in the mists of the past) i fell for a lot of four and five star reviews and bought a lot of books I did not like. I have since learnt to discriminate. Never consider harriet or "a customer' for starters and check out what books the reviewer likes.


message 62: by Chrissie (new)

Chrissie Claire, I have found that Kirkus is the most "demanding" of the critics. Library Journal is good and sometimes Publisher's Weekly. Amazon will only take the most complimentary line from a Kirkus review - you have to read all of it! B&N provides these reviews free of cos, while a Kirkus subscription is expensive. You have to read very, very carefully the Kirkus text, and sometimes I do not agree at all. I have read Kirkus reviews quickly and then purchased a book, read it and thought WHAT, did they really say it was OK? Then I have read the review again and recognized that I didn't pay attention. What I din't like was mentioned too.


message 63: by Tara (new)

Tara Chevrestt Claire wrote: "I love the comments,they add a lot to the reviews.To repeat the point ad infinitum
people are allowed to have different tastes in a book and freely express their opinion.The variety of opinions hel..."


I have had to start doing the same. Now before I add a book to my wish list, I check out all the 5 star reviewers and make sure it is not the only bloody review they have ever posted.. Also if I see the word "vine member" (no offense intended to you vine members..you know the kind I'm talking about here.)and nothing but 5 star reviews on their profile, well I don't take them seriously. One time I was reading reviews for The Devil's Queen and this one gal gave the book 2 stars and someone left a comment saying "oh this was a seriously boring book." The same person gave the book four stars.. I asked her why. She said "just cause I didn't like it, doesn't mean someone else won't.." OH BS! Somebody left a comment on a two star review of mine.. for Hearts of Horses.. said I was gutsy for giving it such a low rating.. said she gave it four simply cause people don't react well to negative reviews.. Who are these people trying to impress? Whose ass are they kissing? Seriously. I have wasted so much money thanks to people's fake reviews. Now I investigate for twenty min before a book hits my list.. tho sometimes I want to read it anyway..


message 64: by Claire (new)

Claire my worst experience was pillars of the earth.The number of 5 star reviews was amazing. I HATED the book and wondered if I ws reading the same book.I have become a lot more careful.Its not a crime to dislike a book and say so,if you write a coherent and intelligent review I will still consider buying the book but as Tara says I do a lot more research and if my respected reviewers say rubbish I think twice.A perfect example is a review on Amazon uk about one of Sandra Worths book,because the reviewer gave good reasons I have not bought and seeing the fuss misfit had I think that was a good choice.


message 65: by Chrissie (new)

Chrissie Also, what I like about GR is that although all my friends are simply cyperfriends, I have come to know who tends to like the books I like. You see it partially in the books they choose to read. At the same time none of us have exactly the same reading choices. I will think - yes I usually like x's books, but she likes feminist or romantic writing more/less than me, or that person likes mystery and crime too, another likes science fiction or books on food which do not appeal to me. Since I have come to know these traits I can choose which of their books I want to read. Our opinions, although similar, are never are the same. Also, since our opinions do vary, I have tried new genre - sometimes I am happy and sometimes not! The concept behind GR is good, but as it has grown larger you have to be more and more discerning.


Misfit Claire wrote: "my worst experience was pillars of the earth.The number of 5 star reviews was amazing. I HATED the book and wondered if I ws reading the same book.I have become a lot more careful.Its not a crime t..."

Oh, I had the same experience although it was one of my regular Amazon reviewers who recommended it so highly. Pillars is my prime example of looking at the one and two stars as well as all the glowing ones. If I had, I might have thought twice and saved all that time.

What a lively discussion to wake up to :)

I know what Tara means about Vine reviewers (even though I am one). Many of them gush over everything and I'm sure they don't all read the book - I've seen some with a real Harriet feel to them. You should see the Vine discussion forums. It's pretty nasty there.

I hear several years ago Amazon had a software glitch and people's real names were exposed. Apparently several author ended up with major egg in their faces.


message 67: by Tara (new)

Tara Chevrestt My worst experience is Woman Who Would Be Pharoah.. There was nothing but 5 star reviews for that book and I spend 18 bucks on it. I should have just taken 18 bucks, stuck it in the toilet, crapped on it, and flushed it!

Another major dud was Locke 1928. Rave reviews.. After reading half the book, I was like What???? and gave it two stars and found all the reviews were fake. Somebody accused me of just typing in the summary for my review.. Well in a way I did. There was absolutely nothing more to the story! Nothing but what the summary said. LOL


message 68: by Lance (new)

Lance Greenfield The trail of comments on Kellie's amazon review of The White Queen makes great reading.
Isn't "Nancy Drew" an awful person?!


Misfit Lance wrote: "The trail of comments on Kellie's amazon review of The White Queen makes great reading.
Isn't "Nancy Drew" an awful person?!"


You have to wonder why people make comments like that. Who knows what sparked it? A rabid PG fan? Something more?


message 70: by Claire (new)

Claire I actually went and looked at your Worth defender-Lori"s reviews and she actually said she was not going to buy another PG because The Other Queen was so poor.She was going to try library copies first. So even these people have standards.


Debbie♥ love my Ducks♥ lol Great review!


Misfit Debbie♥ love my Ducks♥ wrote: "lol Great review!"

Oops, this is an old one. Forgot to take it off the feeds.


Laura Landry I caught that ungulating thing too! Kind of assumed it was a typo for undulating! ;)


Misfit Laura wrote: "I caught that ungulating thing too! Kind of assumed it was a typo for undulating! ;)"

What I suspected as well. Lol.


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