Meghan's Reviews > The Secret Lives of Royals

The Secret Lives of Royals by Shalini Dua
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did not like it
bookshelves: arcs, netgalley, published-2018, chick-lit, read-2018, stars-1
Read 2 times. Last read May 28, 2018 to May 31, 2018.

Formal Review:

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. As always, thank you Netgalley.

I picked this up on Netgalley based on the description: Shopaholic meets Adjustment Bureau. Couple this with the royal wedding, and I was in the mood for some, light royalness. I had just finished The Heir and The Spare, so why not continue the trend?

I wanted to like this book, but based on the Acknowledgements, I don't think it has ran through an editor. And it needs one badly. This read like a not bad third draft, before it should go to an editor for review. At the very least, a copyeditor, as there are periods missing — I think even at one point at the end of a chapter. Also — the kindle addition has wordstogether every so often, which is jarring and hard to read and you never canquite get used toit.

First off, the book is written in present form — i.e. "I walk down the street and say hi to the mailman," rather than "I walked down the street and said hi to the mailman." This isn't a deal breaker for me, as long as I can get to the point where I don't recognize it. But the way this book flows is as if she's writing in her journal....but not....so it really shouldn't be in present tense, and thus is continuously awkward.

Second of all, I am tired of the trope of "woman starts job and no one tells her what she's doing because NYC jobs are above that." Look. I moved to the city two and a half years ago, to do a job that I was already doing for the same company I already worked for, and my boss:
*still walked me around to introduce me
* set me up with a desk and made sure I was connected to IT and who I needed to be
*took me to visit some of our brokers before making me go out on my own
*set up weekly meetings that we STILL do to this day.
Anyone I know who has walked into a job where there "is no training" has quit it fairly quickly or the company has gone under. NOT TO SAY THAT TRAINING HAS TO BE PERFECT, but god stop trying to be Devil Wears Prada people. The trope is tired.

Third, this book is written again like a third draft, where the author is still working out the dialogue. Most of it in here can use some work as it reads like twelve year olds are talking (the Main Character is 26), and other places there are just PARGRAPHS of info dump like:
"He gives me my newly assigned laptop and phone and shows me how to login and get my email from home. Then he says he has to go. And leaves me alone. I login and delete the auto-generated welcome message. I glance around. I look at my laptop. I walk down to the common room kitchen. I examine the snacked and the drinks selection. After much debate, I choose a yogurt and a blended juice. I walk back to my desk. I sit down. I open my yogurt and take a bite. I sigh. Loudly.

Just....I think I get what the author is trying to do, but because there is already so much info dumping before and a ton later, it just hurts. Again, not bad, just needs a good editor or a beta-reader who isn't afraid to be tough.

Gigi, our main character, turns out to be a secret Royal, a member of an elite and secret society that runs the world from behind the scenes. Not the Royals like the British, but even more intense. Cool premise! Except this means for most of the book, Gigi doesn't do her job and instead runs around the world shopping and partying — which would be fine, except that we are told that these dudes (three of them that have a crush on her) all like her writing. But we never see her write anything.

There is also apparently a prophecy of (view spoiler) This is, again cool, except that it isn't first mentioned until 67% of the way through the book — in passing at a party. And then the Main Character acts like it's actually the biggest deal and that she's been hearing about it the entire book and WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE PROPHECY?!

Except for 67% of the book, no one has.

Which brings me to my last issue with this book: there is a major time inconsistencies and lack of description of things that suddenly are important later:
*Gigi is the first American — except that we are never told that the other people who are members of this group that we have been introduced to are anything but American. One gets hinted at being Italian, and one might be British?
* Kings are called Your Majesty or My Lord. A Duke is Your Higness. These are used backwards.
*Chapter 16 ends at night and goes through Chapter 17 but then it's suddenly mid-afternoon in Chapter 17 without any mention of it being a new day as it goes into night and then is night again later. Again — this needs an editor or a beta reader that isn't afraid to point out inconsistencies.
*You cannot fly NYC to Italy, get out and shop for hours, fly back, all in literally one day and get back in mid-afternoon.
*The Main Character is the first American, yet "America's nobility is established through heirs to the existing Royal families." So is Gigi the first, or not?
*You've just met a guy who called you to take a job for the second time — he's taking you up to your job — and you are whining and asking for the tenth time if you can go upstairs??
*Your characters are supposed to be in their mid-20s to 30s(?) and yet they're acting like teenagers.

Overall, all the characters are just too flat to care about and the story meanders to a place of just a main character eating, drinking, and partying, but not even in a fun Gossip Girl kind of way.

Original Review:

I have a lot of thoughts on this book that I'll put together tonight or tomorrow, but I DO want to say that this has potential to be a good book with a few more drafts and lots of revisions. More to come later.
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Reading Progress

Finished Reading
May 9, 2018 – Shelved
May 9, 2018 – Shelved as: to-read
May 9, 2018 – Shelved as: arcs
May 9, 2018 – Shelved as: netgalley
May 9, 2018 – Shelved as: published-2018
May 9, 2018 – Shelved as: chick-lit
May 9, 2018 – Shelved as: next-up
May 27, 2018 –
7.0% "I don't think I can do this but let's see if I can get to 10% because y'all. This book is a mess."
May 28, 2018 – Started Reading
May 28, 2018 –
35.0% "I..... don't know why I am continuing to read this book."
May 28, 2018 –
51.0% "I can do this but man I have lots of thoughts"
May 31, 2018 –
72.0%
May 31, 2018 –
86.0% "I do not want to rip this book to shreds. But I also can't avoid it."
May 31, 2018 – Shelved as: read-2018
May 31, 2018 – Finished Reading
May 28, 2019 – Shelved as: stars-1

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