Siv's Reviews > Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
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really liked it
bookshelves: memoir

This book reads like a novel and cut me to the quick. So much insight! Since I read carefully and took notes, I don't need to see a therapist anymore (hah! We ALL need to see a therapist...).

“...change and loss travel together” (6)

“You’re going to have to feel pain--everyone feels pain at times--but you don’t have to suffer so much. You’re not choosing the pain, but you’re choosing the suffering” (62)
“...if I’m clinging to the suffering so tightly, I must be getting something out of it. It must be serving some purpose for me” (63)

“Don’t judge your feelings; notice them. Use them as your map. Don’t be afraid of the truth” (65)

“When the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it. And having the future taken away is the mother of all plot twists. But if we spend the present trying to fix the past or control the future, we remain stuck in place, in perpetual regret…. But if I live in the present, I’ll have to accept the loss of my future.
“Can I sit through the pain, or do I want to suffer?” (66-67)

“Anger is the go-to feeling for most people because it’s outward-directed--angrily blaming others can feel deliciously sanctimonious. But often it’s only the tip of the iceberg, and if you look beneath the surface, you’ll glimpse submerged feelings you either weren’t aware of or didn’t want to show: fear, helplessness, envy, loneliness, insecurity. And if you can tolerate these deeper feelings long enough to understand them and listen to what they’re telling you, you’ll not only manage your anger in more productive ways, you also won’t be so angry all the time” (145)

“...freedom involves responsibility, and there’s a part of most of us that finds responsibility frightening” (153)

“Follow your envy--it shows you what you want” (157)

“Some people hope that therapy will help them find a way to be heard by whoever they feel wronged them, at which point those lovers or relatives will see the light and become the people they’d wished for all along. But it rarely happens like that. At some point, being a fulfilled adult means taking responsibility for the course of your own life and accepting the fact that now you’re in charge of your choices. You have to move to the front seat…” (333)

“There’s no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn’t be ranked, because pain is not a contest” (336)

“‘The nature of life is change and the nature of people is to resist change’” --Lori’s therapist (369)

“...we talk to ourselves more than we’ll talk to any other person over the course of our lives but that our words aren’t always kind or true or helpful--or even respectful. Most of what we say to ourselves we’d never say to people we love or care about, like our friends or children….pay close attention to those voices in our heads so that we can learn a better way to communicate with otherselves” (404-405)

“Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and experience something before its meaning becomes apparent” (407)

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Reading Progress

April 8, 2019 – Shelved
April 8, 2019 – Shelved as: to-read
Started Reading
July 4, 2019 – Finished Reading
July 15, 2019 – Shelved as: memoir

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