Lauren Redmond's Reviews > Parenting With Love and Logic

Parenting With Love and Logic by Foster W. Cline
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I bought this book, as well as 4 other parenting books, so that I could compare a bunch of different theories and techniques and decide what spoke to me.

I found it interesting and there was plenty that was useful, however there was a lot that I didn't agree with. I think that there are a lot of responses to children that they call "Logical consequences" that I call punishment all dressed up in disguise. I don't know how this couldn't come across as inauthentic to children and get more annoying to them as they get older. I was disturbed by the idea of the option that if children aren't behaving than maybe they are "choosing" to be shut in their rooms with a towel between the door and the door jam to keep the door essentially locked shut. This would be very traumatic for my toddler and it isn't at all the message that I want to send. I also don't think that I could send my child to daycare or school without clothes or outside on a cold day without a coat if they weren't ready on time, etc. However, I am sure there will come a time when using such a method will be useful. When I was in HS, I had to pay for a cab to school when I missed the school bus. That was a reasonable and effective logical consequence.

I recommend "Positive Discipline", which incorporates logical consequences, but they aren't just punishments in disguise, and it seems to me to be a much more compassionate way to parent.
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Reading Progress

Finished Reading
March 6, 2008 – Shelved

Comments Showing 1-5 of 5 (5 new)

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message 1: by Jeannette (new)

Jeannette You might also like "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn.

message 2: by Anna (new) - added it

Anna The point is that punishments *are* consequences, not arbitrary. It shifts things from a notion of power to objective perspectives. It is not hiding punishments in the guise of consequences, but rather, revealing punishments as consequences, to foster independence. If that makes sense. The parent is saying, "It's not about me, it's about the law of _______."

message 3: by Lollalollita (new)

Lollalollita hey..i need abook to help me with two years boy

message 4: by Connie (new)

Connie Wichert delong A love and logic parent hands the kids problem over to the kid while he is young enough and when the price tags are small. In our house we hand out $10 for allowance, once the money is gone it's gone, kind of like when we go blow our whole paycheck. Bummer! Now if my 10 year old child would like to get a "loan" then he can pay me back. I would most definitely expect him not to pay me back, not the first time. I would rather repo his $50 bike and teach him a huge lesson than teach him nothing about money and loans and he get his $20,000 car reposed.

Tiffany Young I agree that there are some useful nuggets of truth in teaching our kids natural consequences, but I also feel like there are some major flaws with these techniques.
I do not personally know any adults who receive an allowance. the responsible adults that I know work hard for their money. the harder and more they work, the more money they have available. my children work for their money and are paid by their chore. my children associate work with pay and can choose to earn more money if they want to work. My husband and I follow Dave Ramsey's financial advice and we are teaching our children how to budget their money instead of letting them fail and go hungry.
Speaking of going hungry, I am also not a fan of allowing children to go hungry because they were given the opportunity to take their lunch money to spend else where or because they didn't like what was for dinner. As a parent, it is my responsibility to make sure my children are fed. I suppose I may feel differently if my children were not on the smallest end of the growth chart. I also feel strongly about taking "no thank you" bites when a child doesn't think they will like something.

I know a lot of people who love this book and I think there are some useful tips, but it is definitely not a "one size fits all" book.

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