Adam's Reviews > In His Image

In His Image by James BeauSeigneur
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's review
Aug 02, 2011

did not like it
bookshelves: audiobooks-a-z

Post Listen Review: In my quest to listen to all of the audiobooks in the fiction section in my local library I have come across a few odd books. This is on the weirder side of most of them. (The one with the seagull shape shifting detective excepted)

I apologize for any misspellings of religious icons in advance, you'll have to bear with me much in the same way I had to bear with the idea of this story.

So here is the basic idea of the book. The Shroud of Turin was found in the 1980's and a journalist goes to report on it, undercover as an assistant to some professor. When they get back life goes on and all is good. Then we fast forward some decades and the professor has found some human cells that were still living on the Shroud and he decides (logically) to clone them. Turns out he cloned Jesus. Yes that Jesus.

In the book the professor who does it says he thinks they are leftover cells from some alien species. Crazy right? Well how about the idea that you could clone Jesus? I find that utterly absurd. But ok the author gets a pass on that. But he goes to great length to explain that a clone doesn't have the same experiences as its original so it won't be the same person. Yet throughout the whole book the cloned kid is having flashbacks of being Jesus. So then he isn't a clone right there but this is called the "Jesus Clone Trilogy". The author should look up what is and is not a clone.

A few more years pass and there is this weird event where millions of people die from some unnamed illness. It's not like they are swept up because they are religious or whatever, they just die. Jesus clone doesn't die though. He instead finds the journalist who messed around with the Shroud. Because the guy who cloned him told him to do that if anything happened to him. Well, if you are a clone of Jesus, naturally what you want to do most in the world is um... intern at the United Nations.

The journalist goes to Isreal at some point and is captured by some militant group. But first it is explained that the Shroud of Turin that was carbon dated to prove that it was not old enough to be that Shroud really is the Shroud because, of course, the Ark of the Covenant is really a time machine box that the Shroud was placed in. The same journalist that was like, psshh aliens, goes holy moly that explains it!

So crazy equals aliens, not crazy equals a magical time machine box that kills people when they look at it.

Luckily for the journalist the Jesus clone has learned to astral project and frees him from the militant group.

More years go by and more bad stuff happens so the Jesus clone becomes an Italian citizen and then an ambassador to the U.N.

Then we learn some weird stuff like that John the Apostle is still wandering around and it was really him not Judas that betrayed Jesus (or something) and we know it because the clone of Jesus remembers it that way.

Then the Jesus clone wanders in the desert for forty days and brings back this guy who I wasn't exactly clear on who he was or what he was for. While he is out there, nuclear war begins and things get really bad.

But here is the strangest thing about this book. It is well written. If the author could have left off all the crazy Jesus cloning garbage and just focused on the global politics that are going on, he could be another Tom Clancy. But I guess he wanted to make up a story about cloning Jesus instead.

I really hope the library does not carry the follow ups to this one.

Pre-listen guess: I am not sure what I will think about this book but I am a bit skeptical about the description on the back. Something about Jesus being cloned? We'll see.
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Joshua Anderson Just curious: Did you ever happen to read the follow-up books? I ask because a lot of the elements you critique as being strange make complete sense in the full context of the story and what exactly is going on with the Christ clone.

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