Frank Calberg's Reviews > Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success

Give and Take by Adam M. Grant
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it was amazing

Takeways from reading the book:

What characterizes takers:
- Page 4: Takers like to get more than they give. They are focused on themselves more than on others. Takers put their own interests ahead of others' needs. They believe that the world is a competitive place, a world of winners and losers. They feel that to succeed and win, they need to be better than others. Takers think that if they don't look out for themselves first, no one will. To prove their competence, takers promote themselves and make sure that they get plenty of credit for their efforts. When takers help other people, it is because they think the benefits to them will outweigh the personal costs they have as they help.
- Page 21: Among the values takers favor are power, dominance, control, and winning.
- Page 116: When takers are / feel criticized, they are less willing to accept improvement suggestions / improvement recommendations. Takers protect their pride by refusing to believe they made poor decisions. In the process, they discount people who give them negative feedback.
- Page 130: To establish dominance, takers specialize in powerful communication: They speak forcefully, raise their voices to assert their authority, express certainty to project confidence, promote their accomplishments, and sell with conviction and pride. Takers display strength by spreading their arms in dominant poses, raising their eyebrows in challenge, commanding as much physical space as possible, conveying anger and issuing threats when necessary.

What characterizes givers:
- Page 4: Givers prefer to give more than they get. They are focused on others more than on themselves. Givers pay attention to what other people need from them. They help without expecting anything in return. Givers strive to be generous, for example by sharing their time, energy, knowledge, skills, ideas, and connections with other people who can benefit from them. Givers act in the interests of others, for example by helping others, sharing credit, and/or making connections for others. In relationships as well as among friends and families, giving is relatively common.
- Page 7: Givers are found among the most productive people / the best performers as well as among the least productive people / the worst performers. Takers are found in the middle.
- Page 14: Former President of the USA, Abraham Lincoln, was a giver. Lincoln consistently acted for the greater good. For example, he worked to abolish slavery. Also, he refused to defend clients who appeared to be guilty. When he became President in 1860, Abraham Lincoln invited 3 candidates, whom he defeated in the Republican nomination, to become secretary of state, secretary of the treasury, and attorney general. "We need the strongest men of the party in the Cabinet. I have no right to deprive the country of their services", Lincoln told a reporter. Through his success of dealing with the strong egos of the men in his cabinet, Abraham Lincoln lived values such as kindness, sensitivity, compassion, honesty, and empathy. Several years before Lincoln became President, one of his rivals, Edwin Stanton, had rejected him as a co-counsel in a trial, calling him a "gawky, long-armed ape." Yet, after working with Lincoln, Stanton described him as "the most perfect ruler of men the world has ever seen."
- Page 21: Among the values that givers favor are helpfulness, social justice, and compassion.
- Page 104: In roles as leaders and mentors, givers resist the temptation to search for talent first. By recognizing that anyone can be a bloomer, givers focus their attention on motivation, on finding out what a person is interested in, want to learn more about and want to improve about himself / herself. Research by Benjamin Bloom shows that the top ranked tennis players tended to have a first coach who took a special interest in the tennis player, usually because he perceived the player as being motivated and willing to work hard - rather than because of any special physical abilities.
- Page 116: When givers receive negative feedback, they accept a blow to their pride and reputations in the short term in order to make better choices in the long term.
- Page 151: Appearing vulnerable does not bother givers. They worry far less than takers about protecting their egos and projecting certainty. When givers ask for advice, it is because they are genuinely interested in learning from others.
- Page 248: The more people do things voluntarily, the more they begin to view voluntary service as being a part of their identity.

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Reading Progress

Finished Reading
March 11, 2016 – Shelved

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