Blair's Reviews > Seduction and Snacks

Seduction and Snacks by Tara Sivec
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4.5 STARS!
It's very appropriate that this book has a red cover, because it's pretty SCANDALOUS!! But it's scandalous in the best possible way. When the book starts, we are immediately presented with all of the reasons why our heroine, Claire, never wanted to have children. Her commentary is so hilarious it borders on disgusting, but everything she says is true. After about 10 pages, I said to myself, what the hell am I getting myself into?! But I pursued on and boy am I glad I did!

In a series of unfortunate events, Claire loses her virginity at a frat party, gets pregnant, and can't find her babydaddy. Fast forward 5 years. Claire's son is 4 and Carter, our hero, just happens to move to Claire's hometown where she is raising their son. This is romancelandia guys, so coincidences like that are allowed to happen! The events that unfold when Claire and Carter finally reuinte are so freaking hilarious that if you read this book in public, people will think you have some sort of laughing disorder.

I'm pretty sure I had a huge cheesy grin on my face the entire time I was reading this book. If you have a sense of humor and like steamy books, then this is the book for you. SO GO BUY IT! NOW! YOU'LL THANK ME!

Here's a little prequel to what you can expect:

And let’s face it people, no one is ever honest with you about child birth. Not even your mother. “It’s a pain you forget all about once you have that sweet little baby in your arms.” Bullshit. I CALL BULLSHIT. Any friend, cousin, or nosey-ass stranger in the grocery store that tells you it’s not that bad is a lying sack of shit. Your vagina is roughly the size of the girth of a penis. It has to stretch and open andturn into a giant bat cave so the life-sucking human you’ve been growing for nine months can angrily claw its way out. Who in their right mind would do that willingly? You’re just walking along one day and think to yourself, “You know, I think it’s time I turn my vagina into an Arby’s Beef and Cheddar (minus the cheddar) and saddle myself down for a minimum of eighteen years to someone who will suck the soul and the will to live right out of my body so I’m a shell of the person I used to be and can’t get laid even if I pay for it.

That's about as vulgar as the book gets, so don't think the entire book consists of comparing ladyparts to arby's sandwiches. It's all sexual humor. It's pretty crude, so if that's not your thing, that's ok too.
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