ambsreads's Reviews > Caraval

Caraval by Stephanie Garber
Rate this book
Clear rating

by
30813900
's review

did not like it
bookshelves: fantasy, literal-trash, magic, not-for-me, young-adult, savage-review

TRIGGER WARNING: this one slipped my attention while reading, purely because I was bored, but I feel it is important to add that this book features parent x child abuse which isn't dealt with.

WARNING: this review will be a rant, there may be unmarked spoilers. This is also a highly unpopular opinion so if you want to come at me telling me I'm wrong or didn't understand the book I will punch you in the nose from how mad this book made me. Also, there is a high amount of swearing, which I usually don't try to put in my reviews but I am so angry. (:

“Whatever you’ve heard about Caraval, it doesn’t compare to the reality. It’s more than just a game or a performance. It’s the closest you’ll ever find to magic in this world."


Caraval was a book I knew I'd hate, I wasn't even excited for it. Then shallow me saw the inside cover and had to read it. Even after Caitlin, who I share similar opinions with, was disappointed. Even after it was repeatedly compared to The Night Circus, which I also hated. So, big fuck you to shallow Amber for making me waste my time.

If you haven't read the book and didn't adhere to my warning at the top of this review, I highly recommend you skedaddle because I am about to go into the characters. So, bye, come back if you hate this book.

description

For a book where the only review I saw that wasn't a five was Caitlin's, the character's were so dumb and one-dimensional. They literally had to state everything that was happening. It was infuriating to read after the ridiculous description we had had to read of almost every item. This book would have been a lot shorter without the unnecessary metaphors for everything. It was tiring.

But, anyway, let's talk about this shit storm of characters.

First, we have the dumb ass, possible whore(not slut shaming just stating it could be a fact), and ninja turtle of a sister. Now, you may be like, 'where did the ninja turtle part come from?' Well, my friends, her name is Donatella.

So, how did I picture this dimwitted sister the whole time?

Much like this:

description

A giant turtle with a purple eye band.

Then add this gif - because for some reason we were meant to think that Julian and Ninja Turtle had hooked up.

description

Moving on, we have the oh so romantic kidnapper known as Julian. Now, you may be like 'woah, a kidnapper?! Are we meant to like him?!' Don't worry, his brown muscles will distract from that. Nothing else matters because he has brown muscles and a solid chest.

description

Have you forgotten he kidnapped the main character (who I am looking forward to shitting on next)? Me neither. The fact he never called Scarlett by her real name, favouring "Crimson" instead, really irked me. She corrected him once and left it. I've had people call me Amanda for a year, and I corrected them every single time, so it irked me that Scarlett was that weak of a character she wouldn't stand up for herself.

Now, let's talk about Scarlett. Honestly, the most dim-witted character I have ever read. She was so stupid that it made this book a struggle. Her absolute inability to do anything correctly, the fact she couldn't solve the clues and the fact she was so hopelessly okay with almost everything was infuriating.

description

Now, you may be waiting for a representation of Scarlett. I got nothing. I basically pictured her as an 'attractive' blob on legs. Oops. Add that to a blushing virgin and you have Scarlett, the girl who could barely look a male character in the eye.

The plot was even worse. When you have a book with the preface of "it's all a game" and "nothing is real", it's going to be fucking boring when you try to add 6385923759 plot twists at the end that are dumbdumb. Everything about it had me spluttering in anger and sending Caitlin 80 billion messages.

Honestly, I can't even begin to express my utter anger and hatred for this book. It is literally told over a week and somehow there's a fucking love story too. Don't even get me started on that shit. My notes for it are just: "this is so fucking DUMB" - exact copy and paste from my notes.

Ugh, I am still so angry about this book, I don't even want to see it if I can't kick it 169238048 kilometres away from me. I also don't even want to get into the Legend shit that happened or the "oh no you've been fooled" or whatever the fuck happened.

description

To make this even better, I just went through my friends ratings and I've rated it the lowest. So, here's for an unpopular opinion. I mean, I didn't even buy into the hype, how am I this disappointed?
179 likes · flag

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read Caraval.
Sign In »

Reading Progress

October 27, 2016 – Shelved
October 27, 2016 – Shelved as: to-read
February 10, 2017 – Started Reading
February 10, 2017 –
4.0% "how old are these characters? I'm picturing early teens but i'm also picturing late 30's someone help"
February 10, 2017 –
9.0% "I'm going to straight up hate this book as a warning to everyone, can feel it already."
February 11, 2017 –
43.0% "please tell me that clue was as obvious to everyone else because jesus christ i was hoping it'd be harder"
February 11, 2017 –
80.0% "i've honestly never read anything as stupid as this in my life"
February 11, 2017 – Shelved as: fantasy
February 11, 2017 – Shelved as: literal-trash
February 11, 2017 – Shelved as: magic
February 11, 2017 – Shelved as: not-for-me
February 11, 2017 – Shelved as: young-adult
February 11, 2017 – Shelved as: savage-review
February 12, 2017 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-50 of 81 (81 new)


Caitlin bless you


Jiana my heart is broken


message 3: by Laure (new)

Laure Interesting, I was thinking starting this book soon. Having fantasy YA withdrawal symptoms. Just finished the 'Glass of Throne' series and 'Crooked Kingdom'. Not as good then?


Reem Omg i just bought it earlier today


ambsreads Caitlin wrote: "bless you"

its been 12 hours I still want to burn every copy


ambsreads Jiana wrote: "my heart is broken"

my mind is broken from the trash


ambsreads Laure wrote: "Interesting, I was thinking starting this book soon. Having fantasy YA withdrawal symptoms. Just finished the 'Glass of Throne' series and 'Crooked Kingdom'. Not as good then?"

For me, definitely not as good. You may enjoy it, however! These are just my opinions after all!


ambsreads Reem wrote: "Omg i just bought it earlier today"

Hopefully it's better for you!


sofia (sam willows) I might have loved this book but this review is so entertaining and funny I don't even care!


Michel Avenali From another person who seriously thought this book was crap, great review. Superficial characters, dumb plot, and it was just boring; I read over 100 pages just waiting for it to finally get good.


Joshee Kun (조수아) I loved this book, but it was refreshing to read an opposing opinion. :D Thank you for your candor. ;)


ambsreads Sam wrote: "I might have loved this book but this review is so entertaining and funny I don't even care!"

ahaha thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it!


ambsreads Michel wrote: "From another person who seriously thought this book was crap, great review. Superficial characters, dumb plot, and it was just boring; I read over 100 pages just waiting for it to finally get good."

I'm glad someone else felt the same way. I finished the book, hoping it would get better, but it just didn't. Was absolutely boring, but I stayed up because I had to know after so many of my friends had adored it.


ambsreads Joshua Gabriel wrote: "I loved this book, but it was refreshing to read an opposing opinion. :D Thank you for your candor. ;)"

I'm really glad you loved it, Joshua, I wish I had as well! But, thank you! :)


alexandra YES YES YES TO EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID. I need to remove this book from my memory asap


Churin I kinda want to read this review but I already bought the book and plan to read this so I don't wanna get spoiled
But I still want to read your review because I love them
But..


ambsreads Vanessa wrote: "Before I finish reading your review, I have to say I never read the Night Circus so I didn't have any preconceived expectations and remained totally open minded. Secondly, even though I rated it 5 ..."

Thank you so much! It means a lot, especially from someone who enjoyed the book. Also, it was so weird how the sister kept getting made out to be someone who sleeps around or has "loose morals", I was like ?????

I'm really glad you did enjoy this book though, I wish I had as well! :)


ambsreads Alexandra wrote: "YES YES YES TO EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID. I need to remove this book from my memory asap"

RIGHT?! I went to my local shops today and wouldn't even go in any book sections in fear of screaming at it in the middle of a store #oops


ambsreads Chuurun wrote: "I kinda want to read this review but I already bought the book and plan to read this so I don't wanna get spoiled
But I still want to read your review because I love them
But.."


definitely don't read my review just yet. I hope the book is better for you than it was for me though!


ambsreads Bibi wrote: "LMAO. Great review, Amanda Amber!"

ahahah curse you, but thank you so much!


Sophia I was going to buy this book since a lot of people loved it, but your review made me rethink whether to buy this book!


message 22: by Laure (new)

Laure This is one I am going to skip after reading everyone's bits of information. Being much older than the average YA reader, I 'm quite picky about my YA readings. :P I think this one is not for me. Thanks for the heads up. :D


message 23: by Diane (new)

Diane strght up honest!!!!...n i luv it :-)


JoAnna I have to agree about Donnatella.... I diliked her very very much!! I was cheering when (view spoiler)


ambsreads Sophia wrote: "I was going to buy this book since a lot of people loved it, but your review made me rethink whether to buy this book!"

I mean, there's still a large majority who have rated this book 5 stars so you may enjoy it!


ambsreads Laure wrote: "This is one I am going to skip after reading everyone's bits of information. Being much older than the average YA reader, I 'm quite picky about my YA readings. :P I think this one is not for me. T..."

hahah, I'm glad I could save you! This one is definitely an overhyped cliche!


ambsreads Diana wrote: "strght up honest!!!!...n i luv it :-)"

thank you! :)


ambsreads JoAnna wrote: "I have to agree about Donnatella.... I diliked her very very much!! I was cheering when [spoilers removed]"

i felt the exact same, I laughed for a solid minute before going back to reading and being disappointed!


message 29: by Tanya (new) - rated it 1 star

Tanya Tate Welcome to the club! Awesome review!


Ashley Oh my stars, this review literally made my night. Could not stop laughing at your rants about Donatella and Julian, bless. I thought I was the only one disappointed by this, all my friends seemed to be loving it, and I wanted to love it because I just really want to love a circus themed book, but I have yet to find one. I was having a convo with one of my friends and I literally told her how idiotic Scarlett was and she was trying to convince me of this "she's trying to find herself " bs, but i wasn't buying it. The way it wrapped up pissed me off because it was one big cheery kumbaya, or however you spell that, to a supposed dark book. Ugh, this was just too childish for my tastes I guess.


message 31: by Tess (new) - rated it 1 star

Tess Burton Agree so much! This book made me physically angry!


message 32: by Kyle (new) - rated it 1 star

Kyle Finally, more and more reviewers are seeing sense. I check Caraval's page every day here on Goodreads, and every time I see its aggregated score go down, I do a little cheer.


ambsreads Tanya wrote: "Welcome to the club! Awesome review!"

Thanks Tanya! I'm glad to join the club!


ambsreads Ashley wrote: "Oh my stars, this review literally made my night. Could not stop laughing at your rants about Donatella and Julian, bless. I thought I was the only one disappointed by this, all my friends seemed t..."

HAHAHA I love your comment! It was definitely childish, and way too obvious!


ambsreads Tess wrote: "Agree so much! This book made me physically angry!"

I'm glad someone else got angry!


ambsreads Kyle wrote: "Finally, more and more reviewers are seeing sense. I check Caraval's page every day here on Goodreads, and every time I see its aggregated score go down, I do a little cheer."

I'm truly glad I'm not alone on my feelings, the amount of 5 star reviews baffles me. I think ill join you in the cheering!


message 37: by Warrengent (new)

Warrengent So clad I had this book declined on NG heard nothing but bad reviews


message 38: by Kim (new) - rated it 1 star

Kim Haha " I check Caraval's page every day here on Goodreads, and every time I see its aggregated score go down, I do a little cheer." this is me too!


ambsreads It's gone down 0.01 guys!!


message 40: by MoonstoneOwl (new)

MoonstoneOwl Your review is hilarious! I love it XD


ambsreads Thank you so much!


message 42: by Kyle (new) - rated it 1 star

Kyle Amber wrote: "It's gone down 0.01 guys!!"

And the Heavens sang, for Hallelujah we shall rejoice! Lol


message 43: by Kyle (new) - rated it 1 star

Kyle And I'm pretty sure the initial rating was a 4.32 when I first submitted my review. To have gone down by .17 points since then is a win in my book.


Bang Bang Books OMG, this book was THE worst book I read in 2016. I too could not understand all the 5 stars. My coworker and I eviscerated it on our podcast.


message 45: by Myra (new) - rated it 2 stars

Myra Middleton Agreed. I mistakenly took this book to the emergency room to read during the wait today and actually read the whole thing with time to spare, which I wouldn't have done if I had anything else to do or read. I kept waiting for the concept to be fleshed out, but all there ever was was stuff that felt like it was added for shock value or relationship drama. I'm disappointed because I thought it was going to be really imaginative and that the author would immerse us into this fantastical world, but no such luck. I gave it a 2 because the concept was there, but was never realized (in my opinion).


ambsreads Kyle wrote: "And I'm pretty sure the initial rating was a 4.32 when I first submitted my review. To have gone down by .17 points since then is a win in my book."

damn, it's definitely on its way down! Thank God!


ambsreads Dawn wrote: "OMG, this book was THE worst book I read in 2016. I too could not understand all the 5 stars. My coworker and I eviscerated it on our podcast."

I may need to find this podcast, because I'm still angry like a week later. I don't understand the hype at all.


ambsreads Myra wrote: "Agreed. I mistakenly took this book to the emergency room to read during the wait today and actually read the whole thing with time to spare, which I wouldn't have done if I had anything else to do..."

I agree so much with everything you said!


Stephanie I didn't like it either!! It was so immature writing and the abuse really turned me off of it fast, not to mention all the lies. Nope not for me.


ambsreads THE RATINGS GONE DOWN EVEN MORE. PEOPLE ARE SEEING THE LIGHT.


« previous 1
back to top