Rebecca McNutt's Reviews > The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality

The Invisible Orientation by Julie Sondra Decker
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really liked it
bookshelves: non-fiction, science, glbt, asexual

The Invisible Orientation is an important book. While I can see how it's targeted towards asexual people, the audience it's perhaps best for are people who either don't understand asexuality or who are opposed to the idea of it. People often mix it up with misconceptions including that it's a form of celibacy (it's not, celibacy is a choice), that it's just people being prudish (it's not) or that asexual people have some sort of mental disorder. I find this double standard disgusting. In the #MeToo era where the movement to end sexual violence is being promoted and people worldwide are standing up to say "no means no", it's always ironic how quickly that attitude changes to "they're either mentally ill or making it up for attention" when a person professes to be asexual. "They don't really know what they want."

That's why a book like this matters so much. In our society which is so obsessed with sex, asexual people are the odd ones out, but that's not a bad thing. Like many things, it's really not weird or special, and once people learn about what it actually means there's a chance for more acceptance and understanding. The Invisible Orientation also doesn't talk down to people who have sex or who are of other orientations, but instead brings up what it's like to live with expectations placed upon you which you either don't care about or are repulsed by. Dissolving stereotypes such as that asexual people don't still have romantic relationships or friendships, that asexuality is a disorder and that asexual people are just religiously repressed, this is a book which will probably bother some readers, but definitely enlighten and inspire others so they'll know they're not the only ones.
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Reading Progress

December 10, 2018 – Shelved
December 10, 2018 – Shelved as: non-fiction
December 10, 2018 – Shelved as: science
December 10, 2018 – Shelved as: glbt
December 10, 2018 – Shelved as: asexual
Started Reading
December 11, 2018 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-6 of 6 (6 new)

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message 1: by Graeme (new)

Graeme Rodaughan Well said


message 2: by Lucy (new)

Lucy Langford A brilliant and insightful review 😊


message 3: by Mike (new)

Mike Siedschlag Sadly, society seems to be embracing the idea that if a person has a different lifestyle/belief/morality than they do, it is okay to vilify/insult/humiliate/abuse them. It is good to know there are sensible and intelligent people who demonstrate that their life is as valid and fulfilling as any. Hats off to this author and this reviewer for presenting a non-threatening, cogent discussion of a much misunderstood topic.


Rebecca McNutt Graeme wrote: "Well said"

thank you :)


Rebecca McNutt Lucy wrote: "A brilliant and insightful review 😊"

thanks :)


Rebecca McNutt Mike wrote: "Sadly, society seems to be embracing the idea that if a person has a different lifestyle/belief/morality than they do, it is okay to vilify/insult/humiliate/abuse them. It is good to know there are..."

Thanks. I was also glad to come across this book; I think the more people understand something the less they'll hate it or think it's some affront to themselves. Unfortunately people get judged for all sorts of things but at least not everybody is like that.


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