John Egbert's Reviews > Dark Flame

Dark Flame by Alyson Noel
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** spoiler alert ** So. Two annoying, arrogant horny teenagers are the guardians of an elixir that allows you to possess immortality and various psychic powers.

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After attempting Dark Flame, I feel more worn out than anything. I made it about a third of the way through before giving up.

I don't know what prompted me to read this. Maybe because I found it ironic that I had only Dark Flame out of the entire Immortals series. Maybe it was just sheer stupidity. Whatever the case, I apologize to myself for wasting thirty minutes of my life that I can never, ever get back. The only thing saving this book from being one star is that I recently read American Psycho, and everything seems Not That Bad after that. Bleh.

I do have to admit that despite some readers (although I don't have much backstory of her behavior from the previous books, so I don't know) disliking of Haven that I found some of her issues with Ever and Damon to be pretty reasonable. ...But on the other hand, maybe that's just because Ever and Damon annoy me more than she does.

Bleh. Anyway, it's certainly not a big surprise to anyone that's talked to me for five seconds, but I just found it really hard to care about Ever or anything she wanted. Okay, yeah, I'm willing to say that never being able to have sex with the person you love is a sad thing. But for cryin' out loud, it's Ever's only fucking goal. Pun surely not intended. At the beginning of the book she's willing to send someone she considers one of her best friends into the lap of Roman, who she thinks of as the second coming of Hitler, to get the magical antidote. That's messed up.

(view spoiler)


But considering her track record with Jude, yeah, I can't say I'm surprised. It's bad enough that she accused him of being part of an evil cult without any evidence other than a snake tattoo (a tattoo... big whoop). But then she, apparently, threw him across his yard and broke his arm. And then she tracks him down at the store he works to go and slash open his other arm to prove that he's an Immortal. Hel-lo, you idiot, you could have just easily pricked his finger. In the first place, YOU DIDN'T NEED TO CUT OPEN HALF THE ARM, HONEY. In the second place, it's usually common practice to give a little warning before you just lunge at someone with a knife. In the third place, what the fuck. I'm a little upset that Jude didn't get as far away from her as possible after that, because accusing you of being part of a cult of immortals and slicing open your arm is pretty much the telltale sign of a dangerous, delusional psycho. I can only say that I'm very glad I'm not one of Ever Bloom's 'friends'.

Which brings me back to Haven. Why did they try to keep things from her, when they knew it would only drive her closer to Roman? Why not let her trust YOU, instead of forcing her to seek the aid of your enemy? Oh, that's right, because Ever and Damon are just two annoying, arrogant horny teenagers! Telekinesis, telepathy, immortality, flawlessly beautiful and what not but that will never change what's going on in their skulls: absolutely nothing.

Which brings me back to my opening statement: Two annoying, arrogant horny teenagers are the guardians of an elixir that allows you to possess immortality and various psychic powers.

I have three problems with this:

1. Ever and Damon deciding who gets to become immortal.

2. Ever and Damon deciding who deserves however much of becoming immortal, sans who gets however much powers and whatnot.

3. Ever and Damon having anything to do with anything at all concerning immortals and special powers.

4. I know I just said three, BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD EVER AND DAMON, PEOPLE. I, personally, do not think those two of all the earth's creatures should have that kind of power! UGH!

There are some teenagers who can handle that responsibility. There are some teenagers who I would gladly hand over the job of guarding the world's most dangerous smoothie. There are some teenagers who I would easily trust my fate as a human being with. Ever and Damon are not those two people.

Now why is it that I can see Ever handing over a bottle of red liquid to a potential evil dictator bent on murdering millions of people and becoming the ultimate king of the world?

*shudders* It's all make believe, it's all make believe, the elixir isn't real, Ever and Damon aren't real....

Ehem, um... anyway, my basic points can be summed up as follows:

-Ever and Damon are both crazy idiots.

I doubt that I will be attempting to read any other Immortal books in the future. And by that I mean I will never so much as think about reading anything related to Ever or her affairs again. I just don't have the time or patience.
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Comments (showing 1-6 of 6) (6 new)

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message 1: by Amanda (new)

Amanda The Book Slayer Wow I am impressed. You made it to book 4. I gave up after book 2. Yeah it was not going to happen.


message 2: by John (last edited May 27, 2012 11:59AM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

John Egbert Mommaseymour wrote: "Wow I am impressed. You made it to book 4. I gave up after book 2. Yeah it was not going to happen."

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Oh no no no I most certainly did not. I haven't read any of the other books except for Evermore, and when I read that it was more than a year ago. I doubt I'd have retained my sanity reading four whole books of Ever.


message 3: by Amanda (new)

Amanda The Book Slayer so true.


John Egbert I'll say.


message 5: by Tami (new) - rated it 1 star

Tami *clapping*

Night Star was worse than this one.

I only made it a few pages before I said "screw it"


John Egbert But... it was... how?!


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