Mary Drover's Reviews > Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals

Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis
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it was amazing
bookshelves: favorites, nonfiction

I recommended The Holy Wild by Danielle Dulsky to a friend, and before I’d even really finished singing its praises, she’d purchased it. A while later, she told me that Girl, Stop Apologizing was what The Holy Wild had been for me for her, and so I did the same thing. I bought it immediately, and I was so excited to read it and to experience another transformative journey. I was not disappointed.

However, an interesting thing happened while I was in the middle of reading this. A different friend said she was curious about my review of it because she’d seen such a big divide of love and hate. Another friend said that she’d heard some really negative critiques about the book, that many thought Hollis came from such a place of privilege that she had no basis for this story. And I was shocked. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m usually out of the loop for a lot of book-related things, but both of those comments were so startling until I really got thinking about them.

For one, I think people who hate this book are not ready for it. I know that if I’d read this a few years ago, I probably would have been put off by it because I was not ready to work on myself, or even to admit that myself needed work. When you’re still blaming everything in your life that goes wrong on outside forces, you’re not going to like a book that tells you to look inside first. It’s the same thing with tarot–most people hate the swords suit because, of the four suits, it’s the one that tells us to pay attention to our insides, to our truth, and nothing else. And perhaps I should have seen this coming since the swords suit is also my favorite, but I adored this book. There were so many powerful moments in it, but there is one that has stuck with me so much that I repeated it four times in one day to four separate people. “Other people’s opinions about you are not your business.”

I’m going to say that again, but in bold.

“Other people’s opinions about you are not your business.”

I also had a pretty emotional reaction to the rest of the chapter where this quote comes from, and while I’m still working through some stuff concerning what that chapter talked about, it has, like The Holy Wild, helped me look at those issues a little more.

Now, the second point, that Hollis comes from a place of privilege and thus has no basis for this story. Um? Did we read the same book? Because the story Hollis tells is that she came from a very poor, abusive, and toxic environment as a child, that she’s had to undergo years of therapy and self-work to overcome what she endured growing up, and that, as an adult, she still has negative relationships with much of her past. That is not a place of privilege. And if your argument is that she has a nanny for her kids, or that she has a huge following on social media and takes time to do makeup and her hair and utilize a stylist, or that she has this gorgeous life now–she has worked her ass off to get to that point. She made it a goal, and oftentimes a priority, to achieve certain things in her life, like a nanny, that she knew would better both her own life, her marriage, and her children, and she kicked butt until she got to a point where she could achieve that goal or priority. So, if you’re coming away from this book thinking that Hollis comes from a place of privilege, the same kind of thing is happening. Not only are you not ready to work on yourself, but you’re not ready to admit that you are important. And that’s okay. That’s not a knock on anyone in that position. It’s just an observation, that if this book rubbed you the wrong way, it probably wasn’t the right moment in your life to be reading it.

This review has gotten insanely long, but I have one last thing to add. I read Secrets for the Mad by Dodie Clark last year, and I desperately wished I’d had it when I was in high school. I think it would have made a world of difference to know that I was not alone in what I was feeling as a teenager. This March, I read Unfiltered by Lily Collins, and again, I wish I’d had it when I was in college, to see that someone my age was wondering the same things, was experiencing the same difficulties. Since then, I’ve been searching for the post-college, early-to-mid-20s book that fits that mold, and I think this is it. Now just give me a few years to find one for your 30s, haha.
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Reading Progress

June 20, 2019 – Started Reading
June 20, 2019 – Shelved
June 20, 2019 –
page 85
June 21, 2019 –
page 151
June 22, 2019 – Shelved as: favorites
June 22, 2019 – Finished Reading
October 8, 2019 – Shelved as: nonfiction

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message 1: by Taylor (new)

Taylor McCafferty I'm so curious what you'll think of this book. I've heard very mixed things.

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