Isamlq's Reviews > Fifty Shades Trilogy

Fifty Shades Trilogy by E.L. James
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's review
May 27, 2012

did not like it
Read from May 27 to 28, 2012

Book One: 2/5
1.So, this is what all the fuss was about.
2.He says, Laters, baby *snort*
3.Is it me or do they both sound English?
4.I’m this close to smacking Ana silly with all her deep (but not really deep) asides re her Inner Goddess. Ditto with the Subconscious (capital S). And to those two, add every single instance she bites her frigging lower lip.
5.There’s a lot of sexual gymnastics going on in this one. A lot. Many of the things she’s describing had me asking, ‘Say what now?’ It’s like she’s twisting every which way!
6.Eek, (view spoiler)*Gag.*
7.Why is it the same tune over and over?
Fifty: "You’re hot."
Ana: "You’re hot.”
Them: Sex
Ana: “I’m not sure about this."
Fifty: All dominant and growly.
Anna: You’re hot”
Fifty: “You’re hot”
Them: Take a wild guess about what comes after.

8.Can anyone get this Inner Goddess to shut up?
9.When she went, “Well, you are one fucked-up son of a bitch.” I'm all, 'Why, yes, he is.'
10. Every other word I've considered tried to type's got a double meaning now. Ack!

This isn’t actually a terrible book. I suppose it’s at par with every other erotica I’ve read before. Oh, who am I kidding? Scratch that. It actually is terrible with all those complaints thrown against being valid and true BUT I went in eyes open to said faults. So should I really be disappointed over how it fulfilled my not quite high expectations? Should I?

Obviously, there’s a whole lot of sex. There’s a guy with a deep dark past, who’s all at once mysterious yet creepy (mysteriously creepy?) Scary and alluring. And while the “heroine” *not* acknowledges all these things about him, she still stuck around! (Heck, I stuck around!) So yes, a “heroine” that makes me want to smack her with all her faffing about. I went into this knowing a good deal of what was going to take place (view spoiler) and while it’s definitely not the best erotica it’s neither the worst. But still, how fucked up could be?

Yet, for all my bitching and moaning and my “say what now” moments, I’m still reading on! Even with it's girl who's too much like a doormat; even with the creepy stalker controlling male lead. Now, the mystery is why I’m still doing so. Maybe because there's this addictive quality to it. That despite the cheesy dialogue, the unusually detestable characters in this, well, maybe just maybe I'm missing something that others have already caught on to.


Book Two: 1.5/5
1. So, if you’re a Dom, and that’s how you get off… is it really doable for you to switch off your preference? Serious question here. No, really.
2. Dear me! Back to wash rinse repeat of you’re hot; no, you’re hot then sex…
3. Dear me! Why do I feel like I’ve tuned into a soap opera? His subs look alike? How much more fucked up can you get, Fifty?
4. Be gone, Inner Goddess! (Dance the night away on your own with all your arabesques and flipping and turning. Jeez!)
5. Why do I do this to myself?
6. Despite all the sex, or maybe because of all the sex, things have gotten monotonously boring. Yes, the sex remains predictable. (See item #6 for Book #1)

Book Three
1. DNF. I tried. I seriously did but it’s all the same!

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08/29/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-8)

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message 8: by Chechoui (new)

Chechoui Yep, the characters sound British because the author's from London and she used a lot of Brirish slang that was not edited properly for American characters Apparently there was no editor either to help with the amazing redundancy of so many scenes and dialogues. :/

message 7: by Anna (new) - rated it 1 star

Anna Burton Hahahahahahaha omg thank you, they sound English and the author is struggling to stay in this century. Horribly written. Pure stupidity

message 6: by DeAnna (new)

DeAnna I hated her inner goddess too. I wanted to throw her Pom poms away and send her doing backflips down the hill!

message 5: by Tracey (new)

Tracey Kimani Very badly written book, I deleted the trilogy from my Kindle after reading 20% of the second book. Total waste of time for me really

message 4: by Susan (new)

Susan Blais Tracey please tell me how you deleted them from your kindle. what a waste of time and money. What is all the excitement about? These books are terrible. I got past chapter two in book two and couldn't take any more. Isamiq, I loved your review, very humorous, and right on!!

Eden Pastor I agree with EVERYTHING you said and I could not get myself to read #3 either. More of the same....snore! I want to slap her inner goddess the F up!

message 2: by Lilia (new)

Lilia I personally hate Anastasia. She is phatetic, stupid and acts like 12 year old. Language in this book is horrible. If i could i would give this book 0/5. I also have problem with her being stupid, having nothing in life exept husband who hits her and child in age 22. She is everything i would not want to be. It is very bad example for every woman and this book is degrading brains. If you love this book i personally hate you.

message 1: by Vellum (new)

Vellum Voyages Hahahahaha I LOLd so hard at this review! Thanks for me making me laugh!

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