Grace's Reviews > Narcissus in Chains

Narcissus in Chains by Laurell K. Hamilton
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's review
Aug 04, 2012

did not like it
Read in August, 2012


You know who I'm thinking of here? Marion Zimmer Bradley. That is not a compliment. Talk talk talk sex whine talk cry sex cry sex sex talk whine politics whine sex talk talk mope sex pine sex sex talk cry. Except with Anita, so there's also stomping, threatening violence, and being a total asshole.

The outfits in this book are a cross between a West Village queen's fever dream, the erotic etchings of a courtier during the reign of the Sun King, and the yearnings of some sort of hair fetishist. Men's hair flows down to waists, down to ankles, can you imagine what a total nightmare it would be to participate in an orgy with that much free-flowing hair? They deliberately take their hair out of braids before climbing into bed! INSANE. I know from experience that it is no damn fun to have your boyfriend accidentally pin your hair while moving around, and my hair was shoulder-length and there were only two of us. I now imagine all of these ridiculously unerotic sex scenes ending with all participants stuck in a giant snarl. Like a hairball hocked up by a massive cat.

And then Anita goes into conniptions about whether or not she had sex. This is a woman who has been sexually active for about six years. If she doesn't know what is and is not sex, I don't know what she's doing roaming free. Anita, you went to third base with one guy, second with another, and the others squirmed around you. Man up and deal. Stop whining.

Also, I am damn tired of Anita being talked round to a point of view over the course of fifteen pages, then if she's left alone for two seconds she reverts to her previous stance. Usually this stance is "no, don't wanna" even when someone has patiently gone over every avenue with her and it's taken thirty pages to get her to see reason. It's like listening to someone compromise with a toddler. There is nothing admirable about Anita's inability to make choices and stand by them. Sometimes she manages to reverse herself twice within one page, and she always ALWAYS takes her indecision out on someone nearby. She is a whiny brat, and J-C is too patient and accommodating. Richard on the other hand? Totally delusional and quite regularly dangerous in his idiocy. I think J-C is a dull fop who lays down for Anita like a brocade doormat, but even now I feel a weird pity for him, that he had the misfortune to hook up with these two morons who are going to get him killed. He must rue the day. Probably tries to kill himself every few weeks out of frustration.

The saving grace of this book is that when Anita is having sex with a cat-person, most anatomical features of cat breeding are not carried over. That will probably happen in book 14, though. Shudder.
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06/15/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-7 of 7) (7 new)

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message 1: by Manny (new)

Manny Grace, I am convinced. No matter how enticing the blandishments dangled before me, I will refuse to participate in any orgy featuring three or more long-haired people of either sex. I am sure you have saved me no end of pain and embarrassment.

Grace Just doing my civic duty, Manny. No one likes to end an orgy with the liberal application of detangler.

message 3: by Manny (new)

Manny Your dedication does you credit. In future, I hope I may consult you before attempting any potentially risky sexual exploits?

Grace Most awkward scenarios can be avoided by following a few simple guidelines: 1) Fabio-style hair should only be worn by one participant, 2) no one should change species during the act, 3) if at any point you think "hey, this is something Anne Rice would think of" STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING IMMEDIATELY.

message 5: by Manny (new)

Manny I am lost in admiration. When you say it, it sounds so simple and obvious, but I wouldn't even have thought of one of those rules.

message 6: by Aimee Regina (new)

Aimee Regina Belle I laughed at "killing himself every couple weeks out of frustration." It's awful; I know. I was once a big fan of this series ...

John Dye This has to be one of the funniest and relevant reviews of the series I have ever read. The God, where do you buy such incredible numbers of fetishwear in such wide quantities. Does every vampire have a cell full of dwarven tailors in their basements to put out such finery in such number?

And your bit about the hair? Pure awesome. As someone married for decades the 'get off my hair' line is quite familiar. Now Nathanial's hair? Imagine the body parts it can get wound around.

And yes, Anita is an asshole. She is. Terrible thing, isn't it?

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