C.G. Drews's Reviews > Noah Can't Even

Noah Can't Even by Simon James Green
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bookshelves: contemporary, read-2018, young-adult, ya-male-narrators

Noah can't even, but I can't even even more out of sheer disgust. Look I decided not to write negative reviews anymore, but some books horrify me to a level that I feel the need to quietly say something. 😳

✧ it's written like middle-grade (the characters feel 10 to 12 years old + there's toilet humour + lots of "omg I can't BELIEVE YOU'VE DONE THIS" sorts of styles. Yes. All caps, emphasis on every second word, and lots of "embarrassing" situations like wetting your pants.)
✧ but no, it's YA, because every page mentions sex and they say fuck. The tone isn't just confusing, it's ridiculous? Is this satire and I missed something?
✧ it's one of those narratives where the protagonist is a homophobic asshole but that's "because he's gay." Wow if that's not problematic on its own and not unpacked properly.
✧ there's a near-rape scene...but it's a girl to a boy, so that's funny apparently. (It's very not.)
✧ there's a difference between a "sex positive" book and something that's crude (the boys can't even say "sex", they have to say "bow chika wow wow". Explain to me how they're 16 instead of 12.)
✧ Noah isn't cutely awkward. He's ridiculous, not to mention selfish and self absorbed, and the book was just so far into this hyperbolic satire style that I'm done. I'm so done.
✧ And I didn't even mention that every female is either sex-obsessed or treated like a sex object. No really, a girl looks at Noah and he's like "omg I don't have a condom but she wants sex with me".

Yeah I'm leaving.
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Reading Progress

October 26, 2018 – Started Reading
October 26, 2018 – Shelved
October 26, 2018 – Shelved as: contemporary
October 26, 2018 – Shelved as: read-2018
October 26, 2018 – Shelved as: young-adult
October 26, 2018 – Shelved as: ya-male-narrators
October 26, 2018 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-10 of 10 (10 new)

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Meredith (booksbythewater) yeesh, this sounds problematic😬 great review though!!

Teddy Elizabeth Oh yikes, good to know I should take this off my tbr!!

message 3: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca McNutt Sounds pretty vulgar and childish, which is too bad because it's usually a good thing to see more LGBT characters in young adult fiction. Maybe the author has a certain brand of humor that will only appeal to a certain crowd, but the treatment of girls in the book as sex-obsessed and a near-rape scene, that sounds troubling, to say the least.

message 4: by Ramona (new)

Ramona Please don’t edit yourself- we need reviews like this one! Thank you for warning us. There are far too many good books for every type of reader to get caught up in garbage like this.

message 5: by C.G. (new) - added it

C.G. Drews @Meredith: Thank you! I was really disturbed.😬

@Teddy Elizabeth: I don't often solidly un-recommend books...but I honestly found this so worrying.

message 6: by C.G. (new) - added it

C.G. Drews @Rebecca: Yes exactly, right?! And lgbtqia+ characters aimed at younger YA is very important too...also coming out and discovering your identity are all good dialogues to have. But it just was so messed up with the tone and the premise. Although I do agree it's a certain brand of humour and I'm sure some people like it...😳And there will never be a day where I find a near-reap scene "comedic" ugh.

message 7: by C.G. (new) - added it

C.G. Drews @Ramona: Aw haha thanks! I'm attempting to only talk about books I want to recommend these days! But this one was different to the "this isn't for me," and instead was the: "um this is seriously messed up". 🙈

message 8: by R.J. (new)

R.J. Rodda Thank you for the insightful review

message 9: by Simplekind (new) - added it

Simplekind Thank you for this review. I had put this book on my too read list not to long ago and was looking forward to reading it. After your review I will be moving it to my definitely not pile. Thank you for saving me my time!

message 10: by Brandy (new)

Brandy Lagerstrom I DNFed this because of the exact problems you had with this. I HATED Noah so much

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