M's Reviews > Backdraft

Backdraft by Cole McCade
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it was amazing
bookshelves: all-time-favorites, bi-rep-my-rep, contemporary, crime-and-suspense, m-m, q

Knowing that we would hit choppier waters and that tensions would rise while we head towards the season finale did nothing to emotionally prepare me for this episode. It was… tender. Tender is a good word. But then I always feel so much gentleness and tenderness towards both Mal and Seong-Jae, because watching their bond getting stronger and more threatened at the same time always feels like I’m rolling over for the book and exposing my vulnerable underbelly. And when the boys hit me with the hard stuff it hurts exactly there. But in the best way possible.

The case was an incredibly well done mystery that didn’t really focus on finding out why somebody killed whom, not at the heart of things. It was an episode pulling one hell of a punch in other areas. Loyalty, the brotherhood in blue, the almost cult-like behavior you sometimes see and can’t understand as an outsider - regarding the American police or any law enforcement worldwide in general. Mal and Seong-Jae don't even have to make a decision, the people they are and who they want to be force their hand as soon as they get assigned to the case. But the struggle is still there. To find the right way, maneuver through the political mess, look at the clues from an objective perspective (with their astounding eye for detail they have). I enjoyed and dreaded the outcome of the case in equal parts, not because I wanted them to act differently, but because I was scared of the consequences. But the book hit the perfect notes for me, the perfect stops on the way to solving the mystery and clean up the messes.

And all the while pulling me deeper down the rabbit hole of their complex relationship that is so full of love and understanding, but also secrets and miscommunication and incredible pain. Not all of it bad or good, not all of it even completely related to each other, and yet… When they feel like breaking, I feel like breaking. And when they weep, openly or in secret, I start crying too. I am invested in their story in a way I haven’t been in years, and no matter who’s point of view we got - theirs, somebody else’s - I kept feeling my way through this book, hitting all the high notes and all the lowest lows in the best possible way.

And the ending absolutely assured that I didn’t move even an inch before diving right into the next episode. I cannot stop spending time with these boys and loving them deeply.
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Reading Progress

March 14, 2019 – Shelved
March 14, 2019 – Shelved as: to-read
June 15, 2019 – Started Reading
July 16, 2019 – Shelved as: crime-and-suspense
July 16, 2019 – Shelved as: bi-rep-my-rep
July 16, 2019 – Shelved as: contemporary
July 16, 2019 – Shelved as: all-time-favorites
July 16, 2019 – Shelved as: m-m
July 16, 2019 – Shelved as: q
July 16, 2019 – Finished Reading

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