Jemma's Reviews > The Dance of Anger: A Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships

The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
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's review
Apr 05, 2011

really liked it
bookshelves: own-a-copy, 2012
Read from April 24, 2011 to July 27, 2012

'The Dance of Anger' took me many months to finish, not because it was uninteresting or irrelevant, but because its content can be somewhat challenging to digest. The book works through eight chapters, each examining a different type of relationship and the "dance" of issues circulating through each. Harriet Lerner looks at relationships with mothers, partners, work-colleagues, and families, and as I read, I felt that I could identify with more than one of the example situations.

Even though first written in 1985, I found that the issues were still relevant today. I think this self-help book will need one more, if not several reads. The wealth of information will perhaps need many reads to really settle the information and advice into one's brain.

The final chapter really consolidates the information, with handy references at which chapter to revisit for certain relationship patterns. There is also a rather sobering Epilogue advising that, whilst the book is helpful and perhaps eye-opening, it is not a follow-for-perfection guide, and Lerner says that following it will not produce Happily Ever After results. She gently says that everything we decide to change about our relationship patterns is down to us as individuals. We must do everything ourselves, and rely on others only to help us learn through being connected with them.

Intelligent, intriguing, and endlessly revealing about oneself.

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Reading Progress

01/01/2012 page 88

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