Joni's Reviews > Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic

Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
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's review
Oct 31, 2011

it was amazing
bookshelves: family-parenting, sociology, reading-group, purchase, 2012
Read from April 11 to May 08, 2012

I read this several years ago and remember it being a paradigm shifter for me. The main thing I took away from it is that we expect too much from our spouse, who is, after all, only one person. He/she cannot be our "best friend," confidant, protector, object of our frustration, safety net, and also passionate lover.

I am now going back to re-read because I've been reminded of it while I am reading "Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships."

In that book, the authors argue, with significant scientific evidence, that humans evolved to be promiscuous or polyamorous rather than monogamous. In other words, they demonstrate that we are more closely related and similar to bonobos than to gorillas or baboons, who are polygonous or monogamous.

"Sex at Dawn" pretty much poses the question: "Now what?"

I'm hoping that "Mating in Captivity" will have some applicable ideas that can help us make monogamy work better.

This also would be a very interesting book for a reading group!
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01/29/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-1 of 1) (1 new)

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message 1: by Eli (new) - rated it 5 stars

Eli Nunez You will love this book! It basically tells you that if you have the intention you will have a monogamous relationship... But you have to work hard to play hard :)

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