Stephanie's Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
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Jul 04, 2012

Read from July 04 to 07, 2012

When I was teaching second grade, we did an activity during writing called Dead Words. We picked out words from their writing that were so overused it was ridiculous - imagine second grade writing: "very" this, "happy" that, "went" there, "said" this, etc. We would declare the overused words "dead" and literally throw them a funeral with silly speeches (which couldn't use the dead words), a parade following the word on a paper headstone, and a treat at the end of the "wake." After the funeral, the words were no longer allowed in their writing, because "no one wants to see a ghost." "Said" was soon reborn into "mumbled," "shouted," and "trilled."

E.L. James would be the number one Dead Words victim of all time. If I tried this activity with her, she would run out of vocabulary to use, which blows my mind, since she CLEARLY wrote this book with a thesaurus strapped to her hand. I decided that my review of this book should consist of her Dead Word list, because I assume it's going to tickle my friends pink reading it, if they read this book before me. Y'all will know JUST what I mean.

Put on your black dress - these words are dying:

"smirk"
"double crap"
"taciturn"
"carnal"
"inner goddess"
"subconscious"
"behind" - for God's sake, woman, you're writing an "adult" novel, you can use words excelling beyond kindergarten.
"MERCURIAL" - HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU USE SUCH AN OVER-THE-TOP WORD?!
excuse my "shouty capitals."
"flush"
"immaculate"
"murmur"
"reverie"

...plus a few choice words I don't feel comfortable saying on a website my mother is on. Or any other people for that matter.

All in all, I read this book so fast because I had to skip so many pages in order to not die of humiliation even though I was in a room by myself. I can see why the book has a big following and all, but counting the repetitions of certain dying words and trying not to disappear into a hole in the floor was just a bit too distracting for me to get as "into it" as the masses are. If that's what floats your boat...then, well, double crap.
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Reading Progress

07/04/2012 "I'm already super embarrassed to be advertising that I'm even reading this. Oh lord, help me!" 1 comment

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