Nenia ⭐ Literary Garbage Can ⭐ Campbell's Reviews > Ascension

Ascension by Caris Roane
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DNF @ p. 69 (tee-hee)



Cut to a woman sitting alone in a darkened room with a glass of wine. There is a book on the table before her. The book is on fire. She is laughing. She is crying. Despair is everywhere.



What even is this book? Oh my God, it sounded amazing. A hero with supernatural powers? An angel-vampire hero? Um, yes. Yes, yes, and yes. It sounded as fanfictiony as all get-out. Let me plop a quarter in my "mentioned Quizilla in a review again" jar and tell you about this fic I used to read called "Would an Angel, a Demon, or a Vampire Fall for You?" by user: icemakesyoumelt. This book was about a human girl ("you") who was courted, harem anime style, by three guys who all wanted her because, well, because! Anyway, then Satan came to destroy the earth and spoil the fun (except JK, because Satan was hot too, and was even a chaotic evil love interest for those of you into that sort of thing), and you got to fill out survey questions throughout the fic to find out who you would end up with at the end of each chapter.



But no, ASCENSION was all kinds of bad. The heroine was so backwards, she made Bella Swan look like a women's studies professor at a liberal arts college. The whole beginning of the book consists of her 1) being a jealous bitch to her sister for having a husband and being pregnant, to the point where she's fighting back angry tears and acting curt instead of congratulatory because 2) despite having a good job and a decent life and being attractive and privileged AF life is meaningless if you're alone and your womb is empty boo-hoo-hoo, and 3) the last guy she was with, she apparently went Rogue on, X-Men style, on account of the superpowers she also isn't interested in/grateful for.



I'm sorry, but WHAT on a bun is that? Are you kidding me? I'm supposed to root for this bitch?



Uh-uh.



I was initially excited because a therapist heroine who is tall (6'0"!) was exciting for me, a tall women with a psychology background, but the emotional whingeing and the whole Black Dagger Brotherhood vibe this book was projecting really didn't work for me, multiverse theory or no.



1 star
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Reading Progress

December 28, 2018 – Started Reading
December 28, 2018 – Shelved
December 28, 2018 – Shelved as: pnr-uf
December 28, 2018 – Shelved as: kissing-books
December 28, 2018 – Shelved as: harder-to-get-thru-than-labyrinth
December 28, 2018 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-11 of 11 (11 new)

dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Monique (new)

Monique Read your review, and I agree with the whole 'woe is me' mess, coming from someone who has an overall great life. I'm like, bitch please...


message 2: by Felicia (new)

Felicia Ruh roh 😕


Nenia ⭐ Literary Garbage Can ⭐ Campbell Monique wrote: "Read your review, and I agree with the whole 'woe is me' mess, coming from someone who has an overall great life. I'm like, bitch please..."

I get that people with depression might have great lives and still feel inadequate but this felt like "life sucks unless you have the D," and as a feminist I am in no way on board with that fuquery.


Nenia ⭐ Literary Garbage Can ⭐ Campbell Felicia wrote: "Ruh roh 😕"

Others may feel differently!


message 5: by Iset (new)

Iset *subtly Googles "Would an Angel, a Demon, or a Vampire Fall for You?"*


Nenia ⭐ Literary Garbage Can ⭐ Campbell Iset wrote: "*subtly Googles "Would an Angel, a Demon, or a Vampire Fall for You?"*"

YES


Anna From Gustine That cover doesn't work for me. Looks....odd.


Nenia ⭐ Literary Garbage Can ⭐ Campbell Anna wrote: "That cover doesn't work for me. Looks....odd."

I know, it's SO cheesy haha


message 9: by Bobbi (new)

Bobbi Jo Having the D is nice, though. 😂


Nenia ⭐ Literary Garbage Can ⭐ Campbell Bobbi wrote: "Having the D is nice, though. 😂"

XD


message 11: by Monique (new)

Monique Bobbi wrote: "Having the D is nice, though. 😂"

Having the D under my complete dominance and control...sure.


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