Kaora's Reviews > Lord of Chaos

Lord of Chaos by Robert Jordan
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Guide: How to Female in Wheel of Time:

-Learn something new. Assume you then know everything and make sure everyone who also knows how to do it is aware that you know more. Establish dominance by making something up and insisting on it.


-When first seeing another female be sure to judge her neckline first, followed by face, clothing and finally where she comes from.
-If a woman flirts with your man, get angry at him for being present while that occurred.


-If your man attempts to keep you safe or gives you advice, go galavanting head first into trouble regardless.
-When the man comes to rescue him, chew him out for thinking you needed rescuing in the first place and/or not being there to save you in the first place.


-Find fault with anything a man says. They are wool headed and clearly can't form a coherent thought, so ensure they know it. If you cannot speak to him at that time sniff loudly so he is still aware of how idiotic he is.
-Use violence often to show that violence will not be tolerated.


-When in close quarters with a friend for long periods of time make snide comments to let her know how much you care.
-Berate the man you like until he realizes he is in love with you.
-Worry more about what your companions are wearing than about the dark lord escaping.
-If you are with another woman let your disdain be obvious if there are no men present. If men are present, be sure to take her side and team up against the men.



Seriously though, while I can't stand the women in this series, I still keep picking these up. I was a little disappointed in this one in that in 1000 pages very little happened that wasn't the above, and it ended on a cliffhanger.

Aggravating.
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Reading Progress

February 28, 2016 – Shelved
February 28, 2016 – Shelved as: to-read
June 16, 2016 – Started Reading
June 17, 2016 –
6.0% ""She had insisted on the high neck despite the weather; she had definite ideas about low necklines." If the women worried less about neckline and clothes and boys and more about actual issues this would be a pretty short series." (Mass Market Paperback Edition)
June 17, 2016 –
8.0% "Finally done the "prologue"! Whew..." (Mass Market Paperback Edition)
June 25, 2016 –
41.0% "Rand tells Sammael he will pay for every kill he has caused as he kills his messenger and then hangs another man for murder. Sigh."
June 26, 2016 –
51.0% "Those soldiers were women, and to Rand al’Thor, that makes a difference."
June 26, 2016 –
58.0%
June 27, 2016 –
72.0% "740 pages of chatter.. 0 action."
June 28, 2016 –
81.0%
June 29, 2016 –
82.0% "I'm supposed to believe these women make a huge deal if another woman's dress is too low, but if your friend sleeps with your crush you laugh. \n \n "It's okay... We're sisters...""
June 29, 2016 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-23 of 23 (23 new)

dateDown arrow    newest »

Choko Hahaha!!! I looooooove your review!!! Although I agree with most of your observations, I still love this series to no end!!!! But you sure made me laugh! Thank you, K!!!


Kaora I'm enjoying the series... but sometimes I just need to face palm.


Choko Hahaha!!! You are right!!! I am sooo looking forward to all the other reviews on this series:-)


message 4: by Erika (new)

Erika I could never read this series and anytime I see someone's review, it reinforces my thoughts on it lol. Great review though!


message 5: by Noura (new)

Noura Great review! Great that you highlighted the heroine's character - sounds like one of those heroines that'll grate on my nerves.


message 6: by Jenica (new)

Jenica Pffffff! Almost exactly why I gave up on this series in exasperation. I applaud you brave souls who continue on!


Conor Killed it with these points. Also have to commend you for your use of gifs: Cersei should have slapped Joffrey on a daily basis and that gif of Will's ma made me look up the Fresh Prince of Bel Air song.


Kaora Haha :) Glad you liked it!

Thanks everyone!


Stefan Hoard This is perfect


Tawni So good! They make me INSANE.


message 11: by Keri (new) - rated it 3 stars

Keri Sparks I completely agree with what you said about the women. I consider them the most aggravating part of this entire series and none of them get better. The only one I don't mind is Elayne and sometimes Nynaeve (but not in book 5). I did start really liking Moraine but then she had to go and die. :(


Megan Can't breathe laughing so hard


message 13: by mark (new) - rated it 4 stars

mark fluter - don't ask a man for his help but bully/blackmail him into a corner so that he feels he has no choice but to do what you demand.


Javier Cárdenas Very much like my own opinion. Nice.


Michael Estrada You nailed it. Nyneve is the worst character I've ever read.


McKenna Ugh yes! Great review I laughed so hard. I actually love some parts of the characters, or the characters at certain points in the book, but other times I'm super frustrated. They just repeat themselves over and over again. However I still love the series and can't wait to finish it (except then I'll be sad as I am when I finish any good series). I think the only characters that don't truly frustrate me, though they're not perfect, are Perrin, Moiraine, Bashere, Gareth Bryne... and most of the Aiel that aren't Aviendha. Though the Maidens can be frustrating at points...


Kelley Stanfield Hilarious. I would add "when in doubt, smooth your skirts." So much sniffing and skirt smoothing! Still love them though.


message 18: by Filip (new)

Filip Čech Told in one sentence: "
Don't do anything I want and Don't even try to do something I don't want."
I understand why there are sentences which compare women with sun...
PS: Dunno why, but I simply can't stand Nynaeve... :/


Chris Taesali I couldn’t agree more with the portrayal of women. Makes me sad for the author if he was writing from experience.


message 20: by Chris (new)

Chris This is the perfect review of these books. So spot on. Thank you.


message 21: by Devin (new) - added it

Devin omg that is so hilarious I just read this out loud to my fiance who is buddy reading this series with me and we were laughing at the accuracy.


Kaora Glad you enjoyed it!


message 23: by Shaina (new)

Shaina Oh crap. Why do they make the women like that 🤢. Still going to try reading them.


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