karen's Reviews > Bear in Underwear

Bear in Underwear by Todd Harris Goldman
Rate this book
Clear rating

's review
Jul 11, 2011

it was amazing
bookshelves: kiddiwinx, les-animaux

i mean - this book is getting 5 stars from me because i do not understand it, and i do not like the low-star ratings by people who fear this book for the wrong reasons. yes, i am the judge of reasons right now. scary, huh?? but this review is a gem for so many reasons, and its only comment kills me. i laffff.

but i understand some of the low-star reviews, i do. because there used to be a time when children's books had a message, right?? standards. a moral. this one seems like an explosion of terrible ideas. so a bear is playing in the woods with an assortment of creatures he would most likely eat in the real world. and he does begin to get hungry. but for hamburgers and cupcakes. okay, we can accept this reality for now. but then he comes across a bag in the forest and his first impulse is "i will take it." now, here in nyfc we have the old "if you see something, say something" campaign which of course teaches the very opposite of this book. do not pick up bags that are just laying around. if it belongs to someone, that's theft, and if it's a "mysterious package" bomb type thing, well, there go your limbs, little bear.

don't touch abandoned bags. really.

so whatever, this bear does and he takes it home where all the animals (and, umm...bigfoot) are waiting for him and they urge him to open it. he displays hesitation, which might only be because he is a greedy-ass bear and doesn't want to share the goods with his forest friends, not a sudden rush of good sense.

but he does.

and the bag is full of underwear. why is there a bag full of underwear in the middle of the forest?? they are all different styles and sizes and the first thought of course, is serial killer trophies, but the bear and friends do not seem to come to this conclusion and they urge him to try them on.


kids - do not put underwear that you find in a bag in the middle of the forest on your body.

this should be common sense. maybe not for bears, but for people. do i even need to be saying this?? so they watch him try on every pair of underwear (including the one that is "too dirty" and the one that is "too itchy" from which what appear to be fleas are springing off - you would think you give those two a pass when trying on the random underwear) so but then he tries on a pair of tighty whiteys, and they fit and he is pleased. so all the other animals, in some sort of bizarro garden of eden scenario, decide that they, too, want underwear. and suddenly they all have their own pairs. however, they are not the same drawings of rejected underwear from the mystery bag. so presumably the other animals went to k-mart or wherever and bought their own underwear rather than wearing this discarded underwear found in the middle of the forest.

smarter than the average bear.

i love this book in the way that i love crispin glover's books. because they are incomprehensible and baffling but oddly compelling. i cannot look away, nor can i understand what this author's intentions are. this is like several french children's books i have read, where i cannot believe they are real. but this one is real, and not something i have drunkenly dreamed. it even has a sequel. more on that later, but before you ask, the sequel is not a cautionary tale about the scabies the bear caught from wearing found underpants..

for now - definitely check this book out - i love the illustrations even if i can't quite follow the story's logic or support the protagonist's decisions.

and it's true - the underpants on the front cover are soft. this gives me an idea...
54 likes · flag

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read Bear in Underwear.
Sign In »

Comments (showing 1-30 of 30) (30 new)

dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by Greg (new)

Greg I agree with the other reviewer, this book can only lead to children fondling other children.

karen the cover is so "pervasive"

message 3: by Trudi (new)

Trudi Too much happiness for this review and for "the other" review's snap comment. Yeah, never go for a bear's junk, I'm pretty sure they don't cotton to that :D :D :D

message 4: by Trudi (last edited Jul 11, 2011 08:25PM) (new)

Trudi Has bizarro gotten its maniacal tentacles into kid's lit? Oh noes!

karen it was only a matter of time...

message 6: by Crowinator (last edited Jul 11, 2011 08:55PM) (new)

Crowinator This is a hilarious and awesome review and made me smile at how far children's lit has come. This sounds freakier than Arlene Sardine.

is like several french children's books i have read, where i cannot believe they are real. but this one is real, and not something i have drunkenly dreamed. I haven't read many French children's books, but your comment immediately called to mind this French picture book (perhaps not for children) I recently read: Toys in the Basement

message 7: by Natalie (new)

Natalie Love your review. Can't help but think the other reviewer should have started with something a little more basic. Perhaps something that would strengthen her spelling and tenuous grasp of the meaning of words.

karen oh, yeah!! i have toys in the basement somewhere around here - maybe i will read it tonight!

message 9: by Mykle (new) - added it

Mykle That's pervasive!

I really have to finish The Giant Pop Up Book of Animal Penises before somebody else does.

karen send that woman a review copy

message 11: by Jen (new)

Jen This wouldn't be such a gateway book if good mothers would simply buy undergarments made of a different cloth. Then there'd be no fabric connection.

message 12: by Jen (new)

Jen I myself prefer keeping children in diapers so that their adjustment to Depends adult undergarments doesn't jar their fragile psyche.

karen yes!! satin underpants!! suede underpants! linen underpants!! masturbation epidemic overcome!

message 14: by Jen (new)

Jen We've solved it. Whew, work done for the day.

message 15: by Jen (new)

Jen MyGodkaren, I think you've found a real treasure- thank you for directing me to Geni's reviews. I found this in Annie on my Mind:
At first, I felt as if I was reading a script for an after-school special...but the character building just got worse and more immature, I began to feel ill and wondered why in the world would I subject any teen, (especially a teen curious about sexuality) to this book. Which doesn't explain anything about the present time and homo-sexuality.
I tried to over look the fact the book is so old. Cell phones and email was not invented (these things I can get over)...but I don't think a teen could. If I was a teen wanting to read a 'coming of age' story about someone who was gay...I would not want to read something so trivial and boring that did not incorporate modern time.
The whole Knightly Hood, Unicorn and acting out like Kings and Queens of Camelot with pots and pans as a form of FOREPLAY is OBSURB!"

karen i know - i was giggling over that one this morning myself. i lurve her.

message 17: by Jen (new)

Jen I want to believe that she's given the words obscure and absurd a deliberate twist. It's like going to those yogurt machines and getting the chocolate and vanilla.

message 18: by Jen (new)

Jen Look what she does here, the clever girl:

Lady Chatterley's Lover
by D.H. Lawrence, Doris Lessing (Introduction)

Geni Randle-Miller's review Jun 27, 09

bookshelves: fetish, to-read

22 pages...that is all I could bare. Perhaps another time...

karen a pun!!! where is bird brian??

message 20: by r.b. (new)

r.b. "the first thought, of course, is serial killer trophies." you are something of a genius, madame.

karen i'm pretty sure i have you to thank for this book in the first place, yes?

message 22: by r.b. (new)

r.b. yes, but i don't think i did justice to it the way that you did.

message 23: by r.b. (new)

r.b. I like the fact that the author is also the guy who wrote Dicktionary.

karen a man of many interests

message 25: by [deleted user] (last edited Jul 14, 2011 12:49PM) (new)

I read this book today and showed it to some of the ladies I work with. My favorite comment: "And we wonder why grizzlies eat people?"
WHAT?!!! Said I.
"Well, people read that book and try to touch Bears' underpants. Unforgivable." *shakes head with disdain*
True Story

message 26: by [deleted user] (new)

And, in case you're wondering, (YES)! it was the cataloger.

karen Emily wrote: "I read this book today and showed it to some of the ladies I work with. My favorite comment: "And we wonder why grizzles eat people?"
WHAT?!!! Said I.
"Well, people read that book and try to tou..."

so in love with this.

message 28: by Cynthia (new)

Cynthia Ah. Now I understand why Yogi and Boo Boo were so close.

message 29: by Becca (new)

Becca they watched the near (as he was naked) put on hos underwear? that is WRONG!! this is definetly teaching kids the wrong tging. oh, lets go start buying underwear because bear with no sense at all found some in a body bag. (well he does discover underpants, which has to count for something.)

karen there are so many things wrong with this book.

back to top