Melissa's Reviews > He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt
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's review
Jul 13, 2007

it was amazing
Recommended for: folks frustrated with dating

The title is off-putting. But the idea is simple: why waste one moment of your precious time on somebody who doesn't think you're the cat's pajamas? If s/he doesn't dig you like you deserve to be dug, drop him/her, stop wasting your time barking up a lame tree.

This book is empowering - it has become my post-breakup manual, and my copy has notes in the margins about each of the lovely gents who, alas, were just not that into me. (It's also been informative using the book like this because it helps highlight my own foible-rific patterns.)

The only part I don't particularly love is Greg's assertion that women mayn't take the initiative & pursue a man in any way. I've chosen to take this advice with a grain of salt: I refuse to pretend to be some eyelash-batting man-lure - I feel like that would be unfair to all parties if I were to behave so uncharacteristically. Instead I take the middle road - Greg's whole thing is that men prefer to pursue rather than being pursued. So I am myself... just a politely subdued version of me. I'll let you know how it works out.
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Reading Progress

Started Reading
January 1, 2006 – Finished Reading
July 13, 2007 – Shelved

Comments (showing 1-3 of 3) (3 new)

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message 1: by Mscharlee (last edited Aug 25, 2016 11:35AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Mscharlee I agree with you. Loved every morsel of this book except the notion that girls can't do the pursuing. I don't mind starting the chase but it, just as long as he eventually picks it up.

message 2: by Rachel (new)

Rachel I agree - saying that a woman should never ask the guy out was too extreme. What's the harm in asking a guy out, even if the guy says no? If he says no you accept it and move on. And if he says yes and you go out but then he never calls again, you accept it and move on. Most of the advice in the book was spot-on, but that was it's biggest flaw.

message 3: by Misha (new)

Misha Hamu The fact is that men don't play 'hard to get'. If they're being hard to get, it's because they don't want to be got. Frankly I think playing hard to get is lame anyway. My advice to men and women both- Act interested if you're interested, back off if the other person doesn't reciprocate.

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