David Pfanschmidt's Reviews > Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade: The 5 Love Languages and the Alzheimer's Journey

“Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade” was an eye opener for me. Like most 60+ people, I fear dementia (in general) and Alzheimer’s Disease (in particular). The sadness of the disease is nearly overwhelming. Gary Chapman, Edward Shaw, and Debbie Barr take the time to explain the disease and describe its damage from the perspective of various affected people.
They explain their purpose this way: “It is the mission of our book to assert that the application of intentional love is powerful and beautiful, worth applying even to a tapestry that will be inevitably fully unravel.”
They go on to state the premise of the book as: “Embracing the five love languages can help individuals, couples, and families cope with Alzheimer’s Disease.”
The facts, figures, and education are worth reading on their own. The stories of care partners and the open confessions of their feelings as the disease worsens are both heart-breaking and heart-warming.
“Keeping Love Alive ….” is a must read for those with early onset dementia, their loving care partners, and anyone wanting to better understand this dreaded disease. Approaching Alzheimer’s from the perspective of Chapman’s Five Love Languages is both practical and thought provoking.
The authors state: “The ‘feeling’ of love comes from the memories that we have attached to it. As one partner’s memory fades, the entire history of the relationship will eventually exist only in the healthy person’s memory.”
They explain that love in the world of dementia isn’t a 50-50 sharing, but more like a 99-1 proposition and that the care partner’s “threshold for receiving love has to be dialed way down.
This is an outstanding work. I was saddened, enlightened, encouraged, and frightened by the material.