Desiree's Reviews > Ember

Ember by Madison Daniel
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's review
Jun 17, 2012

it was ok

The story was catchy--here are my problems with it: elementary grammar and punctuation errors, lots of them, distracting amounts of them! Lethargic narration, lots of places they could have tightened up dialogue, plot, etc. First person narration by a character that can somehow narrate events with great detail that he was not there to witness himself. Abundant sexuality among high schoolers. Now while this may represent reality, I wouldn't recommend this to a teenager when the main character speaks of sex as a way to decide which girl he really loves. Which brings me to the point that Max is fabulousy immature, selfish, and a great slacker--what an imspiring character. Also, he's living out every teenage boy's wet dream to have two beautiful, popular girls fight for his love (Again, "love" is repeatedly used, when lust seems the driving force). I was confused by the use of a time stamp at the beginning of each chapter--completely unnecessary, unless you want to emphasize that sex, love, and murder can all happen as the result of teenage hormones in less than a few weeks. I would recommend finding a real editor and starting over--this book has great potential for certain demographics, but the presentation is currently extremely weak.
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