Olivia's Reviews > Priestess of the Eggstone

Priestess of the Eggstone by Jaleta Clegg
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it was ok

“Priestess of the Eggstone” by Jaleta Clegg was very interesting, but labored. I cannot tell who the target audience is, ten year olds, teens, or adults. It is not at all a challenging read, but I am going to review this as an adult’s book. The book was very descriptive; I could see every second in my mind's eye. In advance, I am sorry about all of the negative points I bring up. I really did enjoy the book! However, by the time a book is for sale, I want it to be finished. This book could be good, with a harsh editor and a few rewrites. I am going to hit the negative points one by one.

First of all, when in a high stress situation, instead of going for it, Clegg wrote, "I swore." Either go for it or leave it out. Some more examples are: "Jerimon ran his hand through his hair and swore." "I said a bad word..." "Jerimon said the same bad words I'd said just a minute before." "I said a few choice words..." It was hard to tell if the author was being prude, or if she could not think of creative enough swear words for the future.

The artificial gravity on such a small ship cannot handle water, but it could hold chicken soup in a bowl? I understand that chicken soup is slightly more dense than water, however I don’t find this believable. Even if it were scientifically accurate, later in the book, the gravity is “doubled” on the ship. Therefore, it is clear that there would have been a way to turn up the gravity, so to speak, and make it so gravity was completely “normal.”

At one point, Dace’s character thinks the following: "We couldn't do anything else, except maybe pray." What are the religious stances of these characters? Is divinity a thing? Do they believe in a god or gods or is Dace just using the word “pray” as a reflex? The author never clearly states what the humans believe, and it makes it hard to completely connect and understand the characters.

Dace calling an item a "drink container" and later just a "cup" seemed ambiguous and unnecessary. Perhaps Clegg was trying too hard to convey the unfamiliarity of the time and place.

When it came to the part when Jasyn was reading to Dace, I found myself laughing. Dace says about the first sentence, "That is the worst thing I've ever heard." The reading from the book is very similar in style and not much cornier than "Priestess of the Eggstone" itself. The only thing making the story cornier than "Priestess" is the goopy romantic bit.

I was exhausted with the constant bickering between Dace and Jerimon, or Tayvis and Jerimon. In fact, by the end, I wanted Jerimon to end up dying somehow so the constant fighting would stop.

Overall, I give this book a C. It has a good story line and was hard to put down, but I often found myself snickering at the writing. If this book had a good rewrite, it could be a good tween book, or if rewritten another way, a good YA/adult read. One of the first rules about writing is to “know your audience.” If Clegg got a strong editor, someone who doesn’t care about making her happy, this book could be a solid B+ in no time. I am interested to read the other books in the series.
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Reading Progress

Started Reading
August 19, 2012 – Shelved
August 19, 2012 – Finished Reading

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