Kendel Christensen's Reviews > The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

This is a great read! Gary Chapman has a deep, experienced lens through which the reader can see relationships on an entirely different level. His recommendations are extremely practical and the framework he gives--that everyone has a "language" of love (with the possibility of several 'dialects')--can be a helpful system in improving our interactions with other people, especially our loved ones. That being said, I think the author goes a little too far in believing that his theory represents reality (I believe he is guilty of reification). Nevertheless, I think this is a classic, one to be read repeatedly (and applied more fully). WORLDS better than John Gray's offerings IMO.

Some good thoughts from the book include:
“The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.”

“Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.”

“I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.”

“We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.”

"Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't even matter [in the long run]."

"Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise."