Anzu The Great Destroyer's Reviews > Eternal Seduction

Eternal Seduction by Jennifer Turner
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Oct 15, 2011

did not like it
bookshelves: buddy-or-group-read, the-hate-it-burns, fanged-and-deadly, furry-wild-and-rabid, dafuq-did-i-just-read, is-it-just-me-goddammit, kill-it-with-fire, reviewed-2011, wtf-am-i-doing, romance-paranormal, facepalm, freebiez
Recommended to Anzu by: Dija
Recommended for: absolutely no one! and I mean it

Let’s build up images for our characters, shall we?

Logan – lol I can’t help but think of Chuck Norris when I say this name…



I admit Logan isn’t your typical heroine. How often do you find a drug addict homeless person who, surprisingly, has a very good oral hygiene and who steals bags from old women for a living? Even though she seemed promising, everything went to hell after 50 pages or so. Logan is the most hateful annoying bitch on the planet! I simply hated her and didn’t believe the crap of her falling for Kerestean (whatever) just because she ended up a damsel in distress.

And, of course, we have a typical Vlad Kerestea. No wait… Kirestyan? F*ck it, I’ll just call him Bob. So here’s Bob Almighty!



Looking good Bob!

What are Bob’s negative parts? His name is gay, he’s a pansy, he’s not evil enough, he lacks personality, he’s boring as a pacifist’s pistol and he turns into a dragon. Vamps that turn into dragons… Could it be lamer than that?

Now let me think of the reasons why I would pick up a PNR book.
1) I want some spicy romance;
2) I miss a hot hero that would make me sigh his name before falling asleep;
3) A mother*cking group read.

Since this was a buddy read I can consider number 3 the reason why I picked this. It’s one of them but not THE ONE. I actually wanted a good hero. Now go back to the part where I described Bob. Now come back here. Pansies don’t make good heroes.

Oh I almost forgot. The beast inside him is hungry for some loving *wiggles eyebrows*

*facepalm*

Odin the great tailor?? Seriously??? I could get over the Odin part but make him a tailor? Oh well…



What a bunch of weirdos…

And wtf does the cover represent? Logan’s poem for Lord Vamp? Roses are red, my nipples are blue, your coffin’s neat but I hate your guts and I wanna kill you!


Other things that got me angry:

• Highly exaggerated at times even for a vamp PNR. *creepy music* six hundred years since the dark Stefan last turned someone *dun dun duuuun* I hope you are worthy.. Man she’s a homeless person and a drug addict. Your chances are pretty slim. Plus shame on you for taking advantage of an emaciated human.

• Bob is mooning over Logan and wants to take up his badass over-powerful father just ‘cause he "loves" her. And Logan doesn’t give a shit about him and she’s obvious about it and yet he’s willing to play the puppy role for her.

• The way Logan was demanding Bob to treat her like a whore and denying his feelings and then oh no he let the beast out and she spreads her legs like her life depended on it. Can you be easier than that Logan? How the hell am I supposed to admire this woman? She’s just pissing me off all the time!

• The story is obtuse and IMHO nonexistent. There was no action, no villain, no pain, no fun, just too much talk.

• I liked no character whatsoever.


The conclusion:

If you read this book




Free today, 27th Jul 2013, on Amazon. Get it here.
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Reading Progress

October 15, 2011 – Shelved
October 20, 2011 – Started Reading
October 20, 2011 –
7.0% "This book is full of weirdos"
October 20, 2011 –
18.0% "*yawns*"
October 21, 2011 –
41.0% "And Logan will die! Oh noooo!!! Still, am I the only one who thought the sex scene after immense pain and suffering is a bunch of bullsh*t?"
October 22, 2011 –
100.0% "RCS"
October 22, 2011 – Shelved as: buddy-or-group-read
October 22, 2011 – Shelved as: the-hate-it-burns
October 22, 2011 – Finished Reading
November 14, 2011 – Shelved as: fanged-and-deadly
November 14, 2011 – Shelved as: furry-wild-and-rabid
December 22, 2011 – Shelved as: dafuq-did-i-just-read
December 29, 2011 – Shelved as: is-it-just-me-goddammit
May 4, 2012 – Shelved as: kill-it-with-fire
May 5, 2012 – Shelved as: reviewed-2011
May 5, 2012 – Shelved as: wtf-am-i-doing
August 7, 2012 – Shelved as: romance-paranormal
September 19, 2012 – Shelved as: facepalm
July 27, 2013 – Shelved as: freebiez

Comments (showing 1-35 of 35) (35 new)

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message 1: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija Please tell me you're yawning because it's late and not because the book's boring!


message 2: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer It's because it was boring me :p


message 3: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija Nooo! Why?? (Without spoiling anything, of course. :P)


message 4: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Too much talk :p


message 5: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija Oh, then I should probably like it, since I tend to skip narration and just read the dialogue. XD


message 6: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer But no action! That's my problem. Too much narration is also sh*tty


message 7: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija Well, I started the book and I'm on chapter 5, right after Logan takes a bath and is transformed into this one gorgeous woman and all.


message 8: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Yeah bullsh*t...


Aly is so frigging bored I sens a 1 or 2* review :D Am I right? :))


message 10: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Yeah you're close enough :p


message 11: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija Oh, damn.


message 12: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Why? :p


message 13: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija Because of the 1 star! Now I'm reluctant about finishing this book. Sigh.


Aly is so frigging bored =))) I don't think I will :D I'll read till chapter 10 or smth and if it sucks as much as now I'll slap it with a DNF and a 1* rating :D


message 15: by Dija (new) - rated it 1 star

Dija I'm on chapter 11, and it's so-so right now. I do plan on finishing it, but we'll see how it goes.


message 16: by Aly is so frigging bored (last edited Oct 22, 2011 12:10PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Aly is so frigging bored I killed it :D

EDIT: after i read your review I have to say that you rock :D the book sucks but Anzu your review made me laugh a lot :D so thank you :*


message 17: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Dee gluck with that. If you like it then you're one of the most special girls on Goodreads! Why? Because you have a kind heart!

And I'm glad you like the review Aly. At least something good came out of this crap :p


Aly is so frigging bored You should write satire or smth :D Seriously! You would make so much money:D


message 19: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer But... I'm not good at writing :D


Aly is so frigging bored Really? :)) U could have fooled me


message 21: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer I mean I'm joking and all but as a serious thing.. Idk it kinda scares me lol :D


Aly is so frigging bored Well, that's why I said satire :D You could do a thing like my Vamp Diary or The Devil's Diary and they both have pictures and stuff in them


message 23: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer I have to read and make sure :p If it's good I'll start a thing about aliens *scratches chin*


Aly is so frigging bored True :D it would be so cool


message 25: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer I'll make you my editor :p


Aly is so frigging bored Yes :D And pay me well too? :))


message 27: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Depends on the profit :p


message 28: by Michelle (new)

Michelle [Helen Geek] God! I love your reviews. I laugh and then Oh, My!! Great one!


message 29: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Loooool thanks Michelle :D


message 30: by Kayla (new)

Kayla Williams I was in tears laughing by the end of this, not even the end-- I was around "the beast inside him is hungry for some lovin" part and I died when I saw the "you gonna get raped" pic. I love your reviews lol x'D


message 31: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Haha thanks :p


message 32: by Myra (new)

Myra Montemayor This review was beyond hiliarous!


message 33: by Anzu (new) - rated it 1 star

Anzu The Great Destroyer Thank you :D


message 34: by BK (new) - rated it 5 stars

BK Blue I loved the book, as I am as cantankerous a bitch as the heroine, but I also loved this review. I was a goner from the beginning with the Chuck Norris photo. So damn funny. Thanks for the laughs.


Storm Bayraktar OMG I died laughing reading "bob". Seriously, does ANYONE know how to actually pronounce his name..?


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