Demo's Reviews > Dead Until Dark

Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris
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Sep 19, 2011

did not like it
bookshelves: scarred-for-life, why-god, gave-up-on, terrified-the-chiz-outta-me
Recommended to Demo by: 10 Year old Stupidity

Some people have asked me why I never read Adult Paranormal Romance books.

Well, TrueBlood is the reason why. Read on, if you feel like snorting with pity-laughter.

Damn. I wish I could explain why I had to give this book a one star rating without sounding lame as hell. Because really, it was a stupid reason, one that only I would run into, and I'm 98% certain many of you will roll your eyes at me.

But I'm going to be honest. Because I'm nothing if not a truthful person. Ahaha, that's a total lie.

The main reason this book scared the shit out of me was because I'd read it in Catholic elementary school. (Even though I'm not Christian... Yeah, I never understood that either.) For those of you who have no idea what it's like in Catholic school (or at least my school): The closest you ever got to talking about sex were dirty jokes and boys giggling at things that look "wrong." (And the occasional "Your mom!" jokes and laughing at the reproductive chapters of the science text books. We were not the most mature students.)

Yeah. So some idiot that totally was not me for reserving the book without looking at the genres first put this book in the YA section. And me, being the YA lover I was, thought, OMG, vampires! (was a big Twihard) and read it.

Biiig mistake.

So 10 year old me was reading the extremely detailed sex scenes in this book with the most horrified expression you could ever imagine on my face. I only kept reading because I wanted to know who the murderer was. (This book is half mystery.) But anyway, it scarred me for life. I can't ever read a sex scene again without thinking back to this book and shuddering.



Moral of the story: If you're a 10 year old in the library, make sure the book you picked up is not porn before you get it. Because it will traumatize you.

And yes. So that is why I loathe this book. Lame? Yes. Will my opinion ever change on this book? No.

Alright, alright, enough of my pitiful childhood stories. There was some other shit in this book that makes me hate it, too.

For one thing---I did not understand the attraction between Bill and Sookie at all. Seriously. I mean, it was totally lust based---let's forget about the traumatization for a moment. I'm speaking from a non-Catholic-Middle-Schooler perspective now---and no love. At all.

This is what I got from it:

SEXLUSTSEXSEXPORNSEXPENISLUSTSEXSEXSEXSEXHOTSEXSEXLUSTSEXLUSTPORNSEXSEXLUSTSEXLUSTLUSTLUSTSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXLUSTLUSTSEXPORNVAGINASEXLUSTPORN..

Yep. Gather round, children, those are some words of wisdom right there.

Look, I don't mind romance, not at all. I don't have anything against it and I've grown up since my awful 10th birthday. But you have to have more to a fictional relationship than just sex if you want me to like it. Otherwise, it turns into this trainwreck.

And by then, I get bored and set the book on fire.



Then, we also have these other weird things: Like the names. What the hell is up with this: Bill Compton, Sookie Stackhouse, all the other names I didn't bother to remember?! Who the fuck names a vampire Bill? I get the feeling she went on one of those name generators online. I mean like, they're fine to use and all, but if the name sounds to weird, sometimes you should tweak it just a bit.

That way, your heroine's name doesn't sound like a kindergarten tongue twister.

Sookie Stackhouse.

Sookie Snackhouse.

Snookie Stackouse.

Stookie Sackhouse.


(I could totally make a bitchy joke about Snooki here, but I don't feel like dealing with trolls if I do. But you probably know what I'm implying.)

Bottom line? I hated this book then, I hate this book now.
I AM DONE WITH VAMPIRES FOR AT LEAST THE NEXT CENTURY.
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Reading Progress

September 19, 2011 – Shelved
September 19, 2011 –
page 2
0.61% "Okay, who's bright idea was it to name someone Sookie Stackhouse? I mean really, try saying that five times fast! Sookie Snackhouse, wait, no, Snooki Sackhouse---nope, darn, wrong again...."
February 17, 2012 – Shelved as: scarred-for-life
February 17, 2012 – Shelved as: why-god
February 27, 2012 – Shelved as: terrified-the-chiz-outta-me
March 28, 2016 – Shelved as: gave-up-on

Comments (showing 1-29 of 29) (29 new)

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message 1: by John (new)

John Egbert Thank you for warning me! If I wanted to read that I'd just go for erotica...which I don't for a reason lol


message 2: by Leah (new) - added it

Leah Goodreau I started reading this but couldn't get into it. I think I'll retire the notion of trying to finish. Thanks. (I have scarred-childhood books that I still can't deal with, too. *shivers*)


message 3: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo Haha, welcome.

Sad thing is, there's nothing to get in to. The plot's not at all enthralling, besides from a few murders nothing really exciting goes on. It's boring and overly-lusty and I just could not bear it.


Maggie Later in the series you discover the root of his "attractions" to Sookie.


Maggie To be honest, compared to the other books I have read, I found the intimate scenes in this book tame.


message 6: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo In erotica, maybe. Besides, did I not mention I was a ten year old in Catholic school? I had a right to be horrified.


Maggie Oh of course you did. I understand that completely. I'm just not horrified by it because so much worse comes from Laurell K Hamilton. do not read her books. I swear I drowned one in my tub when I was faced with a horrible bestiality scene. Ick.


If it ain't good I don't read it ! Finally someone with a taste in books
Anyways here's what I thought

This book right here wasted a good 20 minutes of my life its trashy stupid and makes no fuckin sense within 3 minutes into this book I was confused. Like wtf is going on she has a disability ??? Because last time I checked reading people's minds is not a disability it's called fuckin being crazy. And Who the fuck starts dancing when the see a fuckin blood sucker or even goes helps him?? Cause if that were me i'd run the fuckin other way ain't no way I'm gonna help plus that's a poor excuse of a vampire don't get me wrong I love reading books about vampires but what kind of vampire is it if can't fight ( umm hello super strength ) while its getting darned The fuck out ??
I'm sorry but this book was so so so so and so stupid and confusing not to mention dumb I don't even now why in the world anybody would write it yet again publish such horrid writing they should be behind bars scaring people for life !


message 9: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo If it ain't good I don't read it ! wrote: "Finally someone with a taste in books
Anyways here's what I thought

This book right here wasted a good 20 minutes of my life its trashy stupid and makes no fuckin sense within 3 minutes into thi..."


*Using mental Autocorrect to translate what you wrote into English* Yup. But I actually do kind of like the thought of vampires without super strength it make them more realistic. Maybe vampires are no more than humans who's digestive and nervous systems are wired to run on blood. I like how it sounds so possible and like it really exists.

@Jesse
LOL I read this even though it said TrueBlood in big letters on both the front and back. Goes to show how totally unobservant I am :/


Katrina Passick Lumsden I actually liked this book, but your review is still made of awesomesauce.


message 11: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo Ahaha, Thank you, Katrina. I did like the first few chapters. I liked that Sookie grinned when the Rats (or whatever there names were) tried to kill her. That part I giggled at.

Honestly, I can't remember the book that well from so long ago. I probably did like some of it, but all I can remember is gawking twitch-eyed at the pages.


message 12: by Ashley (new) - added it

Ashley i'm a huge true blood fan...but you're right, the name Sookie is annoying and awful.


Despair Speaking I was scarred by this too. The Parasol Protectorate dwelled a little too much on those subjects but it's just brief and frankly it's too hilarious for me to drop it. But yeah. It doesn't hurt to give a little warning. It's YA but more of 16+ kind of YA. And really? You've sworn off vampire books?


message 14: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo Not because of just this book. Most vampire books I've read are horrible. They suck blood. So what? I don't really care about them. I loved Twilight because it was original. Most people may be pissed off about them sparkling and having golden eyes and shit, but at least it's a step away from the norm.


Azb7145 One of the best 'vampire' series is by Christine Feehan, her Dark series are heads above anything Ms Harris has written about vampires, and there is a coherent story to tell, while Ms Harris can't seem to figure out what her heroine is doing with all of these vampires and other supes who put her life in danger at all times.


message 17: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo ^_^


message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

After reading this I couldn't remember which was actually her name. I was like, wait... Was it Stookie? Snookie? No. Hahaha! I'm a huge fan of the HBO True Blood series and was thinking of starting the series but after going through the reviews I'm not so sure anymore.


message 19: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo I'm like... 73.6% sure it was Sookie Stackhouse.

Don't take my word for it, I did read it in elementary school after all. Thinking back on it, I don't think I would enjoy it as of today, either. But hey, my taste sucks anymore. I blame tumblr.


message 20: by Moop (new)

Moop lol i love your destroyed child hood


message 21: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo i love it too <3


Íris Ahahah your review is hilarious and I totally agree with it even though I read it back in 2008 or something :p
I'm sorry for your childhoodlessness (if such word exists) but I'll have to disagree in Christine Feehan's books being good. I honestly only read one of us it was enough for me to put it down. I didn't like it at all. But I think I started growing out of the vampire phase when I everybody was still crazy about it.


Íris Excuse my comment. My phone sucks + my English is equivalent to the English of a rotten potato.


message 24: by Alex (new) - rated it 2 stars

Alex I once watched a few episodes and, you know, I didn't like it at all. Too many senseless porn, or rather PWP (porn without plot) fanfiction-turned-to-TV-series shit. That was years ago and now I remember only that I was annoyed by her name (since - and I'm not kidding - her name spelled/sounds/translates like 'bitches' in Russian, though). So that was...well, annoying and laughable. And I definitely didn't like actors. And plot. And quality.
But still I want to give a try to book(-s?), maybe it is better than TV series :D


message 25: by Alex (new) - rated it 2 stars

Alex I enjoyed your review, btw. It's great and funny :DD

But, for eff's sake, Catholic school sounds horrible/tough OwO
Well, maybe it's only for me, as I'm far beyond being a religious person. Wow. I bet, I wouldn't have survived it or would have been burnt as a witch xD


message 26: by Demo (new) - rated it 1 star

Demo Yeah most of it was PWP. Or, the porn was the plot, just with some vampires thrown in to serve some fetishes :/

Catholic school was such an experience. You'll never find someone who went to a catholic middleschool and is presently a devout catholic. Once I started a public high school it was a breath of fresh air.


message 27: by Daniela (new)

Daniela Your catholic school sounds like mine.

Love the review


Zarinah ha I know your review is old (3 years old ) But it was so detailed and funny for a 10 year old! :0 I'm thinking the catholic school did some good you write really well! sookie snack house was priceless! I hope u start writing books....


message 29: by Tabby (new) - added it

Tabby This review is so old but i just have to say that i love that first image you used because that is a very accurate, relatable face when reading this book and other awful ones. Lol.


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