Brice Sainsbury's Reviews > Horton Hears a Who!
Horton Hears a Who!
by Dr. Seuss
by Dr. Seuss
Brice Sainsbury's review
Aug 17, 2009
Read in August, 1998
After reading this book I began to think that if you are so small that you leave your national security up to an elephant, you don't deserve to exist. It also brought to my attention that Australians, represented by a kangaroo and her baby kangaroo, are arrogant and will poke fun of you behind your back. Lesson number 1, never befriend an Aussie! In my opinion the jungle is no place to live, if three monkeys can pick on an elephant and steal his clover then there is a problem. I kind of suspect that Horton isnt all there tho, just listen to him talk. Either that or he is drunk, and if thats the case then his hearing voices isn't very believable and what kind of childrens book would have a drunk elephant? Sorry I digress, there is a russian crow in cahoots with the three monkeys, his name is Valad Vlad-I-Koff (Show me a crow with that name that isnt a member of the KGB and I'll show you a liar). Valad steals his clover and drops it in a field of clovers hoping that the M.R. (Mentally Retarded) Elephant wont be able to find it, after searching and keeping a really accurate count and coincidentally an even number, the 3,000,000th clover he picked up out of this field happens to have his invisible friends on it. I would have given this book more stars but I failed to grasp the reasoning for so many attempts at rhymes. In a sophisticated novels such as this, if you dont land the first 5 rhymes with striking precision then leave the rest out. I did however give it 3 stars for the equal opportunity environment, it showed us that Australians (Kangaroos), Mexicans (Monkeys), a retarded elephant and even a Russian (Crow) can live together in somewhat peace. As long as the retarded/drunk elephant can keep his mouth shut and not invoke wars by claiming to hear invisible people. In closing I suggest all copies of this book be dipped in Beezle-nut oil and smoked through an elephant trunk shaped bong.
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