Wealhtheow's Reviews > In Dreams

In Dreams by J. Sterling
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Jan 19, 2012

did not like it
bookshelves: paranormal_romance, ya
Read on January 19, 2012

Katherine Johns has shiny straight hair, adorable freckles on her nose, and strangely intense dreams. Even though she only just started college, she's already attracted the attention of the most sought-after man at school, hockey-star Cooper Donovon. But how can she concentrate on him when she's dreaming of her soul-mate?

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Putting aside the huge problem that the plot itself is completely unrealistic, the characters and writing don't help. The tense shifts every few sentences, sometimes the POV switches within a single paragraph. Grammar errors run rampant. The dialog is like someone taped 400 hours of CW programming and then selected the most boring, meaningless sentences possible and strung them together. The characters are too bland to even count as stereotypes. They're all handsome and nice; if they're a man, they're also muscled and good at hockey. That's the extent of their characterization. The weirdest throwback tropes are in here, too: there's an Italian restauranteur who speaks-ah like-ah this-ah, each of the characters' mothers are described as being in the kitchen (followed by the maddening phrase "of course") and half a chapter is devoted to telling us that picnics are not manly and that men should be manly and therefore not like picnics. (I have no idea where the author got that particular idea.) It is, overall, the most boring, bland, and just plain bad book that I've read in months.
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Reading Progress

01/19/2012 page 10
4.31% "'Dominic saw them and his eyes lit up. He hustled right over to them, greeting them with his usual flair and spoke in his accented English which the girls had grown to adore. "You two are here-ah with the boys in the corner, si? They look-ah like perfecto gentlemen."' I am dying. DYING."
01/19/2012 page 12
5.17% ""The guys took care of the bill. They were after all, perfect gentlemen." My god, why hast thou forsaken me?"
01/19/2012 page 15
6.47% ""'If I see so much as the hint of a picnic basket, I'm outta here," Taylor informed the guys. [Cooper objects], he wanted to show off his romantic side, but not at the cose of coming off like a wimp. Katherine was relieved to hear this. She liked sweetness in guys, but being manly was very important to her. Her father was manly." I can't even break down all the shit that's wrong with this. Is this satire?"
01/19/2012 page 16
6.9% "[At the end of a several page, un-broken paragraph of Katherine babbling about her dreams.] "And what the hell is going on? It's weird right? Am I making it all up? Is this crazy? Oh good lord, what is happening to me???" Oh triple punctuation, I'm so glad to see you in all your subtle and sophisticated glory."
01/19/2012 page 20
8.62% "Cooper Donovon is so awesome at hockey. How awesome is he? Here's the author telling us: "He made goals, assisted with goals and led his team to victory." Well then! He both made goals AND assisted with goals? What a man. I love that it reads like a poorly-written resume."
01/19/2012 page 22
9.48% "[having just met Taylor's father, with him standing right there, 18yr old Katherine says] "You never told me your dad was so hot. Why you holding out on me?"

Not at all deeply awkward and troubling!"
01/19/2012 page 25
10.78% "[Taylor's dead brother visits Katherine in her dreams. He shows her his death&funeral, and she wakes up crying.] '"What did my brother do now?" [Taylor] joked. "He took me to the scene of his accident," Katherine choked out the words. "He did what? Way to go, Austen. You really know how to romance a girl...What'd he do that for? Is he trying to depress you?"'" 1 comment
06/12/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-13 of 13) (13 new)

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Joshua Nomen-Mutatio if they're a man, they're also muscled and good at hockey.

But-ah that's-ah because-ah it's-ah true-ah!


Wealhtheow With prose like that, you too could have a published novel!

The hockey thing was so...unexpected and weirdly specific, in a book that was otherwise utterly bland and constructed from the most obvious, expected elements of white-bread American fiction.


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio It sounds painful. The only thing to do with books like these is trash them entertainingly on Goodreads. It's like a mercy killing.


message 4: by Wealhtheow (last edited Jan 19, 2012 12:43PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Wealhtheow Plus, I must stand strong against the book's assertion that picnics are wimpy. Let this review stand testament to my belief that picnics are super-manly indeed! In fact, I personally am too feminine and delicate to survive a picnic. Just think of the harsh sun, beating down upon one's fragile flesh! The potential for insects or small birds or mammals to approach one! And the very prospect of only having a simple blanket between me and the unyielding ground makes me faint!


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio That comment is roughly 70 billion times better than this book.


message 6: by J. (new) - added it

J. Sterling Holy crap.. LOL.. I know you hated my book and i'm probably not supposed to comment here, but this thread seriously made me laugh out loud.
Thanks for your honest review.
-jenn


Wealhtheow Wow, Jenn, that is a far nicer reponse than I could ever have expected! Thanks for being such a good sport!


message 8: by J. (new) - added it

J. Sterling What can I say- I appreciate good sarcasm. :)

And just so you know, my book is currently being edited (again). Don't worry, it will still be the most boring, bland and just plain bad book you've read in months- but it will have significantly better grammar and consistant tense usage (thanks in part to your review). LOL


Wealhtheow I think I'm just the wrong audience for this particular series--I can easily see what other people would like about it, but it's just not what I look for. But despite not really liking teenaged paranormal romance, I still read the entire thing, so it clearly hooked me a bit!


message 10: by J. (new) - added it

J. Sterling It was my wacky shifting viewpoints and screwed up grammar that kept you on the edge of your seat! Yeah, I did all that on purpose! lol
Seriously though, I appreciate you pointing out some of the stuff you did in your review because I had no freaking idea about some of it. I write with too much emotion and too little brain. (that and I clearly needed a new editor)
OMG really, i'm shutting up on your page now. Thanks for making me laugh and stuff. :)


Wealhtheow Best wishes with your next book!


message 12: by Hyun (new) - rated it 1 star

Hyun LI It was a stupid book, why dont you burn it and give up writing..The book was totally bullshit


Wealhtheow woah, Hyun. that seems like an over the top reaction. I didn't like it either, but I'd never tell someone to stop writing... especially when the author has been frankly very gracious about her bad reviews.


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