Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads)'s Reviews > Hourglass

Hourglass by Myra McEntire
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WARNING: This review will not be coherent and most definitely a rage as I am pissed. That is all.

Emerson: A short poem I have composed and to be sung to the tune of ‘Georie Peorgie,’ the first half and at the second half, to ‘Humpty Dumpty’ lies below. The rest of the verse is purely improvised. Mostly.

“Emerson, Emerson, barely foot five
Tried to be spunky and made the kids cry
She terrorized the readers and made them beg, “Emerson, be gone, fowl beast! Stay away!”
Until one day she fell was pushed off the Great Wall of China
And all the King’s horses and all the King’s men…Wait, who was Emerson again?
I can’t hear you over the party.”



Meaning the party for my completion of this novel. Who wouldda thunk I'd finish?

Rating: .5 stars

As you might have gathered, Emerson is a very special person. Throughout the novel this is all I got: 'OOOH… Emerson is so athletic, Emerson is so gorgeous, Emerson is so thoughtful...' Emerson is so freaking perfect. Get me a hand gun, I wanna hunt her down. How I hate Emerson! I never did understand when people raged about Bella, nor had issues with her because at the time I read Twilight I hadn’t yet found a problem with the essentially 'perfect' heroine who gets love, money and everything she wants in the end.

Until I met the pygmy ninja that is Emerson Cole.

Someone please explain to me exactly how that is even possible? Or how the girl can be everything McEntire intends for her to be? She is snarky, but not too snarky, gorgeous, but obliviously unaware of it even when others persist in gushing over her like she’s some prized turkey. The girl is 'damaged' because the death of her parents provides that opening for empathy sympathy my foot and Emerson is somehow thoughtful as well even though she does as she wishes regardless of people's warnings or opinions a good 99% of the time. I don't know about you lot, but I demand some credibility!

Characters are not genetic engineered people you can put together, McEntire, they aren’t dollies to be assembled into perfect Bella Swan or Nora Grey wannabes. It never works out well when authors attempt to make their characters essentially perfect, this book being a very apt example of how quickly things can go wrong.

Stuff hits the roof when by halfway into the book, a reader despises most of your characters. There is something very wrong with the animosity I feel for this girl, possibly because I was made to suffer through days in her life for approximately 390 pages.

This is a brief summary of my journey with the book. Notice how quickly my patience diminishes:

Page 1: AW YEAH, new book! New book!
Page 50: Is it just me…or is Emerson annoying as that creepy Fellow Orange down on YouTube land? No, maybe more.
Page 130: Am I done yet?
Page 250: *Rolls eyes at everything*
Page 300: Fires flamethrower, about to aim…
Page 390: Very tempted to gag on book, wondering if I can use the pages as kindling. Must ask library. Winter is coming early this year…

This girl grated on my nerves worse than a freaking Woodpecker on an oak tree. It was all about her and by the end I stopped caring about Emerson and Michael, they could both go jump off a cliff together for all I cared. They were excrutiatingly annoying; the fact that they only ended up together because of attractiveness, and some very big problem in the way neurons in their bodies perceived contact, played a massive role in why I do not give a buck what they do!

Because it was so obvious from the beginning that they would end up together.

It practically screamed at me in the face that Michael and Emerson would be a couple. Even when they had no real chemistry past lightning touch and she was running after him dressed like a hooker. By the way, what was that? It was as if a sudden breach in character happened - the change I'd been praying for since chapters occurring - but not for the good. So what? Emerson has the balls to chase after a guy dressed promiscuously. I do not care! Most of the book was useless information for me scratch that, maybe all of it and the sole reason this novel even got a half star is Dru.

Dru who selflessly cared for her sister-in-law, Dru who had so much potential as a character. Dru who was so terribly out-staged by Emerson, and mind you, I do not care that she is the protagonist! The romance sucked, the characters so cliched I hardly knew what to do with myself. It was as if McEntire held a sharpie to Twilight and the first half of Breaking Dawn, slashed out all the original character's names and substituted her own with a twist.

Was the scientific aspect interesting? Barely. Before it could ever get in-depth or explained, Emerson would be there to somehow spotlight the attention back to her Michael woes. It is safe to also say that as a collective they were all selfish. After Michael's sacrifice, Kaleb and his dad do not have even the respect to feel bad - they continue on with their life as if he owed them the act. I mean, What the Eff, Man! Not that the two (Kaleb and Michael) ever related as friends in my opinion.

Behind Kaleb's back, Michael would bad-mouth him to Emerson and behind Michael's back, Kaleb made moves on that same girl! Three words gentlemen: Bros before Hoes. That there is grade school knowledge. All their shared history took an enormous backseat to this girl and they forgot all they had been through together! How is that right??

This is precisely why some women should never pen fiction. A real guy and his B.F. would not sacrifice their relationship for some chick! I positively hated the pedestal everyone gave little Miss Emerson, as if she was some Deity! So frustrating. Especially since I never respected her as a character, I could never relate or sympathize, and at first I did feel bad, but then I stopped caring altogether.

Everything irritated me. How she found a connection to Kaleb after knowing him for no more than 5 minutes irritated me. How the world revolves around her far-fetched infatuation with Michael killed me. She tried so hard to make it seem sexy. So very, very hard! And failed.

Failed so hard.

Did I forget to mention? (view spoiler)

And you know what? Screw it all! This book deserves a review almost as much as Emerson warranted my time. I'm out!

But before I leave...

IMMA FIRIN' MAH GUN!


description


And one for the Little Emerson as well? Certainly.

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Reading Progress

09/26/2011 page 1
0.0% "So total game-changer here guys, and bear with me, but the library wants this returned in 3 DAYS! I'm gonna have to bust a sweat, but I can hardly wait..."
09/27/2011 page 100
25.0% "So I started out hating Emerson, but she's growing on me..."
09/28/2011 page 138
35.0% "The science fiction element could be interesting..."
09/29/2011 page 142
36.0% "The idea of this hot pigmy ninja is hard to vision but I'm trying!"
10/05/2011 page 397
100.0% "Ugh, so glad this is over! Review to come soon."
02/28/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-24 of 24) (24 new)

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message 1: by Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) (last edited Oct 27, 2011 09:38PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) Cillian wrote: "Perfect.
Perfect!
Just perfect, but not annoyingly perfect like Emerson, mind."


Oh you got it, Cillian ;) Nothing could possibly be as perfect as little Emerson.Gag Oh I mean thank you!Shall we think of ways to finish the little gremlin off? Hmm?I personally quite like the Chinese-torture method.


Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) Oh I like the sound of that :D!




Wendy I think it's interesting that you were annoyed by the fact that it was obvious that Emerson and Michael would end up together.
I simply accepted it as fact from the beginning. It wasn't some sort of suspenseful thing that I figured out early. It was just the train station I was headed toward when I bought my ticket - exactly where I thought it would be, but I still had to get there.


message 4: by Jenny (new)

Jenny Just stumbled upon this review. Haven't read this book and would never have planned to, but my friend has it on her list of reads. Then I saw your review. I enjoyed it so much!!! LOL. You should write a book! You're hysterical!!! And even though I haven't read it, I can totally "get" what you're telling me, "feel" what you're saying about the whole thing. Awesome. Move forward, Judith. Reviews are small beans for you...you deserve your own novel. I'll buy it! :D


message 5: by Jo (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jo You are insane. This book is literally everything that is right in the world. And how dare you compare it to that garbage some idiots call the twilight saga. I am so mad. How did you not love that book?? Why? I understand that you didn't particularly like the Kaleb - Michael tension, but I think that you are incorrectly judging this book, saying that it;s bad when you really just don't understand it. You probably don't understand all the metaphors in Les Miserables either. And I'm talking about the book here, not the movie. And, you know, the movie. But dont get me wrong. I don't understand how you hate Hourglass. You know, I bet you're probably the person who only read the seventh Harry Potter book, then said the series was really bad. You are the type of person who doesn't finish what they've started, argues with things just to argue with them, and doesn't give a shit about what other people think. I respect you for the last one, but the first two are just stupid. Loosen up. As for your page review, I'll give you one of your own.

The Pages of Judith's Review :

Page 1: Ooh, look, someone who doesn't like a book I love! Lets's see if they have a valid argument
Page 5: Ugh. This person has a serious rambling problem.
Page 50: Would it be worth it to break my computer screen?
Page I don't know just get this to stop : Just shut up. Shut up. Your argument is invalid and you're just being annoying by now.

You happy now? There. And I though Dru was a bit of a jerk at first, but she got better, and Emerson was totally meant to be the protagonist, you jerk.


Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) Jo wrote: "You are insane. This book is literally everything that is right in the world. And how dare you compare it to that garbage some idiots call the twilight saga. I am so mad. How did you not love that ..."

Jo,

Thank-you for trolling, it made me laugh this morning and I kind of needed it :) You seem like the kind of person who judges people because they have different views from you, the kind of individual who thinks bullying will get people to agree with you. Please, go elsewhere.

I have strong feelings, just as you clearly do, and my review of Hourglass is a reflection of those feelings post my reading of the book. You can like the book, heck go ahead and love it, some of my good friends do, but do not stand there and expect me to agree with you. It's not happening. Also, you might consider why it is that you feel the need to attack me and not necessarily the book review. I assure you, this tactic makes you look all the more mature and certainly valid in your argument.

Secondly, you are in absolutely no position to judge the kind of person I am based on this review because you do not know me. I know you think that you do, what with all those rage feelings swimming about inside because I disliked a book you gave 5 stars, but in all honesty you don't. I could be mean, but I'm too tired for that now. All I ask is that you be more considerate of others and mature in future. People are going to disagree with you, live with it.


Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) Jenny wrote: "Just stumbled upon this review. Haven't read this book and would never have planned to, but my friend has it on her list of reads. Then I saw your review. I enjoyed it so much!!! LOL. You should wr..."

Lol thanks Jenny, glad you liked it! :D


message 8: by Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) (last edited Apr 10, 2013 05:47AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) Wendy wrote: "I think it's interesting that you were annoyed by the fact that it was obvious that Emerson and Michael would end up together.
I simply accepted it as fact from the beginning. It wasn't some sort ..."


Fair enough, I get that it was meant to happen, but I would have liked it to have been less obvious.


Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) Maria wrote: "Lol, but you could've cut the review a lot shorter by just saying that Emerson is a Mary Sue. I don't mind though - it was fun to read ^_^"

Yeah, but I wouldn't have gotten my feelings out in two words, though I agree that just using "Mary Sue" as a descriptor for Emerson is a possibility.


message 10: by Jo (last edited Apr 10, 2013 05:57AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jo Judith,

You talk about not judging people but, and I quote, or rather, copy-paste, 'You seem like the kind of person who judges people because they have different views from you, the kind of individual who thinks bullying will get people to agree with you.', so that's for judging people. I do not bully people to get my way. I simply have strong opinions and a hard shell.

I appreciate the fact that you replied to that, so thanks for that. I do know that I tend to have way, way, to much confidence, and that bleeds over into convincing people that I'm write, but, if you're like me, which I highly doubt, and feel bad for you if you are, you'll understand that it's just kind of important to get people to agree with you.

I'm the youngest of four, so I'ev kind of spent my life being ignored unless I could prove a point using logic, so I guess it could, technically, be considered bullying. I, personally, don't think of it like that. I have been ridiculed all my life, which is how I got that hard shell, and I was ridiculed because I lierally live in the library and tend to have at least four books on me at all times.

Right now, you kind of sound like my sister to me, who's always telling me to grow up. I don't mean that in any offensive way, but I just really hate it. I tend to think that whenever someone older than me is saying that, they're saying, "Be more like me." But that's just me.

I guess I just kind of - what's that word - overreacted, but I think you might have too on the review of Hourglass. You got so mad about it, like I do on some books *cough cough* the mazer runner *cough cough*, and on every mention of sexism. I'm very, very against sexism. But you get worked up. I get it.

I'm also pretty defensive of everything I think. I just feel like I can never let someone go against me, because then they win. You know that line in Les Miserables, when Javert's about to commit suicide, and he's like 'It's Valjean or Javert', that's,um, kind of me. But ya. Also, that would be pretty awkward if you haven't seen Les Miserables and I just spoiled it for you. SORRY!!!!!!!

(If there's anything I hate more than sexism, it's spoilers for a good book/movie)


message 11: by Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) (last edited Apr 10, 2013 07:42PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) Jo wrote: "Judith,

You talk about not judging people but, and I quote, or rather, copy-paste, 'You seem like the kind of person who judges people because they have different views from you, the kind of indiv..."



You can't go around calling people "insane" or expect that they always agree with you. There is no logic in going that route because you will end up offending people and putting them on the defensive rather than get them to see your side of things. Worse has happened in this world than two people disagreeing, and I assure you that more often than not, there will be people who go against you. To say that you "can never let someone go against" you is ridiculous because they most definitely will. Take me for instance, I certainly do not agree with you and there will be no changing my mind on this. Nothing can be gained by telling me all the ways I suck at analysing a book or its characters and trying to have me change because this review has been up forever and my mind is made up.

We both read the book and took different things from it, you loved it and I didn't, please respect my right as a human being to disagree with you because my opinion holds as much value as yours does. To say that we have to come to a mutual agreement means that you think your way is the only way, which is borderline fascist. Also, I see your need to prove a point, but there are proper ways of going about this. This isn't a family matter where you need to fight to be heard. I hear you, I just simply disagree.


message 12: by Cara (new)

Cara Wow! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion of a book. Just because one loved the book while the other one hated it. Is actually normal thats why they are called reviews.

I read your whole review bc I was curious what the conscenses was of the rating of the book. And it looms to be one of those where you either love it or you hate it. I give you credit for finishingit bc books that are just catching or keeping my attention 1/2 way through, I stop reading. Clearly, that book just wasn't for me. unfortunately, the twightlight saga, was one of those books. I just couldnt do them. Havent seen the movies either! :-)


message 13: by Cara (new)

Cara looks* not* catching sry for the typos.. lol


Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) Cara wrote: "looks* not* catching sry for the typos.. lol"

I agree Cara, thanks for reading the review! :)


Bipasha{is eviscerated by fiction} LOVED THE POEM!!!!


Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) Bipasha wrote: "LOVED THE POEM!!!!"

lol it's a work of art, no? Kidding, but thank-you! :)


message 17: by Brianna (new) - added it

Brianna I haven't read the book yet, and do intend to sometime, but I loved your review. Very funny. Unfortunate you didn't like the book. But hey, not every one is a winner right? I'll definitely keep your words in mind once I pick this one up, and probably laugh at various points until the end! Cheers!


message 18: by Amanda (new)

Amanda Bookworm I was thinking about reading it. but I am over the "Bella swans" in literature now. I sense a trend in books nowadays just like TV and movies.... its like 500 come out all at once with the same basic plot (ie no strings attached and friends with benefits for a movie reference) I want to read originalish ideas. its so hard but don't just make them so cliche its sick. I might still read it.... who knows. depends on how bored I get.....


message 19: by Raenor (new)

Raenor S I love this review and I agree 100%. I'm glad someone felt the same way about the character.


message 20: by Arya (new) - rated it 1 star

Arya This book doesn't deserve more than 0 stars tbh. One of the worst I've ever read. It annoyed me so much!


message 21: by [deleted user] (new)

PREACH IT, SISTER! AMEN!


Samantha I was going to write a review. And I still might. But honestly you hit every issue I had with the book right on the head! It was absolutely AWFUL. Emerson and Michael could go fall off a bridge for all I care. I wanted a cool book about time travel. Instead I got a sickeningly cutesy worse than Twilight version. I WANT MY TIME I WASTED ON THIS PIECE OF CRAP BACK!


Judith (Judith'sChoiceReads) Samantha wrote: "I was going to write a review. And I still might. But honestly you hit every issue I had with the book right on the head! It was absolutely AWFUL. Emerson and Michael could go fall off a bridge for..."

Haha aw, thank you! If you do write a review, I look forward to hearing your thoughts. It was a disappointing read, I don't think I've found a really good book on time travel yet although Passenger by Alexandra Bracken looks promising!


Laina SpareTime Also super super ableist. Remember, Emerson's not crazy even though she kinda sorta might have depression? BUT SHE'S NOT ONE OF THOSE CRAZY PEOPLE.


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