Laurie's Reviews > Fifty Shades Trilogy

Fifty Shades Trilogy by E.L. James
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's review
Jun 12, 2012

did not like it

This was so awful, it was fun to read, and read...I read all three of them. Like a bad car wreck, I couldn't stop looking. Where do I start? Let's see, we have one, Ana Steele, newly graduated virgin, who is so smart and strong-willed, and so buried in classic literature that not even one singular male can turn her head. Until the day she fortuitously stands in for her best friend who is too sick with the flu to interview with one, Christian Grey (with an "e"), a 25-year-old self-made billionaire. Yes, that's right. BILLIONaire not millionaire at 25--he is drop-dead gorgeous, with chiseled cheekbones and auburn hair (why auburn?) that falls "foppishly" across his forehead. She is immediately so stricken by his presence that she literally trips into his office and falls into his arms. He, of course, is totally charmed by her innocence, her plain clothes, and her simple beauty. Other than her dark hair, that is all we know about Ana's physical appearance. Be that as it may, they both feel "jolts of electricity" course through their bodies at the slightest touch. Later on, Ana's jolts evolve into multiple orgasmic jolts simply through the brush of his hand on her arm, or the brush of his leather whip--either one will do. Her verbal response? "On MY!" I think she might have said "OH MY!" about 85 times throughout the series. Anyway, where was I? After the interview, she just can't stop thinking of him and his "wry smile," but no matter because he shows up the next day at the hardware store where she works, ordering everyday things like yards of twine and axes. Things progress quickly, and within a day or so, she is living with him at his mansion, complete with servants, a cook, bodyguards,etc. Sometimes he takes her to his country house in his private jet that he flies himself as he is an accomplished pilot. So, living at the mansion, she now never sees her friends or family any more as they are too busy having S/M sex approximately 12 times a day but also because Christian is a total control freak and won't let her out of his sight. But, there's something "different" about Ana, Christian feels. And, he is so taken with her, he doesn't make her sign his standard s/m contract specifying everything she is allowed to do and not do-- looking at him directly without his permission, for example (which would be difficult anyway since he usually blindfolds her before sexplay--oh MY!). But again, with Ana, it is oh so different. Of course eventually we learn that Christian's weird sexual proclivities are a result of his tragic early life: From his "crack whore" (yes, these are the actual words used) mother to his abusive foster family, he is a broken man. You see where this is going. If you don't SPOILER ALERT: The author actually has the audacity to have the last scene take place in a lovely field, strewn with flowers, a family picnic with their new baby boy and girl on the way. So, now you don't have to read the books, or do you?
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Reading Progress

Finished Reading
June 12, 2012 – Shelved

Comments (showing 1-11 of 11) (11 new)

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message 1: by Amy (new)

Amy All I can say is "oh MY"....

Irene I'm an American, and I spell it, "grey", it's a matter of preference not ethnocentricity. Other than that, I don't find your review helpful, rather 'hateful', so I suppose I shall form my own, informed, decision once I read the trilogy myself.

Laurie Ok, then I guess it would be fine to spell "colour" and call gas "petrol." Sorry my review offended you but the purpose of Goodreads is to express your opinion, which is what I did, perhaps ineloquently, but all the same.

message 4: by Dergrossest (new)

Dergrossest I don't know that your review was ineloquent. I also don't know why anyone would want to imitate the British, perhaps the single most annoying people in the world. Finally, I don't know why any normal person would want to read about S&M, Seattle and crack whores all rolled-up into one book, much less three. Oh well . . .

Aryn Lol, I actually enjoyed this review of yours. I felt the same exact way. It was not the best of reads but entertaining and irritating at the same time.

Lori I loved your review, I told people who asked about it the following: Take any cheesy Harlequin romance novel and add S&M...but yet...I still read all a few days during some it is good brain

message 7: by Lisa (new)

Lisa 1 star states you didn't like it, though you read all 3, and say that it was fun to read.

message 8: by Brittany (new)

Brittany Lemasters Obviously it deserves more than one star since u say you read all 3.

message 9: by Brittany (new)

Brittany Lemasters And that's real class right there spoiling the ending for people. Kudos.

message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

We are telling people how to rate and review books now based on the fact that she read all three? Why do you care? Live your life and stop harassing people. She spent the money, she can rate and review how she wishes. She certainly doesn't need to explain herself to internet TROLLS.

message 11: by Beth (new) - rated it 5 stars

Beth Strzyzewski Although, I did love the trilogy (oh my :)). I found your review dead on! Going back and re reading it again,.... I find a lot of it to be cringe worthy, and almost humorous.

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