Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin*'s Reviews > The Dark Ones

The Dark Ones by Rachel Van Dyken
Rate this book
Clear rating

by
1256869
Buddy read with Nenia, Sarah, and Celestine!

*looks at book*

*looks at average rating*

*looks back at book*



I mean, this book reads like something the author just dashed off over the course of a couple nights without plotting anything beforehand. Like she literally just sat down at her computer with the intent to write a paranormal story, and then did it.

Without forethought.

Without any sort of consistency.

But with the definite intent to make every sentence its own paragraph.

The entire book was so random and read like she just made it up as she went along. Right until the very end new ideas and rules were thrown out there for no apparent reason. None of it made sense. None of it seemed remotely related to anything else. None of it served any sort of purpose except to up the word count, which is odd because the book was so short and a lot of it was filler.

Also, there was no worldbuilding whatsoever. None to explain why humans and immortals apparently coexist in the same world, and why a human's number might be called so they have to go to the immortals to teach them... or something. Except everything humans are taught in school about immortals is wrong. For some reason. Even though they all live together in the same world. Which is in Seattle, but you barely even know that because the city isn't described AT ALL. Hell, not even the house the characters live in is described. And aside from a brief physical description of each character when they're introduced in the second (or third?) chapter, they get nothing.

THERE WAS ZERO CONTEXT FOR THIS ENTIRE BOOK.

Genesis was one of those heroines who does nothing but blush, cry quietly, and be beautiful. She doesn't know she's beautiful, of course. In fact, her mom told her she was ugly her entire life because of some woman generations back who besmirched the family name. Because random dead relatives tarnishing the family name is totally a thing normal people care about in 2015.

Oh, and Genesis says "What?" a lot. Like it's seriously her favorite word.

Ethan is her mate, who's standoffish until two seconds later when he turns super possessive. The other immortals (a werewolf and two sirens) seem to exist only to act as relationship counselors and feed Genesis (because Ethan is such a shit mate he can't even stop groping her long enough to let her eat). They all act like teenagers, and I was genuinely confused at times whether I was reading YA or an adult romance. It was so juvenile. One second Genesis has no idea what's going on and the next she's joking with the immortals like they've always been best friends and she hasn't been taught to fear them her whole life.

Again, this book made no sense. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Oh wait, wrong book (view spoiler). In the beginning, Genesis's number is called and she goes to a... place. Where there are some immortals in a room. And they use their powers on her and then this other guy Cassius comes up and touches her. Then suddenly the other immortals take her away like there's some kind of race against time and bring her to their house so Cassius won't find her. I'm pretty sure he knows where they live though, and he seems to live in the same part of the city because he keeps casually showing up places, so that, again, makes no sense. Even though Cassius is clearly their enemy, he's not. He's their king. But he's also their friend and brother. And he's not the bad guy, this other guy is. Only the other guy is actually kind of... not bad? I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE.

I can't even give quotes because I might as well just link to the book. It's so bad. Great idea, poor execution.
21 likes · flag

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read The Dark Ones.
Sign In »

Reading Progress

March 18, 2017 – Shelved
March 18, 2017 – Shelved as: kindle
August 29, 2017 – Started Reading
August 29, 2017 –
11.0% "This is addictive so far, but ugh, MATES. That's the magic word to make me hate something."
August 29, 2017 –
16.0% ""And now I'm bonded—to someone I don't love. Tell me, how does that work out in all those romance novels Stephanie likes to read?"

Uh, it works out friggin' awesome, Ethan. That's why the marriage of convenience trope exists.

"
August 30, 2017 –
44.0% "Genesis is an idiot. Ethan's all, "Let me maul you lustfully in this hallway." Then she's all, "I repel you." Pretty sure this happened solely so Ethan could tell her she's beautiful.

"
August 30, 2017 –
59.0% "What is with the chocolate analogies? According to this book, chocolate is basically heroine."
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: 2017
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: angels
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: clean-the-kindle
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: buddy-reads
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: indie
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: free
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: no
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: series
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: stupid-heroine
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: vampires
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: what
August 30, 2017 – Shelved as: werewolves-etc
August 30, 2017 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-35 of 35 (35 new)

dateDown arrow    newest »

Sarah Buddy read


message 2: by Monique (new)

Monique Great informative review for a book with hardly any stuff. lol


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Lol thank you. I just couldn't stop once I started ranting. ;P


Nenia ☠️ Hecka Wicked ☠️ Campbell I wasn't expecting such a low rating from you LOL. Now I'm afraid!

Also you read that really fast. o_o


message 5: by Sarah Mac (new)

Sarah Mac Well, this sounds charming. Not. >:P

I've gotten so burned out on PNR stuff like this. Enough, self-pub'ing universe. ENOUGH.


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Nenia *The Flagrant Liberal* wrote: "I wasn't expecting such a low rating from you LOL. Now I'm afraid!

Also you read that really fast. o_o"


I really just wanted to get it over with.

Plus it went by fast.

Because every paragraph was like this.

And it required little to no brain power.


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Sarah Mac wrote: "Well, this sounds charming. Not. >:P

I've gotten so burned out on PNR stuff like this. Enough, self-pub'ing universe. ENOUGH."


It really, really wanted to be charming.


message 8: by Nenia ☠️ Hecka Wicked ☠️ (last edited Aug 30, 2017 10:11PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Nenia ☠️ Hecka Wicked ☠️ Campbell Heather *live on coffee and flowers* wrote: "Nenia *The Flagrant Liberal* wrote: "I wasn't expecting such a low rating from you LOL. Now I'm afraid!

Also you read that really fast. o_o"

I really just wanted to get it over with.

Plus it wen..."


I'm half done and a little underwhelmed but Im also charmed because it reminds me of this story I read when I was fourteen


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Lol nostalgia is powerful!


Sarah Thankyou for validating my feelings on the book. The high rating made me think I'd fallen asleep and somehow forgotten all the missing world building or maybe that I had simply 'read it wrong'.


Nenia ☠️ Hecka Wicked ☠️ Campbell OMG YOU GUYS FINISHED SO FAST.

I need to get my ass in gear.


Sarah Nenia *The Flagrant Liberal* wrote: "OMG YOU GUYS FINISHED SO FAST.

I need to get my ass in gear."


It was a really fast read, possibly due to all the plot holes.


Nenia ☠️ Hecka Wicked ☠️ Campbell I just got to 61% ... and I am so confused. Also, it's so gross how they keep talking about how pure she is. D:


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Sarah wrote: "Thankyou for validating my feelings on the book. The high rating made me think I'd fallen asleep and somehow forgotten all the missing world building or maybe that I had simply 'read it wrong'."

I was going to give it to stars like you did, for sheer readability and a good idea, but by the end when she kept making new stuff up and not explaining anything, I was no longer feeling lenient, lol.


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Nenia *The Flagrant Liberal* wrote: "I just got to 61% ... and I am so confused. Also, it's so gross how they keep talking about how pure she is. D:"

There's also a bit of "you make me unable to control myself" language going on. Like the one part when Ethan said Genesis needs to not offer them any more temptation or something like that. BY EXISTING.


message 16: by Ally (new) - added it

Ally dammit. This sounds like a mess and I added it recently. *questioning my book selecting decisions*


Sarah Ally wrote: "dammit. This sounds like a mess and I added it recently. *questioning my book selecting decisions*"

It's not your fault. That super high average lured us all in with its seductive promises, only for all those promises to turn out to be strangely scented crap.


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* I think we all question our book selecting decisions way too often, Ally. At least I do. :P


message 19: by Celestine (new) - added it

Celestine Heather, I agree so much with your assessment! I mean completely. I am so annoyed by this book I am ready to quit at 26%. Well, I was really ready to quit at 15%, but because this was a Clean Out the Kindle Buddy Read I kept going.


Nenia ☠️ Hecka Wicked ☠️ Campbell It is a shame because the beginning had so much promise


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Celestine wrote: "Heather, I agree so much with your assessment! I mean completely. I am so annoyed by this book I am ready to quit at 26%. Well, I was really ready to quit at 15%, but because this was a Clean Out t..."

Lol, you're not really missing much. :/


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Nenia *The Flagrant Liberal* wrote: "It is a shame because the beginning had so much promise"

I was intrigued by the chapter where she met all the immortals. Too bad it didn't improve from there!


Nenia ☠️ Hecka Wicked ☠️ Campbell Heather *live on coffee and flowers* wrote: "Nenia *The Flagrant Liberal* wrote: "It is a shame because the beginning had so much promise"

I was intrigued by the chapter where she met all the immortals. Too bad it didn't improve from there!"


Saaaame. Cassius and Alex had so much potential


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Nenia *The Flagrant Liberal* wrote: "Saaaame. Cassius and Alex had so much potential."

Ugh, I KNOW. I didn't care for Cassius's arc. And since Alex started acting like a teenager, he lost his appeal real fast.


Nenia ☠️ Hecka Wicked ☠️ Campbell Heather *live on coffee and flowers* wrote: "Nenia *The Flagrant Liberal* wrote: "Saaaame. Cassius and Alex had so much potential."

Ugh, I KNOW. I didn't care for Cassius's arc. And since Alex started acting like a teenager, he lost his appe..."


Yeah tbh this felt more like YA than adult. The characters all acted like children


message 26: by Celestine (new) - added it

Celestine And since I didn't finish I don't really know how old the heroine is (wow, forgot her name already) but all the talk about school and her mom made me think she was 18. Not my cuppa.


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Nope, she's 25. Hard to believe. I kept thinking it was YA while I read.


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Lol yes, I'm pretty sure it was mentioned a couple times. For some reason the book won't let me search it so I can't confirm it though.


Sarah Heather *live on coffee and flowers* wrote: "Lol yes, I'm pretty sure it was mentioned a couple times. For some reason the book won't let me search it so I can't confirm it though."

Definitely 25. I remember her saying that. I also forgot as I was reading and kept thinking she was still a teenager as her main topic of conversation was what she learned in school.


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Yeah, my mind went to high school but I tried to convince myself that maybe she meant college.


message 32: by The Drowsy Bookworm (last edited Nov 22, 2017 01:24PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

The Drowsy Bookworm Your review made me LOL, you said exactly what I was trying to say in my review but couldn't put into words. Hilarious.

And yes.

Everything was its own paragraph.

Because a sentence holds more depth if it is also its own paragraph.


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* The Drowsy Bookworm wrote: "Your review made me LOL, you said exactly what I was trying to say in my review but couldn't put into words. Hilarious.

And yes.

Everything was its own paragraph.

Because a sentence holds more d..."


Lol, thanks! I chuckled at your comment too. :P


Laura i love your review.... was chuckling thought the same


Heather *Awkward Queen and Unicorn Twin* Laura wrote: "i love your review.... was chuckling thought the same"

Thank you! :)


back to top