Alok's Reviews > Wait for It

Wait for It by Mariana Zapata
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it was amazing
bookshelves: fiction, kindness, surprisingly-good, 2019-final-reading-list, favorites

5 Stars, favorite! (with a few caveats)

“You can’t always wait for someone else to do the right thing when you can do it yourself.”

One of the best books I've ever read. I seriously had no idea this book would be so good. The protagonist and her way thinking. Wow. I was in a reverent awe of her, from the very first chapter to the last. And still am.

I really like to correct my behavior by looking upto superheroes in comics and Manga characters who go out of their way to help others. And I also gorge philosophy books in my spare time. My personal philosophy based around virtues and self improvement. I really enjoy books with kinder, better people who inspire me to be a better version of myself. I really didn't expect someone like that in what I thought was a romantic book. This was a really pleasant surprise. The most notable part is how relatable she is.

This book also covers so many important issues - especially living as single parents and prejudices against them by society, living through tragedies, childhood without parents, acceptance and reconciliation of broken family bonds, life as a divorcee, education or lack of interest in it but still living with dignity while loving what you do.

I also felt an emotional connect, a bond with the characters. I liked the kids and how positively, endearingly they're described. I liked how friendships are described, I also liked even for characters that largely play a negative role, they're not completely evil. They're mostly three dimensional, as are the more positive characters. The protagonist struggles with her kindness and being righteous and role model for her nephews. She struggles with guilt and survivorship bias about her brother's loss. She also struggles against feeling inferior by her mother's taunts or her constant comparison with her famous niece.

I take notes and save the best quotes and passages that I really liked. This one had one of the highest notes from any book I've read this year. It's astonishing how much it teaches you to be a better person, to behave better, to be more considerate and to show better judgement in every day dealing with people.

This is much more meaningful romantic book than other romantic books I've ever read but honestly I didn't care much about the romance. Romance was not the main plot point of this book for me, even if title hinting at it. Her considerate, compassion, her life and struggle as a proud single parent, her coping with her loss and unresolved issues with her mother - these mattered more to me. The couple's friendship and how it blossomed was also great. But transition from friendship to romance - I didn't care much. I actually really disliked it. Let me explain -

One of the major complaints I had with this book and that I think was outright wrong and was made to be acceptable was (view spoiler)

After that when it was said the man being a "Man of Honor" and stuff were less palatable to me. It seemed tasteless. And the second time too she'd only consented for the kiss, when he'd said "I'm going to kiss you" and she'd nodded. But him putting hands inside her inner wear and doing things didn't seem correct to me. You just have to ask! This is not like asking someone out. Lol. I don't see why there should be any fear or consideration in consent. It may be possible that after a point it's made acceptable by both partners and consent is considered "unromantic" by them. But you don't just go and put your hands in someone's panties. This should not be acceptable.

If you really love and respect someone, you care about their physical space as well as mental space. Consent is really simple to ask. And if you cared about their mental well being, you'd never want to possibly scar them because you couldn't control your passion. This stupid romantization of forced sexual passion should stop. What's striking is a female author who is so mature and considerate in all the different areas would write this and imply how romantic. I was disappointed.

It's a very heartfelt book even if not intending to be. And all that explicit sex, that could have been added intentionally towards the end. But honestly the language and graphic description seemed inconsistent with the rest of the book beforehand. This would have been much better without it. It seemed forcefully put and probably for people waiting for the climax of the "slow burn".

One hilarious biased thing I've found in the adult romantic books I've read so far is - and they were all written by female authors - they describe man's genitals in most explicit of details. (view spoiler) while female genitals are described in confusing terms most popular being (view spoiler) In one of these romantic books, the shittiest I've ever read, I'd no idea what the author meant by "sex" first hundred pages or so till it didn't make sense at all with the word sex as gender or activity so I looked up. And in this book female genital is referred as (view spoiler) Seriously? Again I was clueless and had to um pause and reflect, what could it mean.

I don't know why this is the case? Perhaps because the intended audience is largely women? And there's not much um female friendly stuff? So the males are hyper sexualized and objectified? Always the protagonist has effortless six pack abs and um well endowed other features. heh. It's obviously not right, that since in most media women are objectified and sexualized so the men should be in the ones which are women centric. But I don't know, OK. There are people who read it and there's stuff for them. But a book that cares so much about righteousness could be written differently. There was another sexual bias but I'd omit it as that'd be too explicit for my review. Though I'd mention in the one prolonged scene, the man had considered and had prioritized his partner's pleasure. I liked that. I like art where women are not shown as objects for man's gratification but as people with equal right to pleasure.

So I'm still looking for a romantic book that shows romance and love making with as much mutual love, adoration, respect and care for each other as couples are shown to express these in other situations. Fingers crossed.

All in all, I know the intended audience is supposed to be adult but if all that explicit sex could be toned down, a lot more people could read it and I really-really think more people should read this book.

This was a really great book except the 2-3 points about consent and physical intimacy I didn't like. Also I complain perhaps a bit harshly, because it'd have been ok in other books but it didn't seem correct in such a well-thought book.

I'd actually recommend it to people when they tell me there are not heartfelt, relatable books that make you a better person. This one really does. I'm still so much in awe of it, that I'd probably write a mail to Ms. Zapata. I've already followed her on Facebook.
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Reading Progress

April 9, 2019 – Started Reading
April 9, 2019 – Shelved
April 15, 2019 – Shelved as: fiction
April 15, 2019 – Shelved as: kindness
April 15, 2019 – Shelved as: surprisingly-good
April 15, 2019 – Shelved as: 2019-final-reading-list
April 15, 2019 – Shelved as: favorites
April 15, 2019 – Finished Reading

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