I've wanted to write a review of this book for a while, but I've struggled with what to say about it. Before I read it, I had heard this book strongly criticized by several youth ministers in my family and acquaintance. Their criticisms are valid. This book does not present a hardline position on anything other than the fact that sex is acceptable only within the confines of marriage. It takes a much less hardline stance on topics such as masturbation, or the use of birth control inside or outside marriage. Although it discusses these topics and shows how a spirit of chastity would approach these topics, it leaves it to the reader to decide. That makes this book frankly unteachable for many youth pastors, because in most churches taking anything other than a hardline stance with high school or below is unacceptable, even if the minister agrees, because parents would not be okay with it.

When I personally read the book, though, I thought simply because it was willing to discuss this issues and the fact that answers are hard and confusing on some topics related to sex, it was a much more honest and therefore also impacting book than what was available to me as a Christian teenager. Winner really gets at the reasons why chastity is important throughout our lives as Christians (not just before marriage; she also discusses lifelong chastity, widowhood, and moments of chastity within marriage) and makes it clear what a spirit of chastity is like. Because of this, I thinks she does a much better job of explaining why sexual matters are important in Christianity, and equips readers with the toolkit to make their own decisions regarding the aforementioned sexual activities that aren't overtly discussed in the Bible. She also paints an excellent picture of where sexuality fits within the church as a whole, in a transformative process, and not just how sex relates to young people. It also helps, of course, that it is written in Lauren Winner's characteristic intelligent and winning writing style.

As a married, albeit young (23), Christian woman, I still found this book insightful and it has helped me to clarify my position on many sexual matters, simply because it is moreso a book of theology, even if it is very easy to understand. That said, I do wish this book had been around when I was younger to help me understand why the church said what it did back when I needed these answers to these questions more fervently. While I understand the reticence of youth pastors, I think parents of mature teens could certainly recommend this book, particularly if they'd like to discuss it with them. As for teens going off to college of any type, I think it is a book that is of utmost importance in navigating college cultures. I will likely give it away as a going-to-college gift in the future. Still, I think anyone of any age who still struggles to understand the church's basic stance on sexuality would do well to read this.