Anzu The Great Destroyer's Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James
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Oct 23, 2011

did not like it
bookshelves: nope, the-hate-it-burns, buddy-or-group-read, fat-kitty-judges-you, dafuq-did-i-just-read, is-it-just-me-goddammit, whiny-bitches, kill-it-with-fire, reviewed-2011, stabby-stabby, lust-at-first-sight, mary-sue, lit-for-the-chicks, romance-contemporary, well-arent-you-mister-popularity, facepalm, blame-the-darksiders
Recommended to Anzu by: Aly and Dee
Recommended for: people who are into torture, creeps and whiny bitches
Read from October 24 to 25, 2011

I didn’t want to start this book. Many people are praising it but I’m simply not into erotica, it’s too cheap for me. But here I am in the mind of the innocent waiting to be devoured by the big bad wolf. Sounds pornographic, doesn’t it? That’s because it is…




Christian Grey. A hot dude that melts a woman’s panties off with just one look. The perfect sex toy set out to conquer an innocent girl. Grey (the sick f*ck) is considered one of the hottest characters out there but he doesn’t get to me. His dominance is too much for me to handle and his attitude tends to be annoying and slimy. Plus he’s just wrong in the head so there’s no need to add more about this creep.



Anastasia is an immature insecure desperate idiot who wants to become the whore of Babylon. She just wants to listen to her inner goddess (wtf?!) and have creepy monkey sex with Grey. She has no personality nor will whatsoever, she gets excited over the smallest and most idiotic things you can imagine and even though she sees how wrong Grey (the sick f*ck) is, she still goes for it. She’s always mooning over Grey like he’s some kind of god that she’s supposed to worship. He tells her that he doesn’t want a serious relationship just sex and she’s still ok with it. Why? Just because he’s hot? He’s a damn disgusting pervert. He hurt her the first time they made love, she was a virgin for Christ’s sake (and I don’t buy the crap with it being perfect, surely she had vaginal cracks after that), and is treating her like a slave. Even though he’s a successful businessman and he’s rich and famous he still can be a psychopath. Just watch American Psycho and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Now to pick on one of my biggest problems regarding this book: THE CONTRACT. WTF may I ask? Signing paperwork in order to have sex with him? Is he a natural hazard or what? I get the whole Hey look at me I’m badass, I have my own company and helicopter gig ‘cause the guy is stinking rich but the contract??? Isn’t anyone getting angry with this?



I guess not...
“Why would I do that?”
“To please me”

Wtf?? All women want to please him? Why? ‘Cause he’s hot? He’s a perverted assh*le that’s what he is. He’s acting like he owns everyone! Aren’t you guys angry?


“I have rules, and I want you to comply with them. They are for your benefit and for my pleasure. If you follow these rules to my satisfaction, I shall reward you. If you don’t, I shall punish you, and you will learn,”

Learn this! *kicks him in the groin* Creep!
“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you.”

Heh *right eye twitches* exert my will *eye twitches again*

Aren’t you guys angry with this yet??







Question for all the people who gave this book great scores. If Grey wasn’t so hot would you still have given it such great ratings? I doubt you would. So this means that the reason why you love the book is mainly Christian Grey being hot and an uber alpha? Shallow much? Or maybe you’re into all the Christian Grey induced monkey sex and torture. Psycho much?

But who am I to judge.

This book is just a desperate woman’s sick fantasy to be treated like a sex slave. I’m sorry but it doesn’t work for me. I DNF’d this because I find it disgusting and degrading.

P.S. (I have to mention this because some people are too smart to get it) MY REVIEW IS STRICTLY RELATED TO FIFTY SHADES OF GREY AND NOT BDSM IN GENERAL. So take a chill pill and GTFO.
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Reading Progress

10/24/2011
20.0% "Must keep calm... Breathe Anzu, breathe... Grey your end is near..." 40 comments
10/25/2011
24.0% "DNF - RCS" 6 comments
01/29/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 151-200 of 529) (529 new)


message 151: by Lindy (new) - rated it 2 stars

Lindy OMG all I could picture in my head the whole time I was reading this was Christian Bale in American Psycho!


message 152: by Sarah (new) - rated it 4 stars

Sarah Dozor I actually am enjoying the story of this book. But I love ur review. It's hilarious . Thanks for the good laugh. I totally get ur point of view. :0)


message 153: by rameau (new) - added it

rameau Temmera wrote: "Clearly u r a fan of BDSM because that's all it is. In most if not all BDSM relationships this is how it is. Plus, who r u to judge what a person is into. Believe it or not there r a lot of women and men who like that kind of controlling nature in their man or woman. If u don't like don't read it. "

Excuse me what?! Troll warning everyone.


message 154: by Helen (last edited May 22, 2012 01:48AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Helen rameau wrote: "Temmera wrote: "Clearly u r a fan of BDSM because that's all it is. In most if not all BDSM relationships this is how it is. Plus, who r u to judge what a person is into. Believe it or not there r ..."

Yep, definitely a troll. And one who hasn't read the book even. I sure don't recall any BDSM lifestyle in it. Except mentions of one that is dismissed as "evil" and "not loving".

I read this review before. Why did I forget to like it? *rectifies*

I don't know about recommendations though. I think actual sexual sadists would scoff at this.


Brittany B. Anzu- I can't believe women are still fighting about this book on your review.

I have to say to the person who rebuked you for calling Christaina psycho- the character in the book absolutely demonstrates psychopathic/sociopathic tendencies. There's nothing sane about him.

And someone wrote that 50 Shades is well-written! Wtf!? Okay that has me curious what people are reading these days. 50 Shades is so poorly written. It might be addictive to some, but well-written is not a description I've Ever read associated with this book.

I can't believe people are still getting excited about the book. I wish I had never read it. The idea of it was so much better than the real thing.

Anzu: Your review is the best thing about the 50 Shades series.


message 156: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Brittany, I'm ignoring all the trolls who are wasting their time "commenting" on the review. Good for them for liking it, that's all I have to say. I'm actually bored of all this fighting and sick of seeing people calling this "book" great. Again, no words.

But thank you so much, you're very sweet ;)


Abhilasha love ur review...if i met a guy like christian grey (I have rules, and I want you to comply with them. They are for your benefit and for my pleasure. If you follow these rules to my satisfaction, I shall reward you. If you don’t, I shall punish you, and you will learn), i will kick him in the groin and with spiked high heels too... lol


Brittany B. You have 567 likes! Ive never paid attention to the count, but this makes you a mini GR celeb reviewer!

Lol.


message 159: by Mariya (new) - rated it 2 stars

Mariya That;s just how awesome this review is, Brittany! I love Anzu's reviews b/c she expresses her thoughts so well, especially with those lovely pictures! Those evil trolls can go shove it for all we care! :)


message 160: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Awww you girls make me blush *hugs*


message 161: by Emma (new) - rated it 1 star

Emma Scholes Such a funny/great review. Made me laugh.


 ♥♥Mari♥♥ Thank you for telling the TRUTH about this book. I can't believe it's so popular! I'm not into erotica, either. Erotica is all about DEGRADATION AND PERVERSION. It includes bondage, domination, and sado-masochism, not to mention threesomes. Besides, most of the time, it's the men who are dominant, although at times you will find them being submissive. Regardless of who is dominant, the whole thing is just SICK AND PERVERTED. I do enjoy sex in romance novels, just not this disgusting version of what should be a loving, romantic act, performed with someone you LOVE, and not for the purpose of getting your kicks at someone else's expense. I am very proud to say that I am NOT jumping on the bandwagon to read this crap. No, I am NOT attracted to this Christian Grey. AT ALL. And I can't believe that, in this post-feminist era, any woman with any degree of intelligence and instincts of self-preservation would be, either. Ana apparently has none of the above. What I can't understand is why there are soooo many women out there who are actually attracted to this sorry excuse for a 'romance novel'.


message 163: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer ♥♥Mari♥♥ wrote: "Thank you for telling the TRUTH about this book. I can't believe it's so popular! I'm not into erotica, either. Erotica is all about DEGRADATION AND PERVERSION. It includes bondage, domination, and..."

I agree with EVERYTHING in your comment. EVERYTHING. And now the book is getting even more popular and they are actually considering turning it into a movie. It sold a shitload of copies and James was listed as one of Time's "100 Most Influential People in the World". Amazing. Only one image can express my feelings right now.




 ♥♥Mari♥♥ Anzu wrote: " ♥♥Mari♥♥ wrote: "Thank you for telling the TRUTH about this book. I can't believe it's so popular! I'm not into erotica, either. Erotica is all about DEGRADATION AND PERVERSION. It includes bonda..."

Hey, thanks!! And as for not wanting to live on this planet, I heartily concur!!! Might I suggest Vulcan? Lol. (How I wish we could go live there...)


message 165: by Taryn (new)

Taryn I saw it in Barnes and Noble in the "bestsellers" section. Then went home and I looked at the enormously great books I have in my bookshelf that don't get second looks, and I was sad. Your review made me resolved never to read such garbage. Thanks. :)


 ♥♥Mari♥♥ Taryn wrote: "I saw it in Barnes and Noble in the "bestsellers" section. Then went home and I looked at the enormously great books I have in my bookshelf that don't get second looks, and I was sad. Your review m..."

I agree. I would be sad, too, since so many really great books are not given that much attention... I'm so glad you're one of those who won't read this disgusting crap!! : )


message 167: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer ♥♥Mari♥♥ wrote: "Anzu wrote: " ♥♥Mari♥♥ wrote: "Thank you for telling the TRUTH about this book. I can't believe it's so popular! I'm not into erotica, either. Erotica is all about DEGRADATION AND PERVERSION. It i..."

Yes, let's. Anywhere but this stinky place.

Taryn wrote: "I saw it in Barnes and Noble in the "bestsellers" section. Then went home and I looked at the enormously great books I have in my bookshelf that don't get second looks, and I was sad. Your review m..."

I totally understand. I'm in the same situation, trust me. And it's not nice. Shame on people for liking this junk.


Spider the Doof Warrior Ugh. They keep talking about this book on television shows. Makes me so MAD. Why does everyone LIKE something that seems so yeeky?


message 169: by ♥♥Mari♥♥ (last edited May 28, 2012 10:24AM) (new)

 ♥♥Mari♥♥ What I can't understand is how WOMEN can possibly want to read this book. Well, not all of us do, thank God. Some of us are actually sane. And normal. I mean, the things that go on in this book are the horrors we hear about on the news sometimes, with cases of women who have disappeared, only to reappear later on -- dead. When the investigation begins, it becomes clear that they were tortured before they died...

Women who actualy LIKE this book are just as sick as Christian Grey.


message 170: by Meishuu (new) - rated it 1 star

Meishuu ♥♥Mari♥♥ wrote: "Thank you for telling the TRUTH about this book. I can't believe it's so popular! I'm not into erotica, either. Erotica is all about DEGRADATION AND PERVERSION. It includes bondage, domination, and..."

Agree with this comment so much. It does worries me that so many women but into this excuse of "romance". Manipulative,controlling, jerkass men are not romantic.


 ♥♥Mari♥♥ Meishuu wrote: " ♥♥Mari♥♥ wrote: "Thank you for telling the TRUTH about this book. I can't believe it's so popular! I'm not into erotica, either. Erotica is all about DEGRADATION AND PERVERSION. It includes bonda..."

No, of course such men are not at all romantic! So I'm wondering, as all of use on this thread are wondering, just WHY this disgusting book is so FREAKING popular among women...

Emotional abuse is bad enough (I know, I've been there!), but add PHYSICAL and SEXUAL abuse on top of it, and it's a wonder how Ana doesn't go insane herself!


message 172: by Maine (new) - rated it 5 stars

Maine WOW. This review sucks! =))


message 173: by Chris (new)

Chris little this review, with the visuals was just too good not to comment on! I just bought the book and then read the reviews. I guess that was reverse order, but I am curious now.


message 174: by Deborah (new)

Deborah Thanks for having the guts to say and show my feelings about the books! The guy is a total creep ! All the good literature out there and this one makes the Best Sellers list ! The only good thing about this story line is that it might make a good case for buying a vibrator.


message 175: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Maine wrote: "WOW. This review sucks! =))"

Are you even old enough to read this shit??? Last time I checked you needed to be over 18 to read porn.


Caitlin I work at a bookstore and have been recommended to read this book countless times by customers and friends. I'm not really one for erotica, so I popped on Goodreads to read some reviews..I am glad you put excerpts from the book to back up your feelings. I am also glad I didn't waste my time.


message 177: by Valia (new) - rated it 1 star

Valia Malkia wa vitabu Great review.I have this book but I have never read it because I have a feeling It's like Twilight:everybody goes gaga over it and I'm left mouth-open with wonder.This just makes me keep postponing reading it.


message 178: by MrsF (new) - rated it 1 star

MrsF Well written story?? You could have played a whopping drinking game for each time she Ana said 'ohhhh' and Christian 'glared' at her. This review is fabulous! And I'm glad I'm not the only one who is concerned with the subtones of modern 'acceptable' misogyny. What z waste of paper.


message 179: by Viola (new) - rated it 1 star

Viola i love u! and i prefer Gideon Cross*!


*Gideon Cross : Owner of Cross Enterprises
Gideon: We've established some talking points: we have an intense sexual attraction and neither of us wants to date. So what do you want – exactly? Seduction, Eva? Do you want to be seduced?

Eva: Sex that’s planned like a business transaction is a turnoff for me.

Gideon: Establishing parameters in a merger makes it less likely that there’ll be exaggerated expectations and disappointment.

Eva: Why even call it a fuck? Why not be clear and call it seminal emission in a pre-approved orifice?”
― Sylvia Day, Bared to You


message 180: by Maine (new) - rated it 5 stars

Maine Anzu wrote: "Maine wrote: "WOW. This review sucks! =))"

Are you even old enough to read this shit??? Last time I checked you needed to be over 18 to read porn."


Uhhhhh.. YES! And by the way your review sucks. I don't even know why a lot of people read this shit. =)


message 181: by Katrina (new) - rated it 1 star

Katrina Passick Lumsden Maine wrote: "Anzu wrote: "Maine wrote: "WOW. This review sucks! =))"

Are you even old enough to read this shit??? Last time I checked you needed to be over 18 to read porn."

Uhhhhh.. YES! And by the way your ..."


Usually because we like to comfort ourselves with the fact that we're not the lone sane person in the crazy house.


message 182: by Maine (new) - rated it 5 stars

Maine Maine wrote: "Anzu wrote: "Maine wrote: "WOW. This review sucks! =))"

Are you even old enough to read this shit??? Last time I checked you needed to be over 18 to read porn."

Uhhhhh.. YES! And by the way your ..."


OMG! i'm so sorry. That's my older brother you're talking to. Sorry for the insults. Seriously :(


message 183: by Katrina (new) - rated it 1 star

Katrina Passick Lumsden Maine wrote: "Maine wrote: "Anzu wrote: "Maine wrote: "WOW. This review sucks! =))"

Are you even old enough to read this shit??? Last time I checked you needed to be over 18 to read porn."

Uhhhhh.. YES! And by..."


Understood, brothers are obnoxious, aren't they?


message 184: by Nancy (new) - rated it 5 stars

Nancy I'm all for freedom of speech but geez people! There are kinder ways to convey negative opinions without attacking and insulting readers for their preference in books. I am not a desperate woman with a sick fantasy to be treated like a slave. I just happen to really like the book. I read this back when it was fan fiction and I loved it then and I love it now. Not because Christian is depicted as "hot" or über Alfa. It goes beyond that! It's about healing from the emotional scars and forgiveness and love. Yes, Love! How dare you insinuate that readers of this book are into monkey sex and torture or that they are pyscho! You know when I start reading a book and find I don't like it, I put it down and select another book. Anzu...you had the choice to discontinue reading it! I'm amazed that so many of you have the holier than thou syndrome...he who is free of sin cast the first stone. Enough said.


message 185: by Maine (new) - rated it 5 stars

Maine Katrina wrote: "Maine wrote: "Maine wrote: "Anzu wrote: "Maine wrote: "WOW. This review sucks! =))"

Are you even old enough to read this shit??? Last time I checked you needed to be over 18 to read porn."

Uhhhhh..."


Tell me about it. Ugh. Makes me wanna strangle myself when they do things like this. Again sorry.


message 186: by rameau (new) - added it

rameau Nancy wrote: "I'm all for freedom of speech but geez people! There are kinder ways to convey negative opinions without attacking and insulting readers for their preference in books. I am not a desperate woman wi..."

You don't get to tell anyone how to write their reviews. Not even if it's to encourage "kinder" wording. You get to like the book, but you don't get to troll one star reviews and tell the reviewers their opinion is wrong. You don't get to tell them what books they should read which to abandon. You don't get to decide.

Nancy wrote: " I'm amazed that so many of you have the holier than thou syndrome...he who is free of sin cast the first stone. Enough said. "

Funny what you did there. Hint: It's not. Now, kindly, bugger off.


message 187: by Nancy (new) - rated it 5 stars

Nancy rameau wrote: "Nancy wrote: "I'm all for freedom of speech but geez people! There are kinder ways to convey negative opinions without attacking and insulting readers for their preference in books. I am not a desp..."

Rameau, yes, review the books not insult the people that read them! ;-)

Oh yeah...you bugger off!


message 188: by rameau (new) - added it

rameau Nancy wrote: "Rameau, yes, review the books not insult the people that read them! ;-)

Oh yeah...you bugger off! "


Is that supposed to be a comeback? Is that really the best you can do? The smiley face isn't helping.

Nancy: Profile private, 219 ratings, 14 reviews, avg rating: 3.59.
Is that eau de troll I smell?


message 189: by Valia (new) - rated it 1 star

Valia Malkia wa vitabu Rameau,I saw this on my notifications and I have to say you took the words right out of my mouth.PLEASE its a free review website and anyone can write whatever review they want and if someone doesn't like it too bad.If someone wants to sing praises let them write their own review or read reviews written by other lovers of THAT book.


message 190: by Viola (new) - rated it 1 star

Viola GUYS!! chill.... peace and love they say. ;)


Alicia (is beyond tired of your *ish) rameau wrote: "Nancy wrote: "I'm all for freedom of speech but geez people! There are kinder ways to convey negative opinions without attacking and insulting readers for their preference in books. I am not a desp..."

I always feel like when someone trolls one-star reviews like this to defensively state why they liked something (as if anyone cares) it's tacit agreement with the review's assessment. Especially when they didn't bother to review the "book" they ~love just that much in their own review space.

Speaking of, yet another five-star reviewer basically reviewing the flipping "book" in a one-star reviewer's comments while their review space sits empty. Ridiculous. *painful eye roll*


message 192: by Katrina (new) - rated it 1 star

Katrina Passick Lumsden Nancy wrote: "I'm all for freedom of speech but geez people! There are kinder ways to convey negative opinions without attacking and insulting readers for their preference in books. I am not a desperate woman wi..."

The irony here is kinda making my head hurt.


message 193: by Nadia (new) - added it

Nadia Garcia Mrs.Vishous-Kattalakis-Belikov wrote: "20 likes????Really??? I dont see the point....I loved it. Not because he's hot! It was a well written story that I greatly enjoyed. Im not a perv or desperate or any of the ridiculous things you've..."

I agree.


message 194: by Katrina (new) - rated it 1 star

Katrina Passick Lumsden ♥♥Mari♥♥ wrote: "Anzu wrote: " ♥♥Mari♥♥ wrote: "Thank you for telling the TRUTH about this book. I can't believe it's so popular! I'm not into erotica, either. Erotica is all about DEGRADATION AND PERVERSION. It i..."

"And as for not wanting to live on this planet, I heartily concur!!! Might I suggest Vulcan? Lol. (How I wish we could go live there...)"

Heck, I'd settle for Naboo.


message 195: by [deleted user] (new)

totally agree with everything you have said....i couldn't even finish this book....


message 196: by Maddie (new)

Maddie Swift lol...why would he need a contract?! That's your biggest problem? Clearly you're one of the innocent ones on the internet. It's a BDSM thing, and Christian's into the whole BDSM thing (Bondage-Domination-Submission-Sadism-Masochism). And for those stuff people do contracts for safety purposes and the pleasure of both parties...seriously..How can you not figure this out..it's like so damn obvious..=.=


And for you information, one of the most common female fantasies are one that they are "taken" or "ravished" or something like that. From this review It's clear to me, you're one of those, that are not into those stuff...

Anna;insecure?immature? maybe... but isn't that how we all are? To me, she acted a lot like myself, since like her-I've never dated anyone yet cos I don't like anyone-& I feel like I'm nothing special-that I'm pretty worthless....-but Hey, That's just me...(hmm...maybe I have some problems)

HAHA, erotica, can be cheap I guess..depending on your mood at the time, if you know what I mean..:P

Well, I'll end my long nonsense babling here..but I hope you read this Mr/Ms.Anzu the Great Destroyer


Róisín I agree with everything you said, Thank You for talking some sense...Christian is not alluring, he is disturbing and creepy and terrifyingly controlling, he frankly makes my skin crawl...as for HER, I just want to shake her violently most of the time...I actually read a review where someone described her as a 'strong' woman, if that is people's idea of a strong woman in modern times then we seriously need to be worrying about the state of society. The only thing that got me through the book was the hope that she would leave him!! She did...and within a few pages of the second book she was back...Grrrrr!


Bellicoseandra by the looks of it(handcuffs on the cover)in the third book he might get arrested and who knows maybe she'll learn her mistake(s).


Sahanaxox AMEN.


message 200: by Katrina (last edited Jun 06, 2012 09:17PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Katrina Passick Lumsden Maddie wrote: "And for you information, one of the most common female fantasies are one that they are "taken" or "ravished" or something like that. From this review It's clear to me, you're one of those, that are not into those stuff.."

I'm not even going to touch most of your comments because they're silly, but I wanted to ask a question. Since when does the fantasy of being "taken" or "ravished" translate into a man controlling every aspect of one's waking life? Being "ravished" is one thing; a man telling me how to live my own life? Quite another.


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