Shelby *trains flying monkeys*'s Reviews > Hex

Hex by Thomas Olde Heuvelt
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bookshelves: witches, read-2017, scary-stuff

It's that time of year again. When the leaves start turning and the air gets cooler...wut? I live in the south. That crap ain't happening. But I still wanted some scary reading.

I may have lost my ever-loving mind. BECAUSE the place where I work is probably haunted. I'm about 97.8% sure it's haunted. Then I pick up a creepy ass book to read.


After figuring out that I couldn't read this either before I went into work, during work or when I was thinking about work...I finally got a couple of days off and knew I had to binge this sucker.
Otherwise you guys would have seen me on the news...


Now if you are a friend of mine or have followed me for awhile..you know I read some jacked up stuff. It takes a few drinks boogers to scare me.
The few times I've been scared while reading I usually just went to bed and covered up my head and was okay. Then there have been a couple of movies that scared the bejeebus out of me. The Stupid Grudge and the Stinking Ring are two that come to mind.
This book reminds me of them.


It's set in a small town that kind of reminded me of that movie..The Village. Once you live there you can't leave. (that movie didn't scared nothing by the way)

This one is that way because of the witch. She has been there since the days of yore and the reason? The people back in the day accused her of being a witch then proceeded to make her sacrifice one of her children. Then to make it even better they killed her and sewed her eyes and mouth closed.

Girlie got pissed off and came back to town. She wanders around town and just appears randomly. She might be at your beside while you and the mister are doing the freaky deaky. You just never know. Unless you are tracking her on the mobile app. These people have gone high tech. They have cameras all over town and the before mentioned tracking app.
But this little town has rules. You can't mention or film the witch. You can't touch her. You can't ever move out of town because the over-whelming feeling of wanting to commit suicide comes over you.

I wondered several times why they just didn't blast her with dynamite.
Or something.


But then reality starts to set in while you are reading this book. These characters are bat-shit crazy. They are mean as snakes. You have one father that is a main character who pretty much admits he has a favorite son...and it's not the gay one. You have women constantly put down..one was made fun of the whole entire book because she was fat. Another had an abnormally high forehead that the author couldn't shut up about.

I started cheering for the witch.

I will admit to somewhat liking this book. It is perfect for a Halloween read. Not in your face gore...just that almost oppressive feeling of something bad coming. I had to check my underwear several times.
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Reading Progress

August 14, 2016 – Shelved
October 12, 2017 – Started Reading
October 19, 2017 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-31 of 31 (31 new)

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message 1: by Diane (new)

Diane Barnes Another great review that I suspect is better than the book.


Michelle Hahaha! Hilarious review! Love it!


message 3: by Shay (new)

Shay I’m going to agree with Diane on this one 😂


Kelly (and the Book Boar) NEW UNDERWEARS ARE IN THE MAIL (with my baby teeth).


message 5: by carol. (new)

carol. Of course the place you work is haunted. How else to explain management? Clearly, they are possessed.


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* Michelle wrote: "Hahaha! Hilarious review! Love it!"

Thanks Michelle!

Shay wrote: "I’m going to agree with Diane on this one 😂"

Diane wrote: "Another great review that I suspect is better than the book."

The book skeered my pants off. LOL


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* Carol. wrote: "Of course the place you work is haunted. How else to explain management? Clearly, they are possessed."

Esp. truth.

Kelly (and the Book Boar) wrote: "NEW UNDERWEARS ARE IN THE MAIL (with my baby teeth)."

Don't forget the jar of pee. I have to find a way to keep these cats from tearing off the duct tape and your package will be on the way!


message 8: by Nicole (new)

Nicole (Read Eat Sleep Repeat) Haha awesome review! 😂


message 9: by debra (new)

debra Diane wrote: "Another great review that I suspect is better than the book."

IKR? All her reviews are, not to mention the comments they generate. I think Kelly and Shelby shoud make a book of their reviews ; ))


message 10: by Aisling Zena (new)

Aisling Zena Terrific review Shelby! :)


message 11: by Delmy (new)

Delmy haha, madea is a perfect use for this review. I can't read a scary book at work, or where I used to work. I mainly worked on my own and even though there's people around, I never saw anyone bc it was a big place and haunted (supposedly). But great review!


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* debra wrote: "Diane wrote: "Another great review that I suspect is better than the book."

IKR? All her reviews are, not to mention the comments they generate. I think Kelly and Shelby shoud make a book of their..."


LOL! It would be one of those toilet paper books.

Aisling Zena wrote: "Terrific review Shelby! :)"

Nicole wrote: "Haha awesome review! 😂"

Thank you both!


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* Delmy wrote: "haha, madea is a perfect use for this review. I can't read a scary book at work, or where I used to work. I mainly worked on my own and even though there's people around, I never saw anyone bc it w..."

I'm usually by myself too...except for the ghost. She gets rowdy sometimes.


Carol Hehehe.....great review...as always! 😸


message 15: by Sarah (new)

Sarah This is on my TBR list. Now I'm really glad after reading this review Shelby. The gifs were as great as the review. Can't wait to read this one as its 80 something degrees here in this forsaken state 🎃🔥


message 16: by Karen (new)

Karen Great review Shelby, I’m so sad for you that you can’t see what I see here in Michigan in Autumn! So beautiful!!


message 17: by Jennifer (new)

Jennifer Masterson Great review, Shelby! :)


message 18: by Kristin (new)

Kristin Hahaha I’d be cheering the witch too!


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* Kristin ❋extols death with luminescent brilliance❋ wrote: "Hahaha I’d be cheering the witch too!"
(I'd probably cheer for her anyways. LOL)

Karen wrote: "Great review Shelby, I’m so sad for you that you can’t see what I see here in Michigan in Autumn! So beautiful!!"

We usually get some fall but the last couple of years it's been hot as Hades. I want fall and snow. :D

Sarah wrote: "This is on my TBR list. Now I'm really glad after reading this review Shelby. The gifs were as great as the review. Can't wait to read this one as its 80 something degrees here in this forsaken sta..."

That's the way it's been here..last night we are finally getting a cold front. Bring it!
Jennifer wrote: "Great review, Shelby! :)"

Carol wrote: "Hehehe.....great review...as always! 😸"

Thanks :D


message 20: by Jessaka (new)

Jessaka Your reviews are fun to read.


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* Jessaka wrote: "Your reviews are fun to read."

Thank you :)


message 22: by L.P. (new) - rated it 5 stars

L.P. Logan I liked it purely for the witch. I wanted her to win. And she did! But .... I wanna hear more about your haunted work place. Derails!


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* L.P. wrote: "I liked it purely for the witch. I wanted her to win. And she did! But .... I wanna hear more about your haunted work place. Derails!"

I totally cackled when she did! LOL

It's a crazy train! It's a new building but the owner bought the land and there was an 'memory tree' on it. A large one. He picked up the stone that had some writing on it and tossed it in the woods. Then proceeded to make a big table and several other items for the place out of that tree.
We have all experienced some "things" that have happened. Doors locking, elevator not letting you off until it decides and then on random floors, voices when no one is in the building, footsteps when there should be none..etc. It's wild.


message 24: by L.P. (new) - rated it 5 stars

L.P. Logan Oooooh! That is creepy. You should take a recorder or something with you, see if you can get some of those voices recorded and become a ghost Hunter. Or, you could get some sage and start cleansing that place

The elevator thing would scare me to death


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* L.P. wrote: "Oooooh! That is creepy. You should take a recorder or something with you, see if you can get some of those voices recorded and become a ghost Hunter. Or, you could get some sage and start cleansing..."

We actually did the sage thing. It's been weird how much stuff has broken here too..very expensive machines just completely going berserk.


message 26: by L.P. (new) - rated it 5 stars

L.P. Logan You are a brave woman


message 27: by Marina (new) - added it

Marina "I started cheering for the witch." Ok, now I have to read it. Great review Shelby!


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* Marina wrote: ""I started cheering for the witch." Ok, now I have to read it. Great review Shelby!"

LOL! Hope you enjoy!


Char Yes....about that stupid high forehead! OMG, enough already!


Shelby *trains flying monkeys* Char wrote: "Yes....about that stupid high forehead! OMG, enough already!"

Lol!!


message 31: by Misty (new)

Misty No idea why this came up in my feed, but I’m so glad it did. Absolutely hilarious review.


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