Manny's Reviews > The Divine Comedy

The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri
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it was amazing
bookshelves: life-is-dante, donalds-are-trumps, parody-homage, science-fiction, transcendent-experiences, why-not-call-it-poetry
Read 3 times

I attempt to rewrite the Divine Comedy

In the middle of the journey of my life
I came across a man named Trump
Who seemed bent on causing much strife

O! how he was an unpleasant, fleshy lump!
Like some hobgoblin of the child's imagination
Or a thing that in the night goes bump.

But in spite of lengthy cogitation
I find I have produced fewer words
Than members of the crowd at an inauguration

I've doubtless disappointed the Dante nerds
And before long may well concede defeat
My plan, I admit, was strictly for the birds

Alas! Success will not these efforts greet
I am totally running out of steam
And will soon be mocked by some misspelled tweet

I had despaired. Then last night, in a dream
I heard a voice say, "Manny, just have some fun.
Go on, I tell you, it'll be a scream."

"Master," I said, "I think I'm not the one."
"Fear not," he answered. "All things will be well.
Recount the tale of Trump and Kim Jong-Un."

"But first," I asked, "What is the place in Hell
Reserved, I hear, for Justin Trudeau's soul
And what his punishment? I beg, please tell."

[To be continued when I find new inspiration. I am currently interviewing muses]
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Quotes Manny Liked

Dante Alighieri
“Noi siam venuti al loco ov'i' t'ho detto
che tu vedrai le genti dolorose
c'hanno perduto il ben de l'intelletto.

We to the place have come, where I have told thee
Thou shalt behold the people dolorous
Who have foregone the good of intellect.”
Dante Alighieri, La Divina Comedia

Reading Progress

Finished Reading
Started Reading (Paperback Edition)
Started Reading (Paperback Edition)
January 1, 1999 – Finished Reading (Paperback Edition)
January 1, 1999 – Finished Reading (Paperback Edition)
December 20, 2008 – Shelved (Paperback Edition)
December 20, 2008 – Shelved as: science-fiction (Paperback Edition)
October 12, 2009 – Shelved as: why-not-call-it-... (Paperback Edition)
April 23, 2011 – Shelved as: transcendent-exp... (Paperback Edition)
October 29, 2011 – Shelved (Paperback Edition)
October 29, 2011 – Shelved as: celebrity-death-... (Paperback Edition)
October 29, 2011 – Shelved as: science-fiction (Paperback Edition)
October 29, 2011 – Shelved as: transcendent-exp... (Paperback Edition)
October 29, 2011 – Shelved as: why-not-call-it-... (Paperback Edition)
November 29, 2011 – Shelved as: life-is-dante (Paperback Edition)
November 29, 2011 – Shelved as: life-is-dante (Paperback Edition)
May 26, 2018 – Shelved
May 26, 2018 – Shelved as: life-is-dante
May 26, 2018 – Shelved as: donalds-are-trumps
May 26, 2018 – Shelved as: parody-homage
May 26, 2018 – Shelved as: science-fiction
May 26, 2018 – Shelved as: transcendent-experiences
May 26, 2018 – Shelved as: why-not-call-it-poetry

Comments Showing 1-37 of 37 (37 new)

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Manny (Rescued from one of Matt's comment threads...)

message 2: by Matt (new) - added it

Matt Glad you rescued your fine piece of work before the whole GR site will go down the drain.

Have you noticed that book pages don't load completely anymore as of last night? First I thought they were playing the Godot game I started with my review. But now I think GR missed to replace a certificate that has now expired (is distrusted) with the latest versions of Chrome and Firefox. See discussion here:

Manny They are amazingly sloppy software engineers, aren't they? But this time I think they will fix the bug, it is just too flagrant...

message 4: by Matt (new) - added it

Matt I tend to agree. How they handle the <pre> bug is ridiculous. However, they seem to have fixed the book loading problem. According to Shaun (a Goodreads Expert) they "tweaked something". I just hope they didn't decided to drop some certificate altogether and left the site open for man-in-the-middle attacks or something.

message 5: by [deleted user] (new)

Here come Dolores, Trump currency amongst the overly useless and needy.

message 6: by Glenn (new)

Glenn Russell I can see DT with his Beatrice (Melania) guiding him to Paradiso where he finds all the saints and angels are Mexican.

Manny To me it seems more natural to caste Ivanka as Beatrice. But who is Virgil? Perhaps that should also be Trump, since he likes to say he is his own best adviser?

message 8: by Glenn (new)

Glenn Russell Sounds good to me, although I suspect many would give the Virgil nod to this guy.

Manny Another very fine casting choice! It's so hard to decide!

Manny I have been visited again by inspiration, and have added three verses.

Emma, I am not yet sure I wish to appoint you my Beatrice, but I will think about it. The fact that you claim to be an angel is certainly a point in your favour.

message 11: by Matt (new) - added it

Matt Manny wrote: "I have been visited again by inspiration, and have added three verses."

At first I though you left us with a cliff hanger by not answering the question in the last verse. But then I realized that that's the answer. To become a cliff hanger is the punishment for Trudeau's soul.

In other news: Maybe now is a good time to invest in North Korea beach hotels!

Manny I didn't mean to hang any cliffs. I'm just waiting for my muse to reappear. They're terribly unpredictable.

Manny And I hope the news about the PDRK beach hotels is part of a fair cultural exchange. I'm guessing that Kim will be invited to tender for running a few American prisons. From what I've heard, they're pretty good at that.

message 14: by Matt (last edited Jun 12, 2018 08:59AM) (new) - added it

Matt They already agreed on a joint detention center at Guantanamo:

Manny Some good reporting there. I see the lying MSM got it wrong again.

message 16: by Glenn (new)

Glenn Russell 굴 라크 군도 호텔

Manny Hey, snappy name Glenn! Better trademark that before someone else does.

message 18: by Elena (new) - added it

Elena Holmgren Manny, you just made me laugh so hard I almost coughed up my spleen. Yes, you did it again!

message 19: by Glenn (last edited Jun 12, 2018 09:24AM) (new)

Glenn Russell I was thinking of a snappy name for the joint detention center at Guantanamo - Gulag Archipelago Hotel in Korean seemed to fit, only I think Google translate garbled the translation into English.

Manny Aw, thank you Elena! But I'm giving 90% of the credit to Dante!

Manny Glen, I think Korean is having a little bit of trouble with the word "Gulag". "굴 라크" transliterates as "Gur-ra-g".

message 22: by Matt (new) - added it

Matt If I let GT translate from German "Gulag" I get "강제 수용소" which translates back to "Konzentrationslager" (concentration camp).

message 23: by Cecily (new)

Cecily Interviewing muses? LOL. But I hope there's no casting couch involved. It's not ending well for Harvey Weinstein.

Manny Cecily, how could you? Following my distinguished predecessor, I am only considering beautiful little girls whom I have chastely observed at a distance for a few minutes.

When we were at Basel Zoo last weekend, I was very hopeful for a moment. We were watching the rhinoceros being fed, and just in front of us was an angelic blonde five year old in a green dress, which she kept lifting up in order to scratch her bottom. I was sure that the scene had some deep allegorical significance and constituted a Sign. But no more verses have appeared since then, so I'm afraid it was a false alarm.

message 25: by P.E. (new)

P.E. 'O! how he was an unpleasant, fleshy lump!
Like some hobgoblin of the child's imagination
Or a thing that in the night goes bump.

Now I am all over the place xD

Fergus Wonderful, Manny. I am one of those Dante nerds but loved it. Can't wait to hear what our prime minister has coming to him, in your Commedia Satyricon Part II...

Manny Thank you, P.E. and Fergus. I am sorry that new verses have still failed to arrive. I told my girlfriend that I imperatively needed to find suitable inspiration, but before I could explain its essentially chaste nature she informed me that she was Not a-mused.

message 28: by P.E. (new)

P.E. Double pun for the win! X)

María Paz Greene F Manny, you're so cool!!! I love your reviews, they are so creative and make me laugh. Good luck on interviewing those muses

Manny Oh, thank you Maria! I know this sounds like a rather forward question, since we don't know each other well, but do you have any experience in being a muse? Your avatar looks promisingly allegorical, though I am not sure whether the monkey on your shoulder symbolises Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, or the general state of the world today.

If you were to take the job, I can assure you that your duties would be very light. Basically, you'd just have to turn up every now and then in my dreams, bearing messages of comfort and hope together with a few dozen new verses. You do not have to compose the verses, I understand that various celestial specialists take care of that for you. I am however legally obliged to warn you that if it works you will become unpleasantly stereotyped in the popular imagination, and played by a variety of actresses who look nothing like you and interpret your character in ways that will make you beg the other angels not to watch. So if you choose to decline, I totally understand.

message 31: by María (last edited Jul 04, 2018 12:59PM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

María Paz Greene F Oh! We muses are no angels, at all! That's why they don't let us do more than stepping randomly into peoples' dreams, and gossiping all our way in there. And an erratic and irresponsable nature ain't good for jobs. Besides those so-called celestial bosses spend all our money on rejuvenation process anyways!! You call it "eternity"... we call it "celestial influences".

Maybe you can find a real woman to do so. Like Beatriz! Real women ROCK. You can also find it within you and all that new age shit. 8-)

(Did I try too hard? Hahaha. Love your reviews!!).

Manny Hey María, you've almost got the blurb for a bestselling paranormal romance there already! Amazingly quick work. Can muses inspire themselves? (This sounds like a chapter heading to me).

Believe me, I have nothing against real women. I live with a real woman. I adore her. But a muse... well, I don't know why I'm telling you all this, but a muse has to be unattainable. She has to be on a higher plane. She has to cause the poet enough anguish that he can only heal the wound in his heart by writing 5000 verses of exquisitely rhymed terza rima, or a hundred odd sonnets, or something like that. I must admit I'm a little hazy about the exchange rates. She absolutely should not tell you to take out the organic waste and be quick about it because lunch is nearly ready. Muses don't refer to disposal of organic waste. It's not Poetic.

At least, I believe I read something similar in the flyer from Muses-R-Us that I was given in last night's dream. Unfortunately I woke up before I got to the toll-free phone number. You guys have to stop doing that. Unless it's part of the poetic anguish of course, in which case, please continue.

message 33: by María (last edited Jul 04, 2018 12:51PM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

María Paz Greene F Hahaha. Oh if it's any consolation I wish I had a muse myself :(, but a muse and Rosie (Jetsons, Robotina in Spanish) mix, as well. Then I could have all the time of the world to wander and wonder around the metaphysical and poetical stuff, and let her (or him!) do all the boring, mundane, ultimately disposable - but oh so neccesary - job. Ain't nobody got time for that! And muses are supposedly eternal, so.... case dismissed :)

Manny So muses have muses, and sometimes they are robotic! This PNR is going to be killer. I can see vampire stock prices going down as we speak.

message 35: by 郑嘉乐 (new)

郑嘉乐 Well said.

message 36: by Autumn Klimuszka (new)

Autumn Klimuszka I wish i was ableto read this but sadly i cant

Manny Autumn, I'm sorry that my divine inspiration is so slow arriving. God's like that.

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