I'm listening to this book so I'm not sure how everything is spelled. This first type of love reminds me of the basic level of care at the bottom of the psychological pyramids that is so often neglected and often leads to such dysfunctional young adults and crime. If an infant doesn't feel secure and isn't nurtured, then he will not grow up feeling compassion for humanity.
As for philia I totally agree with his philosophy. I have "friends" and I have friends. I have a group of five sorority sisters that I have known for over twenty years that I talk to every.single.day. No lie. I talk to them more than I do to my daughter, which I'm not sure what that says about my relationships. I also have a few friends that although I don't talk to them often I know they would be there for me if I needed them. Then there is Matt, my favorite. I dont know what I'd do without him, even if he does live thousands of miles away from me.
I think the important fact to take away from his discussion of Eros is that it is like a garden. It needs care. It cannot take care of itself. Constant tendering is required for it to thrive.
Lastly is the belief in love as a Christian. It's easy to say "god loves me", but does my behavior merit that? And can I say my behavior is the reflection?