Jaye Berry's Reviews > Beauty and the Billionaire

Beauty and the Billionaire by Lauren Landish
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did not like it
bookshelves: 2019, contemporary

This is a one star but think of it as a nice one star because I have read books so much worse and more offensive than this but I can't get myself to give this a two.

Oh my god I'm dead. I can't stop laughing at how actually fucking wild this book was. It wasn't good at all but I found it so hilarious??? I feel like a super jerk for laughing hysterically at something that is a serious romance book but I am sorry, this really got me laughing.

I'm not repeating that ridiculous title so we can pretend this isn't some half-assed BATB retelling but this book is about Mia, a data analysis and ends up working directly for her company's CEO- well known bastard Thomas. Obviously they hit it off instantly and the rest of the book is extremely graphic smut with an emo love interest also packaged with random corporate espionage and some discount supervillain POV just to spice things up.

I was well aware going into this book that it wasn't my kind of romance novel but I still gave it a shot. The way this relationship starts is SO quick I'm still mad about it. Mia shows off her computer smarts to Thomas, they both get boners and then he invites her to a "business meeting" at a fancy restaurant and tells her to wear a nice dress. They go and he quickly is like, "we both know this isn't about work" and again gets a boner at seeing her legs (while she is going off about her arousal every time she sees him, including the first time she even saw him like 3 days ago) before they go back to his house to have sex. Build up??? Having more than one conversation first?? NOT jumping to have sex with your boss / employee that you barely know??? None of that goes here.

The writing is so embarrassing and I was cringing every other line. Mia is some anime loving super geek and wow, we are really going to hear about it. Literally every time someone describes her, (and even just randomly) she'll be like, I'M A GEEK OKAY, LOOK AT ME. I PUT COLORED STREAKS IN MY HAIR, WEAR KPOP TSHIRTS, AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES!! Also, really thanks SO MUCH for that nasty ass scene where they dress up as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask to screw. I'm calling the police on them for ruining my childhood with their random fetish (they didn't have to wait until they were in Tokyo for that but okay.)

Thomas spends the entire book going ON AND ON about "the beast" and demon inside him and how emo he is but uhhh. He was kind of okay? Minus one scene where he gets mad and throws something, he is never anything but nice to Mia. He is super gross and controlling in that he also keeps repeating how much he owns her and how much he wants to claim her but it never goes anywhere besides him growling all the time about it. Plus the dude donates money and his time to orphans but go off about being a monster I guess.

The rest of the book is just so hilariously bad. It is shockingly boring, filled with a mix of smut, angst, cringy fluff, and weird attempts at making this an exciting book. It makes sense that this book would be lacking in good plot or character and relationship development, but the attempts at trying really just got me laughing. We all know what this book is for and let's not pretend people are reading this for some random company spies. This is just a personal thing but ew lol that smut just grossed me out. While I think smut is fine and I like it when it matters, I have to care about the characters being together and obviously I never had time when they just instantly jumped in bed together.

It might just be the sleep deprivation that made this book so funny to me because boy was it a wild mess. Still reading the sequel though.
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Reading Progress

July 25, 2019 – Started Reading
July 25, 2019 – Shelved
July 25, 2019 – Shelved as: 2019
July 25, 2019 – Shelved as: contemporary
July 25, 2019 – Finished Reading

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