Jessica's Reviews > The Scarlet Thread

The Scarlet Thread by Francine Rivers
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May 17, 2012

did not like it
Read in May, 2012

** spoiler alert ** I didn't end up reading the entire book. Personal preference, but I was horrified when the husband up and announced they were leaving their home, moving somewhere "glamorous", and putting their house of ten years up for sale. With NO forewarning or previous communication. THEN the husband immediately pitches the argument that he's given everything up for HER, maybe she should repay the favor. Um, she's been raising your children and making a home for you for ten years. I don't see how she OWED him! The story gets better. Immediately following a very choppy first 40 pages, they're walking into a beat up 2 bedroom and their older children (a boy and a girl!) are sharing a room. He proceeds to announce he's going out for an hour or two to "talk business" and left her ALONE! THEN the guy (predictably) doesn't phone and walks in after midnight. (She's too forgiving, I would have packed up and left.) He then drags her to a dinner at his new bosses' home, where his extremely cultured and intelligent wife proceeds to make her feel like an uneducated, backwoods moron... and to top things off, her husband has eyes for her. At this point, I predicted that he would leave her for another woman because she was so boring and dull; and, he wanted fresh and interesting. I skip ahead 300 pages. What do I see? Yes, he had left her for a woman named Elizabeth. AWESOME. Really, I'm ranting and raving to my laughing husband at this point, but it gets BETTER- remember, I skipped the 300 pages because it was an infuriating story line, and I've already called it; I tell my husband she's going to decide him being with another woman was ALL HER FAULT. I determine because she didn't full on support his decision to move with no warning, and no conversation, she will take him back. A few more pages ahead aaaaannnnndddddd (drum roll, please!) Yup. She did. (What I failed to mention was that her precious mother supported HIM in the move and then died. He left her to her own vices to heal the pain of the loss of her last remaining parent, which (to me) is atrociously evil.) THE MOST disappointing Francine Rivers novel, and I'm so disgusted. Women as subservient, quiet pawns in the game of men? No, that is NOT how God intended our marriages to be. Please don't let this solitary book be your lone representative of her work!
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09/27/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-10 of 10) (10 new)

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Laurie Berry It's worth reading the whole book. I, too, struggled with the husbands behavior. However, When we always look at the speck in another's eye we fail to see the log in our own. That's the point in the book. Sometimes moves happen and though we hurt for being uprooted, especially be selfis motives, the move is exactly what god needs to get us out of our comfort zone and into his. What u missed in not reading the entire book is that both of them were selfish and both of them were not living out their faith. Only through both of them losing so much did they both come to lean on god rather than doing it all on their own. This book is convicting as we can all see parts of ourself in Sierra. She had a right to be sad for being moved from her home and being treated poorly by her husband but she handled herself badly from the beginning and never even considered that the move may be a good thing. Read it again and I think you may be blessed. I really appreciate your honesty though.

message 2: by Feminista (new) - added it

Feminista I am putting this on my never-to-read list. Great review!

Elizabeth Ray I hope no impressionable young women use this as an example of what kind of wife they need to be...

Laura Stryker Well, now I'm curious....will read it and I've had it for years and started it over 10 years ago and got bored. Maybe Now I just want to see what my personal views are about it.

Linda I had read Redeeming Love before this one and liked it enough to try another one by Rivers. I only got about 1/3 of the way through it - couldn't stand Sierra and found the story was boring and moved too slowly. Predictable too, it seems. I don't abandon books very often, but don't feel bad about doing so with this one. Thanks for a good review that confirmed my decision to reshelve it.

Jaymee Johnson I didnt get that all the blame was put on her. I think the point was that it takes two people in a relationship. That she wasn't a perfect wife and he was a terrible husband (although he was. And they both admitted that he was) but that they both failed each other in different ways. His was obvious. Hers was subtle. Now was either to blame for the others mistakes? No. It shows that no relationship is sustainable outside of the Lord and with him, even the impossible is possible.

message 7: by Feminista (new) - added it

Feminista Umm Jaymee, when weren't there two people in a relationship? Oh right when the husband decided to bring another woman into it.

For me cheating is unforgivable. It's a senseless act that shows absolutely no respect for the other spouse. I think it's bullshit to put the blame on both parties. It isn't. Yes that their marriage was in tatters can be blamed on both, but that he chose to stray is his responsibility solely. No one forced him into someone else's bed. And that he did so shows him for the weak human being that he is. It shows nothing for her.

Jaymee Johnson If you haven't read the book, then why comment? The book NEVER said it was ok to cheat on your wife! It talks about how awful it is and what a mess it makes. But it also talks about the power of forgiveness through Christ.

message 9: by Feminista (new) - added it

Feminista That's because I don't need to read the book to know that the concept it is based on is completely ridiculous. Just like I don't need to have joined up or been targeted by the KKK to know that they are a profoundly immoral and vile group. Its their principles that disgust me, same with this book.

And can you even listen to yourself? Power of forgiveness through Christ. You know what I hear? It's like saying to your cheating spouse: you can have your cake and eat it too.

Because you know what. Instead of the husband talking to the wife about their problems, instead of the husband suggesting they go to a counsellor OR EVEN instead of the husband suggesting they separate for a while and sort themselves out, he decides to sleep with another woman. So when you say forgiveness, the question I am asking is WHY? Why forgive such an undeserving human being? Why take the blame upon yourself when the same undeserving person cheats on you, breaks your marriage vows, vows you took before (and here I am appealing to your religious stance) God. Why, when there are surely other people out there who are willing to treat you well and respect you enough not to cheat.

You know what, I am not going to comment any further. There is absolutely no point trying to explain to you why this whole concept of forgiveness is sometimes so wrong.

But I will say this. I work in a law firm that practices family law. All family law cases are for separation and divorce. And too many of them, in too many of them, one of the spouse cheats on the other and it is usually the husband. I see the devastation it causes not just for the other spouses but their children. So no, cheating and adultery is not at all justifiable and I think forgiving it in any sense, is in a way justifying it.

message 10: by Laura (last edited Jan 17, 2015 06:15AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Laura Stryker Gods grace is forgiveness we don't deserve, a gift because He loves us. God forgives each of us of so much that in turn we feel humbled and forgive others. Not to mention the powerful healing that takes place when you forgive. God is all about restoration and healing. forgiving is not justifying or saying there is no consequence for your actions. forgiving says I no longer hate you for what you did, it says I too have done wrong things and can extend forgiveness. forgiveness is hard. being hurt is hard. letting go of the anger is hard. but, in the is the best medicine for the soul. ive been a cheater and ive been cheated on. neither side of the fence is good....both sides suck. I forgave my first husband for cheating, physical abuse, mental and emotional games, and much more. it was about me being set free from the past. we did divorce and he eventually died in prison. when he died we were friends. im so glad it ended that way. what if I never had the opportunity to say goodbye with a whole heart. healed by God and restored by His grace. you see I was guilty of hating, wanting revenge, plotting evil against him, character assassination, and ultimately cheating on him too. when you are able to look at your own part in it, it truly does humble you and then you find forgiving not so hard. of course all this is only possible with Gods assistance in changing the human heart.

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