Deyth Banger's Reviews > When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? by George Carlin
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it was amazing
bookshelves: comedy, audiobooks

"December 4, 2019 –
100.0% "I like the way it ends!
...
Great Advice
Saying truth about truth"
December 4, 2019 –
100.0%
December 4, 2019 –
90.0% "7:01:55"
December 3, 2019 – page 208
70.51%
December 3, 2019 – page 188
63.73% "George Carlin is killing it... great thoughts... great advice... I always enjoys works like this one."
December 3, 2019 – page 188
63.73% "6:25:11"
December 3, 2019 – page 188
63.73% "5:35:00"
November 29, 2019 – page 188
63.73%
November 29, 2019 – page 164
55.59% "5:33:00"
November 29, 2019 – Shelved as: audiobooks
November 29, 2019 – page 164
55.59% "Great book... great story... I am right now surfing on the audiobook."
November 29, 2019 – page 164
55.59% "5:15:40"
November 29, 2019 –
60.0% "I have checked out all his comedy specials and looking forward for any extra materials!"
November 29, 2019 –
60.0% "It's a great story... what the world needs it's more people like George Carlin... fun story... and I am totally glad that I have chance to be around this work."
November 29, 2019 –
60.0% "4:46:16"
November 26, 2019 –
50.0% "4:14:00"
November 22, 2019 –
35.0% "3:12:00"
November 22, 2019 –
35.0%
November 14, 2019 –
15.0%
November 14, 2019 – 0.0% "Moving on guys
1:25:00"
April 9, 2019 – Shelved as: comedy
April 9, 2019 – page 25
8.47%
April 7, 2019 – page 17
5.76%
April 7, 2019 – page 17
5.76% "Some of the stories have been heard on comedy specials... but still George Carlin is not a typical comedian here is more than that..."
April 7, 2019 – Shelved
April 7, 2019 – Started Reading"
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Quotes Deyth Liked

George Carlin
“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“The worst thing about e-mail is that you can’t interrupt the other person. You have to read the whole thing and then e-mail them back, pointing out all their mistakes and faulty assumptions. It’s frustrating and it’s time-consuming. God bless phone calls.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“Sore loser? You bet your fuckin' ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously-that's for chumps. And losers, by the way.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“Whenever you hear the phrase zero tolerance, remember, someone is bullshitting you.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“Females create life, males end it. War, crime, violence, are primarily male franchises. Man shit. It’s nature’s supreme joke.
Deep in the womb, men start out as the good thing, and wind up as the crappy thing. Not all men. Just enough. Just enough to fuck things up.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“And if they tell you you’re not a team player, just congratulate them on being so observant.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“If you had yourself cloned, who exactly, would be your parents? Can you raise yourself? I guess so. And it might be fun. Just think, by the age of six you'd be driving yourself to school.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“I finally figured out what e-mail is for. It’s for communicating with people you’d rather not talk to.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“My advice: just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the
existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far
more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped
and filmed and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over the
world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced
military and civilian radar operators.>>”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“Cigarette companies market heavily to young people. They need young customers because their product kills the older ones. It is the only product that, if used as intended, kills the consumer.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“The term faith-based is nothing more than an attempt to slip religion past you when you’re not thinking; which is the way religion is always slipped past you. It deprives you of choice; choice being another word the political-speech manipulators find extremely useful.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“Unbelievably, a goldfish can kill a gorilla. However, it does require a substantial element of surprise.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“Hello. We’re the ones who control your lives. We make the decisions that affect all of you. Isn’t it interesting to know that those who run your lives would have the nerve to tell you about it in this manner? Suffer, you fools. We know everything you do, and we know where you go. What do you think the cameras are for? And the global-positioning satellites? And the Social Security numbers? You belong to us. And it can’t be changed. Sign your petitions, walk your picket lines, bring your lawsuits, cast your votes, and write those stupid letters to whomever you please; you won’t change a thing. Because we control your lives. And we have plans for you. Go back to sleep. THEY”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“I think we need some new Christmas carols with a more modern approach. Of course, I wouldn’t abandon the religious theme completely. How about “Holy Christ, the Christmas Tree’s on Fire”? Or “Jesus, can you Believe It’s Christmas Again?” This ought to get the ball rolling; I’m hoping you people will take it from here.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“Whenever I hear about parents who have nine or ten children, the only thing I wonder is how they survive the birthday parties.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped and filmed—and, by the way, unexplained—sightings from all over the world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced military and civilian radar operators.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“Most people have very little control over what sort of day they’re going to have. For instance, when one person says, “Have a nice day,” the other may well be thinking, “I’ve just been diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and I’m also coughing up thick black stuff.” In this case the well-wisher’s words will fall on deaf ears.”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?


Reading Progress

April 7, 2019 – Started Reading
April 7, 2019 – Shelved
April 7, 2019 –
page 17
5.76% "Some of the stories have been heard on comedy specials... but still George Carlin is not a typical comedian here is more than that..."
April 7, 2019 –
page 17
5.76%
April 9, 2019 –
page 25
8.47%
April 9, 2019 – Shelved as: comedy
November 14, 2019 – 0.0% "Moving on guys
1:25:00"
November 14, 2019 –
15.0%
November 22, 2019 –
35.0%
November 22, 2019 –
35.0% "3:12:00"
November 26, 2019 –
50.0% "4:14:00"
November 29, 2019 –
60.0% "4:46:16"
November 29, 2019 –
60.0% "It's a great story... what the world needs it's more people like George Carlin... fun story... and I am totally glad that I have chance to be around this work."
November 29, 2019 –
60.0% "I have checked out all his comedy specials and looking forward for any extra materials!"
November 29, 2019 –
page 164
55.59% "5:15:40"
November 29, 2019 –
page 164
55.59% "Great book... great story... I am right now surfing on the audiobook."
November 29, 2019 – Shelved as: audiobooks
November 29, 2019 –
page 164
55.59% "5:33:00"
November 29, 2019 –
page 188
63.73%
December 3, 2019 –
page 188
63.73% "5:35:00"
December 3, 2019 –
page 188
63.73% "6:25:11"
December 3, 2019 –
page 188
63.73% "George Carlin is killing it... great thoughts... great advice... I always enjoys works like this one."
December 3, 2019 –
page 208
70.51%
December 4, 2019 –
90.0% "7:01:55"
December 4, 2019 –
100.0%
December 4, 2019 –
100.0% "I like the way it ends!
...
Great Advice
Saying truth about truth"
December 4, 2019 – Finished Reading

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