I appreciate the Hauerwasian influence that frames sex as an semi-public act done in community, but Hauerwas has a winsome personality and can sell that vision as exciting. Winner, on the other hand, is lecturing me about dressing up for church ("It's God.. that the people are coming for, and helping them dress appropriately may be part of preparing them to meet Him") and claiming that frat houses have swapped porn for the Victoria's Secret catalog ("a rag that actually leaves quite little a secret"). How weirdly out of touch, how weirdly reminiscent of Peggy Noonan. If you've got the itch to have some sex, Winner advises you to go ahead and get married ASAP, which sounds like the recipe for a nightmare marriage as well as a shamefully legalistic construction of Christian sexual ethics. Her personality on the page does not make me rush to follow her, and her vision of a richer life feels theoretical and bloodless.

Winner wants to work up a statement that is both realistic about human nature and faithful to Christian tradition, but she winds up with predictable preoccupations. She says much of the same stuff you'd hear from a Southern Baptist youth pastor (don't touch your boyfriend in any way that you wouldn't do in a public space!) even as she realizes that it needs to be oriented toward a higher goal than personal piety.

My guess is that this book will be satisfying for ex-youth group kids who walk the straight and narrow with ease. To them, it might feel like encouragement. If you need bold engagement with the trickier aspects of sexual ethics, however, skip this one.