Melanie Page's Reviews > Fatty Patty

I must be an idiot, because I did not read the entire book synopsis, which is plainly there, asking the main character to put down the fork so she can find love. Instead I saw "Michigan" and that cute cupcake cover and bought this stupid book. The first couple of paragraphs have the following gems:

"Brand new body. Brand new me."

"That's what I love about starting a new diet. The world seems bright and shiny and I'm filled with happy hope."

"I've got the smarts, I just don't have the body."

"This ugly pink [bathing] suit has seen too many summers and too many cookies. I'm pretty sure the James Bay School Board of Education would not approve of one of their teachers being arrested for indecent exposure."

All within the first 1% of the book Patty has decided she's too fat in her bathing suit, meaning any part of her body that is exposed (like her butt cheeks if the suit rides up a little) will make her a sex offender and that she hasn't won teacher of the year because she's too fat. What kind of school is awarding excellence in teaching for a thin body? Plus, readers are introduced right away to Patty's twin, who was born "tiny and frail," so now Patty sees her twin as the pretty one. It was super good luck her sister almost died because now she gets to be "a thin delicate beauty."

Gag me, please.