Sybil aka Lala's Reviews > Cleat Catcher

Cleat Catcher by Celia Aaron
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it was amazing

So it’s been about five months since Cleat Chaser and The Great Bucket List it inspired. In all that time Prince has died, Britain has left the building and Hodor happened. However, The Great Bucket List remains woefully uncompleted. Donald Trump still scares me … do y’all think his peen is orange too? Also, do you think Malia suffers from permanent Cheeto-coochy as a result?

Anyway I haven’t moved to America, I didn’t become a Cleat Chaser, I haven’t found a baseball player, I haven’t had hot sex with said baseball player, I haven’t gotten drunk with either Celia or Sloane and I haven’t used “Jackson Pollock a pair of flop rockets” in conversation but I HAVE learned some shit about the great game of baseball (although, World Series? Still a mystery…)

Here’s what I’ve learned: Baseball is fucking filthy

Charging the mound – Charging the mound is assault by a batter against the pitcher, usually the result of being hit by a pitch or nearly being hit by a pitch. As I’m explaining this to you all, I still have no idea what any of it means but this can also means intentional anal sex. I know what THAT means. So assault which is intentional. Like the kind of intentional assault I suffered at the hands of Sloalia (yup, I shipped them. #TeamSloalia). I’m not saying I was anally penetrated by these two but I definitely felt exhausted as if I were. Partly because I started reading this book late at night and I couldn’t put it down, but also because my body is exhausted from laughing so hard. Cleat Catcher is ridiculous and hilarious and genius. The situations, the banter, the one-liners, the lesbian sister… the hits just kept on coming until I was left a bruised and battered mess on the floor.

Backdoor slider – A pitch that appears to be out of the strike zone, but then breaks back over the plate. Also anal sex. This time unexpected. And although there were no unexpected romance explosions exploding in the wrong hole there was a lot of other unexpected shit that happened in this book. Like the fact that it made me cry. I laughed until I cried because obviously this book was hilarious but that was not unexpected. What was unexpected is that I cried like I was watching The Lion King; like everything is just so fucking cute and sweet and emotional and somewhere Elton John is singing about feeling the love and you’re just so goddamned full of the warm and fuzzies that it spills out of your eyes like you’re allergic to cats and the world has suddenly been taken over by pussy. Yes, that. Through all of the hilarity and ridiculous shit that happened in this book, it also delivers on all the feels. It was sweet and cute and romantic. There were pretty things said and epic grand gestures and that ending… GAH!

Home run- A home run is scored when the ball is hit in such a way that the batter is able to circle the bases and reach home safely in one play without any errors being committed by the defensive team in the process. Also sex. Of the regular, non-anal, expected variety. Of which there was a lot in this book. A lot of hot sex. But even without all of that there is so much to love about Cleat Catcher. These two hit the perfect, flawless home run with this book. They gave us angst and tension and humour and sweetness and hot guys and DIY waxing tips and it is entertaining and exciting and a fucking good time and everything about this is just perfect so just read the damn book!

Fisted – I swear to fucking god this is an actual baseball term. It’s what happens when a batter swings at a pitch that is inside and the ball hits the bat close to his fists. Or the act of inserting a fist into a body cavity or orifice. Or getting the short end of the stick, getting a raw deal. More importantly it is the extreme of getting fucked, screwed or getting the shaft, involves more discomfort on the part of the fistee. Which is what I feel. Shafted, screwed, fucked and unfairly treated. These two books form part of The Cleat Chaser Duet. Which means there are only two. This means no more are forthcoming. This means life has lost all meaning. I haven’t been this sad since Hodor held the goddamned door. I haven’t felt this empty since Britain left.

This is why doves cry.

(ARC provided by authors in exchange for an honest review.)
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Reading Progress

Finished Reading
June 30, 2016 – Shelved

Comments Showing 1-5 of 5 (5 new)

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Mette Brilliant review, Sybil, you almost had me crying. And btw, good luck on getting that review approved on Amazon lol.

Sybil aka Lala Mette wrote: "Brilliant review, Sybil, you almost had me crying. And btw, good luck on getting that review approved on Amazon lol."

Hahaha thanks babe! LOL no I toned it down A LOT for Amazon. I think the amazon review is three short paragraphs

message 3: by Bookloverme (new)

Bookloverme Amazing review my dear! :)

Eve (Between The Bookends) Your review is PURE GOLD! *lol*

Sybil aka Lala Eve wrote: "Your review is PURE GOLD! *lol*"

Bookloverme wrote: "Amazing review my dear! :)"

Hahaha thank you, lovelies

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