Laura's Reviews > Much Ado About Vampires

Much Ado About Vampires by Katie MacAlister
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's review
Sep 07, 2011

did not like it
bookshelves: goodreads-first-reads, adult-uf-pr
Read from October 03 to 07, 2011

While I may not be an expert, I can say with complete confidence that the book, Much Ado About Vampires is just one of many paranormal romances that falls victim to bad writing. This book is nothing more than a self-indulgent, masturbatory Mary Sue fantasy dreamed up by an author who likes her men tough, buff, and randy. The main character Corazon Ferreira is a dumbed-down, sexually starved divorcée who by page 52 has determined that she will have sex with the murderous vampire from her visions. This decision is made after first draping herself over the inert body of said vampire and giving him her blood because she thinks he’s “mind-numbingly gorgeous.” The vampire, Alec Darwin is all too happy to oblige and indulge in a quickie.

I’m coming into the Dark Ones series a little late with eight books having been written prior to this one and I’m just so baffled that a series this poorly written could have lasted this long. There are so many other juicy paranormal romances out there to choose from where the characters actually get to know one another, banter for a bit and dabble in a little foreplay before having sex. I mean where is the sexual tension? Why is the main character so vapid and ridiculous? Here are a few gems I pulled from the book that perfectly illustrate what a complete nut job Corazon is.

“Dear god, you’re sexy. You’re a vampire but you’re so incredibly sexy. I just want to… what on earth am I thinking? You’re evil! You’re undead! You’re a vampire murderer! A seductive, sensual vampire murderer with gorgeous eyes and perfect hair and oh, holy mother, you can hear me, cant you?”

“Stop tempting me with your manly stubble. And chin. And jaw. But mostly your chin. Did I mention stubble?”

“You’re too damned handsome, ok? I don’t like handsome men! They’re always halfway in love with themselves, and they use their looks and seductive bodies to sway women into doing whatever they want, and I won’t have it, do you understand me! I will not have it! Stop being handsome!”

These quotes literally make my brain hurt. Even Alec the vampire thinks she’s completely unhinged but he’s got an itch that needs to be scratched so he’s willing to let her tag along. This book was beyond infuriating and the dialogue that was intended to be funny just made me cringe. Much Ado About Vampires was a colossal disappointment and the valuable time I spent reading it could have been put to more productive use. It gets one star for a paper thin plot, absurd characters, and meaningless marathon sex.

*I won this book on Goodread's First Reads Giveaways*

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Comments (showing 1-3 of 3) (3 new)

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message 1: by Lori (new) - added it

Lori Vargas-Agnew Congrats! I did to! I loved, Love in the time of Dragons .I have gotten The Unbearable Lightness of Dragons to read next.

Laura Congrats to you too! This will be my first Dark Ones read so I'm pretty excited :o) I'll keep an eye out for your review!

message 3: by Raven (new)

Raven Lumier Oh dear God. Just when I was convinced it would be good I see this review. Thank you for saving me!

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