Baba 's Reviews > Hurt

Hurt by Varian Krylov
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it was amazing
bookshelves: all-time-favorites, spellbound, m-m-f-or-m-f-m, erotica-or-erotic-romance, five-star-reads

5+++ painful and emotional stars.*****Review completed March 11, 2013

Can someone love more than one person?

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Painful. Intense. Somber. Sad. Raw. Rough. Evocative. Erotic. Carnal. Hopeful. Beautiful.

This book is so much more than prime erotica. So, so much more.

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Let's not beat around the bush because the reader should know that this book deals with breast cancer. I don't consider this information a real spoiler. Every reader has to make up her/his mind if she/he is willing to deal with this aspect of the story. I was never personally affected by breast cancer and reading this story wrecked me. Hence, I cannot imagine how breast cancer patients must feel while reading Hurt. As far as I can judge it must be beyond painful, beyond finding any appropriate words to describe their feelings.

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"You don't have to pretend to be okay all of the time, you know. It's all right to be afraid. To be weak. It's okay to freak out."


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Even her wound. The incision, with its coarse, hair-like sutures. It was raw. An opening in the fragile mortal barrier to death. A mark of vulnerability. Of frail human flesh. It belied all the artifice, the grotesque masks she, he, everyone put forth for others to look at and touch.(…)


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I'm not sure if I can find the right words to convey my feelings for this book, let alone form a coherent sentence at the moment. In fact, I feel drained, sad and happy all at the same time. If you decide to read Hurt then you profess yourself to a tough ride that provides many ups and downs--more downs as a matter of fact. The author is cutting mercilessly yet powerfully through a vast landscape of pain more pain, insecurities, denial, fear, passion and a deep love.

"I trust Galen, Vanka. That…deeply. Perhaps you cannot trust his judgment. But you can trust his…his intent. He would never deliberately harm you. Except to please you. Or, rather, to give you what you need." He paused for a while, then added, "I'm sure you've noticed. He's very intuitive. Are you getting what you need?"


Hurt seized my mind, my emotions and my heart. It choked me up. It made me cry. From the very beginning the beauty of the rain set the pace and the ethereal atmosphere of the multilayered plot. It was masterfully done. Granted, there is plenty--and I mean plenty--of highly erotic and arousing sex, and I was honestly astonished to see that the sex never overwhelmed the story itself. If anything, it was a means to an end to reveal the main protagonists' subtle web of shortcomings as well as to fully develop the plot.

The head games…trying to escape the reality, pain and fear. Also, exploring and pushing boundaries…

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"It excites me, the way your fear arouses you."


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I feel almost bad for admitting it but I never thought that I would actually enjoy a love triangle. But it somehow felt…right and something that feels right can’t be wrong. Having said this, it wouldn't work for me in real life but who am I to judge? Love is love. Love comes in different colors, shapes and forms at different times and places. And the love between Galen, Khalid and Vanka is all-encompassing, deep and profound. Hurt is a story of three complex, flawed and hurt people who embark upon a journey to cope with their issues, to find their true self and to recognize and accept love eventually. I craved to see the unraveling of their state of mind. Also, I think the author did an outstanding job at depicting this journey in a way that made me devour the book. And even more so she let me, as the reader, draw my own conclusions. Besides, she evoked the MCs mutual pain and need hauntingly beautiful and through their reciprocal suffering she let them heal each other. Each saw what the other needed and they cared for each other's well-being.

"(…)I'd been physically transplanted into an alien world. It was amazing. That's what I loved about acting, for so long. Getting to live different lives, like a fantasy. But after a while, it feels kind of pathetic. Empty. I've started to wonder who I actually am. I've spent so much time pretending, developing all these personas that have nothing to do with my real life. Creating facsimiles of lives, of relationships. I'm a little sick of pretending."


Here are some more of my thoughts. I'm sorry but I had to spoiler tag them.

(view spoiler)

"(…)Or if me being here hurts you," he said in a tender voice, "I'll understand."
She finally managed to whisper, "I don't want you to go."

There. There was the look of hurt. Sadness.

She worked at letting him. This was part of it. Letting him look. Letting him touch.

His body against hers, inside hers, strong and warm. In every breath she smelled him, tasted him. He was all she heard, all she felt. There was nothing but them.


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She sank against him, sank down, and he sank down with her, her hurt swallowing him, his sobs rising and spilling over. He held her tight to him, their tears wetting each others' faces. "I'm sorry, Vanka. I'm sorry."

"(…)Here, you might have to let go of the wheel, for once. She's making her way back to you, her own way, in her own time. Trust her to come back to you, Galen."

"I want to come home."


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After her treatment Khalid was the first man to show her that she will always be beautiful no matter what, but Galen was the first who made love to her.

Hurt is an amazing book and as I mentioned already it is so much more than sublime erotica. Hurt depicts a thought-provoking journey of three wounded souls and you will experience that so much beauty and love can grow out of this almost unbearable pain. Hence, the author conveyed a powerful message through her work. This book has it all: plenty of well-written and erotic sex scenes, emotion, multilayered characters, a well thought out plot and last but not least beautiful prose. I'd like to encourage you to explore the hidden depth behind those sad eyes of Galen, Khalid and Vanka. Although it's a painful and at times even dark journey, it is incredibly intriguing and in the end also very rewarding. Fair warning though, this soulful trip might shred you to pieces. Be brave!


P.S. Yes, there is a HEA.


Warning
Hurt contains plenty of explicit sex (including oral and anal), bondage, toys, voyeurism, M/M, F/M, M/F/M
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Reading Progress

Started Reading
March 1, 2013 – Finished Reading
March 3, 2013 – Shelved
March 8, 2013 –
0.0% " photo tumblr_mg69m77C1B1qdb9h7o1_500_zps875f3753.gif\n This comes highly recommended…"
March 9, 2013 –
42.0% " photo tumblr_mad9l9of171rgz7fko1_500_zps44e4a199.gif\n "It excites me, the way your fear arouses you." It's excellent! This is so much more than sex. Really loving it so far!<3"
March 9, 2013 –
50.0% " photo tumblr_mjatb920ix1qclte1o1_400_zps60d8cf44.gif\n Your life is worth more. Maybe even some feeling of hope, of security is worth more. And the feeling that you have some control. Over your body. Your fate. This is the tough part. Painful and sad."
March 10, 2013 –
100.0% " photo tumblr_mf7layzeUs1s0rvo6o1_500_zps0e9b8c81.gif\n This book is tough to review. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3"
March 10, 2013 – Shelved as: all-time-favorites
March 10, 2013 – Shelved as: spellbound
February 9, 2014 – Shelved as: m-m-f-or-m-f-m
February 9, 2014 – Shelved as: erotica-or-erotic-romance
April 17, 2014 – Shelved as: five-star-reads

Comments Showing 1-50 of 161 (161 new)


Rosalinda *KRASNORADA* Enjoy Baba! Can't wait for your thoughts on this one x


Baba  Rosalinda wrote: "Enjoy Baba! Can't wait for your thoughts on this one x"

Thank you, Rosalinda. :) xxx


Baba  Chanda wrote: "Love this update! The blurb for it sounds amazing!"

Thank you, Chanda. The beginning is fantastic! :)


Denise ~The Procrastinating Book Diva~ I read this several years ago and it was one of my first erotic books that was about so much more than sex. Ironically enough, I was just thinking of re-reading it today. Can't wait to see what you think ;)


message 6: by Vishous (new) - added it

Vishous i already have it on my shelf so i am looking forward to your review!


Baba  Allison (is so done with winter) wrote: "Oh I'm intrigued!"

You should be, Allison. :)


Baba  Denise wrote: "I read this several years ago and it was one of my first erotic books that was about so much more than sex. Ironically enough, I was just thinking of re-reading it today. Can't wait to see what you..."

I'm loving it so far, Denise. It's excellent. Granted, there is sooo much sex but the writing is evocative. It's beautiful. Geeeez, this author knows how to write superb sex scenes and she creates an excellent atmosphere.


Baba  Vishous * RACHT's MINION! * wrote: "i already have it on my shelf so i am looking forward to your review!"

You will love it, V, I'm very sure. :)


message 10: by Vishous (new) - added it

Vishous Baba wrote: "Vishous * RACHT's MINION! * wrote: "i already have it on my shelf so i am looking forward to your review!"

You will love it, V, I'm very sure. :)"


i heard a lot about this author and it was only good so i will def give it a try but first i'll read your review :*


Baba  Vishous * RACHT's MINION! * wrote: "Baba wrote: "Vishous * RACHT's MINION! * wrote: "i already have it on my shelf so i am looking forward to your review!"

You will love it, V, I'm very sure. :)"

i heard a lot about this author an..."


Fair enough, V. :))


**Manjula ♥ Connor Cobalt** Wow.. sounds like a tear jerker!


**Manjula ♥ Connor Cobalt** Have you read the fault in our stars?


Baba  **Manjula** wrote: "Have you read the fault in our stars?"

Nope. I don't read YA.


Baba  **Manjula** wrote: "Wow.. sounds like a tear jerker!"

Yep. But not only because of the breast cancer...


Baba  deirdre wrote: "Baba, i cant wait for your full review ... And i agree about the breast cancer. I was quite taken aback that at its core that is what this book is about and the blurb says nothing!"

Well, you will have to wait a little longer coz I'm only halfway through the book. I really thought I should mention it in my review. Many readers--especially women who've had to deal with breast cancer--are not willing to read such a book. I remember that I looked at the book several times and I'm sorry I haven't read it sooner. It's so incredibly good.

You know the book title fits on so many levels and reflects the whole story. It's not only the breast cancer. It's about Galen's fear of accepting himself the way he is. As I see it (view spoiler)

And all the stuff about pretending. Being tired of pretending. But what does he do at the moment? As long as he cannot accept (view spoiler) Yeah, that's all very interesting.


Sandi ♥'s way too many M/M books Quite possibly the coolest pic ever!


Kelly| Just Another Horror Reader This books scares me a little, but I'm still planning on reading it. Looking forward to your full review, sweets!
xx


Baba  Vika wrote: "Great Review Baba"

This is not a review yet, Vika, but thanks anyway. :)


Baba  Sandra wrote: "Quite possibly the coolest pic ever!"

Which one? The first?


Baba  Kelly wrote: "This books scares me a little, but I'm still planning on reading it. Looking forward to your full review, sweets!
xx"


It's an intense read, sweets, but so, so freakin' amazing! Have a great Sunday! *mwah*


Sandi ♥'s way too many M/M books Baba wrote: "Sandra wrote: "Quite possibly the coolest pic ever!"

Which one? The first?"


The eye at 50% just cool as hell.


Baba  Sandra wrote: "Baba wrote: "Sandra wrote: "Quite possibly the coolest pic ever!"

Which one? The first?"

The eye at 50% just cool as hell."


Ah, I see. Many readers love that gif. :)


Kelly| Just Another Horror Reader Baba wrote: "Kelly wrote: "This books scares me a little, but I'm still planning on reading it. Looking forward to your full review, sweets!
xx"

It's an intense read, sweets, but so, so freakin' amazing! Ha..."


You too, sweetie! Mwah Mwah!! ;)


Baba  @everyone
My preliminary review is up.


message 27: by Nat O (new) - added it

Nat O Awesome!! So glad u enjoyed it Baba-- I will for sure read this when the price comes down a bit :-)


Baba  Sanaa wrote: "Awesome!! So glad u enjoyed it Baba-- I will for sure read this when the price comes down a bit :-)"

Thank you, Sanaa. I would have paid 20 bucks for this book coz it was that amazingly good!!


message 29: by Ilhem (last edited Mar 10, 2013 11:59AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Ilhem It's perfect as it is.:)

"Even though it's a painful and at times even dark journey, it is incredibly intriguing and in the end also very rewarding. Fair warning though, this soulful trip might shred you to pieces."

I couldn't agree more with you. I was torn to pieces and was given each piece back and more. In the end, it was source of great comfort, to see and actually feel that beauty, love and harmony, life all in all, can come out of so much hurt.
But it can also be too difficult to get past the hurt and this book can only provoke a gut reaction.


Baba  Ilhem wrote: "It's perfect as it is.:)

"Even though it's a painful and at times even dark journey, it is incredibly intriguing and in the end also very rewarding. Fair warning though, this soulful trip might sh..."


Thank you, Ilhem. Yeah, I guess it's good to sleep it over. Sometimes I thought there wouldn't be a HEA--not only because of her illness but also because of their emotional struggles. Their inability to really communicate and to open up. Also, I was afraid they wouldn't be able to overcome their fear.

It's true there is so much beauty that comes out of all this pain. I absolutely loved Galen and Vanka's lovemaking at the end of the story. It was achingly beautiful.


Elizabetta Love it when a review brings back memories of a great book that everyone should read. Thanks Baba!

BTW, I lost my mother to breast cancer and have lived with that fear looming over me all my life. So 'Hurt' was difficult reading because of this -- quite dark for me, anyway. But I see/saw it as a 'healing' read, that we are much more than just the physical and still capable of beauty even when the body fails us.


Ilhem I also feared that they wouldn't be able to make it work, that at least one of them would stay behind or on the side. It's very much the story of their 3 pains.
This book is incredibly multilayered.


message 33: by Vishous (new) - added it

Vishous Baba amazing pre-review! looking forward to your full review :)


message 34: by Dd (new) - added it

Dd Such a lovely preview Baba!!Waiting for your full one!!:))


message 35: by Glamdring (new)

Glamdring Beautiful review, Baba! :)


message 36: by Shelley (new) - added it

Shelley That is a fabulous review! I think you have said everything perfectly Baba! PERFECT! I'll just post a link to this on my review :)


message 37: by [deleted user] (new)

Wonderful preview Baba! I have marked it to read. I love books that are super intense and that threaten to break me apart with each and every page. I love to abuse myself! I can't help it! Lol Can't wait to read your full review!


Kelly| Just Another Horror Reader Wonderful preview, B! Can't wait to read your full one. :)


message 39: by Pam (new)

Pam Beautiful review Baba :)


message 40: by Desiree (new)

Desiree Wonderful preview!! This one sounds really good. :)


message 41: by Debra (new)

Debra Love the preview, Baba!! Amazing pics and gifs... :-)


Silkeeeeeereads Well, believe it or not I had to stop and think about whether or not I want to go there. Cancer has had devastating affects on my family. Then I got over it. I'm in. Going to grab it. Thanks for the great review, Baba! V


Rosalinda *KRASNORADA* I love your pre-review Baba and I am bumping this up right now.

It's all right to be afraid. To be weak.

(view spoiler)

x


message 44: by Joy (new) - rated it 5 stars

Joy Baba--your review is lovely as is--


message 45: by Susanne (new)

Susanne Awesome, Baba!


message 46: by Louise (new)

Louise Beautiful review Baba!:')


message 47: by Karla (new)

Karla Lovely review Baba!


message 48: by Jill (new)

Jill Amazing review, Baba!!


message 49: by Vishous (new) - added it

Vishous wonderful full review hon! def reading it ;)


Baba  Elizabetta wrote: "Love it when a review brings back memories of a great book that everyone should read. Thanks Baba!

BTW, I lost my mother to breast cancer and have lived with that fear looming over me all my life..."


You are welcome, Elizabetta. I'm very sorry to hear that. It's true some books can have a very positive impact on a reader--like you said--on the other hand I can understand why affected people wouldn't want to read such a story.
In the end that's exactly what stayed with me: you are still beautiful no matter what. A woman is more than a pair of breasts.


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