✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)'s Reviews > Magic Binds

Magic Binds by Ilona Andrews
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The Grand IAA™ KD Buddy Rerererereread Extravaganza (GIAAKDBRE™), aka the yellow brick road to Magic Triumphs

Presenting Episode 9, or How Kate Daniels Learned That Some of Chernobog's Flunkies Have Innate Wedding Planning Abilities.

Previous rating: 20 million stars.
New rating: 30 million stars. And a half.

Well well well, would you look at that! It turns out I never wrote an actual review for this book! Probably because I hated it—you’d have to have Seriously Despicable Book Taste (SDBT™) to like this one—and didn’t want to waste my precious time rambling about it. Yeah, that’s probably why. I mean, why would I want to spend my nefarious energy telling you about all the ridiculously boring, uninteresting stuff that happens in this instalment? Or its many absolutely non-harem worthy nope nope nope not them definitely not characters? Total waste of my invaluable time indeed.



Anyway, it sure looks like I’m not going to write a captivating review for this book this time around either. I might start thinking about it after my twentieth reread, though. Perhaps. Maybe. Possibly. Some people would take that to mean I’m lazy as fish, but as much as I respect their wrong opinion, I think they happen to be not entirely right in their erroneous way of thinking. This has obviously naught to do with some supposed laziness on my part, and everything to do with the Andrews writing books that are so bloody shrimping amazing that they leave one feeling kinda sorta like this:



Which entails one’s two little grey cells doing the Poof Gone Obliterated (PGO™), thus preventing one (much to one’s chagrin, I must say) from writing a fascinating-as-ever review. QED and stuff.

All you need to know about this book/series/anything IA has ever/will ever write (cereal box blurb included) is: if you haven’t heard of it/read it/rated it 10+ stars, you deserve to have the murderous crustaceans slightly unleashed on you.

Oh, and by the way: I want a Barabas/Christopher novella. NOW. Red wings are super hot. Kate is the mostest awesomest crazy cat lady ever. I’m with my boyfriend Roman the Riveting Russian Rake™ about Greek gods and their wings. Phone calls from Daddy Dearest are the best. Derek and Ascanio should hook up. I want to move to Mesopotamia and be a nefarious princess of Shinar. The Dark Side of the Force is dark and there are no cookies to be had. Tutus. Nuff said. I’m in 💕lurve💕 with the person (aka Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler) who believes that Roland thinks with his dick. Impersonating peacocks is a way of life. Doves are overrated. Curran should watch what he eats. Wedding planning, KD style. Also: Ghastek and Teddy Jo and Baby B and Swing Travel, Inc and family, can’t live with them, can’t kill them and oh bloody shrimping hell of the stinking fish, HOW COULD YOU??!! Also, also: epic is as epic does. Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

And now what’s left for me to do, you ask? Apart from rerererereading the book, you mean? Why dance, obviously.



In case you were wondering, this is my Post-IA-Reading Routine (PIARR™). Pretty hot, huh?

A very private message to Jim: can you die now? Pretty please and stuff? Thank thee kindly.



Actual rating: 20 million stars. More or less. Give or give a few millions.

There are no words. Okay, so there might be a few words, but they're refusing to come out right now. So I'll just leave you with these few choice gifs for the moment:







I shall return. Maybe.

PS : Roman the Riveting Russian Rake is mine. Barabas is mine. Christopher is mine. Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler (not her real name) is mine. And yes, Roland (aka Daddy Dearest) is also mine. So don't be getting any silly ideas into your silly little barnacle heads.

Book 1: Magic Bites ★★★★★
Book 2: Magic Burns ★★★★★
Book 3: Magic Strikes ★★★★★
Book 4: Magic Bleeds ★★★★★
Book 5: Magic Slays ★★★★★
Book 6: Magic Rises ★★★★★
Book 7: Magic Breaks ★★★★★
Book 8: Magic Shifts ★★★★★
Book 10: Magic Triumphs ★★★★



WARNING: this review is going to get bumped repeatedly until this book is released. If you and your self-righteousness have a problem with that, please feel free to unfriend and block me. I don't give a damn

» April 22, 2016: Ilona just posted chapter 1 on the blog. THE WHOLE FREAKING CHAPTER , people!!

*dies*
*regains consciousness long enough to read chapter*
*dies again*



» April 11, 2016: Deleted Scene Monday!

Deleted because "not exciting enough?!" My dear Ilona, I'll have you know that tentacles are always exciting. ALWAYS. Hall Hail the Glorious Tentacles!

» April 8, 2016: Tiny Bribe Friday!

Ilona says: Who’s got her back? Curran’s got her back.
I say: he's got hot tubs, too.



» March 11, 2016: It's snippety Friday again!!! Awesome vamp gore is awesome. Awesome blood sword is awesome. Freaking Awesome Kate is Freaking Awesome. And Roman the Riveting Russian Rake is baaaaaccckkkkkk!!!!!



» March 11, 2016. Ilona's latest blog post:

Hi guys. We are working very hard to finish Magic Binds. The deadline is in 2 days.



» March 4, 2016. Ilona's latest blog post:

Working hard on Kate. Killing people and breaking old friendships. Happy Friday!

Oh bloody hell, how are we supposed to have a happy Friday after that?! Evil Andrews are evil.

» March 3, 2016: it's snippety snippet day!!! Bon appétit!!



» Feb. 5, 2016: Very important, possibly life-altering, Cute Peasant Top (CPT™) update! Here is what Ilona had to say about it:

For all the people asking about the peasant blouse: the wedding is set for a Russian pagan holiday and this was the reference image we sent them. I asked for flower crown and a wedding dress. The wedding dress was axed because it took the whole thing into a completely different genre, so the poor art department tried their best to compromise. :) They came up with a peasant blouse with Ukranian embroidery. We just asked for something difficult to find.



I still don't like it, but I guess it is all in the name of the greater good and all that crap.

» Feb. 4, 2016: BLOODY HELL, WE HAVE A COVER!!!

I'm very sorry, but I do not approve of that silly peasant top. Way too cute for Kate. Kate doesn't do cute. Kate does bloody and ass-kicking and baddass. And look at poor Curran, all depressed and stuff. Looks like someone's been neglecting His Furriness lately. Too busy, Kate? No worries, I can take care of that particular burden for you.



» Feb. 2, 2016: uh-oh snipetty snippet.



» Jan. 23, 2016: the Andrews are on a Snippety Snipet roll!!! Ladies and gentleman, time to go and get your fix of the day: I want my KD fix!!!!



» Jan. 21, 2016: it's up for pre-order!!! Planned release date: September 27, 2016.

» Jan. 20, 2016: Snippety snippet day!!!! It's short, but it's a KD fix, so I don't care. Not sure I want to know why the title for this post is "On Things That Won’t End Well," though.



» Jan. 3, 2016: HAPPY FREAKING NEW SNIPPET FROM HEAVEN!!!! Watch out, people, for Roland the Riveting Russian Rake is baaaaaaccccckkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!

Can you tell I'm excited?



» Dec. 19, 2015: snippet available here!!!!!!

*dies*



» September 2015: We have a title!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*starts hyperventilating*



» August 2015: summer wedding (hot tubs not optional), Russian pagan festival, kidnapping, slow murder, Roland, flower crowns, evil deities of Slavic pantheon. Not necessarily in that order. This book deserves 20 stars already.

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Reading Progress

September 10, 2015 – Shelved
September 10, 2015 – Shelved as: wishlist
September 10, 2015 – Shelved as: favourite-series
September 10, 2015 – Shelved as: ilona-gordon-i-revere-you-as-gods
September 10, 2015 – Shelved as: kate-daniels
September 10, 2015 – Shelved as: cool-kick-ass-chicks-harem
September 10, 2015 – Shelved as: rawrrr
September 10, 2015 – Shelved as: urban-fantasy
January 31, 2016 – Shelved as: the-awesome-bunch
March 7, 2016 – Shelved as: i-want-it-yesterday
September 19, 2016 – Started Reading
September 19, 2016 – Started Reading (Mass Market Paperback Edition)
September 19, 2016 –
1.0% "All Hail the Queen.\n\n"
September 20, 2016 –
12.0% "Two chapters of Kate Daniels and all is right in the world again.\n\n"
September 21, 2016 –
34.0% "Work keeps getting in the way of my Lifesaving Kate Daniels Reading Time (LKDRT™.) This cannot be! This will not do! Picking up my post-Shift phone and calling 1-800-Daddy-Dearest (the Roland Emergency Hotline) now! I'm pretty sure he'll find a non-violent solution to this unacceptable situation. \n\n"
September 24, 2016 – Shelved as: absolute-favourites
September 24, 2016 – Shelved as: poof-gone-harem
September 24, 2016 – Shelved as: 2016
September 24, 2016 – Shelved as: welcome-to-the-zoo
September 24, 2016 – Shelved as: blood-and-gore-and-violence-oh-my
September 24, 2016 – Shelved as: it-s-war
September 24, 2016 – Shelved as: vamps-are-wimps
September 24, 2016 – Shelved as: br-2016
September 24, 2016 – Finished Reading
September 24, 2016 – Finished Reading (Mass Market Paperback Edition)
February 1, 2017 – Shelved (Mass Market Paperback Edition)
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: home... (Mass Market Paperback Edition)
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: ilon... (Mass Market Paperback Edition)
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: favo... (Mass Market Paperback Edition)
February 1, 2017 – Shelved as: to-read (Mass Market Paperback Edition)
November 25, 2017 – Shelved as: let-s-dance-the-night-away
November 25, 2017 – Shelved as: let-... (Mass Market Paperback Edition)
March 26, 2018 – Shelved as: diversity-is-slightly-scrumptious
June 12, 2018 – Started Reading
June 13, 2018 – Finished Reading
June 15, 2018 – Shelved as: rr-2018
June 15, 2018 – Shelved as: br-2018
November 21, 2018 – Shelved as: 2018

Comments Showing 1-50 of 80 (80 new)


Shera (Book Whispers) Ha-ha. Love your soul ownership.


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) You should look into it, selling your soul to the Andrews has great perks!;)


Shera (Book Whispers) ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "You should look into it, selling your soul to the Andrews has great perks!;)"

I'm afraid I did it years ago!


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Shera (Book Whispers) wrote: "✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "You should look into it, selling your soul to the Andrews has great perks!;)"

I'm afraid I did it years ago!"


Then we are both doomed in the most delightful way, haha.


Shera (Book Whispers) ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "Shera (Book Whispers) wrote: "✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "You should look into it, selling your soul to the Andrews has great perks!;)"

I'm afraid I did..."


Too true.

Too many authors own my soul.


Layla ✷ Praise the sun ✷ More KD wooooooot *faints*


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) LaylaNoir wrote: "More KD wooooooot *faints*"

Hahaha, I know the feeling! I think I'd faint even if the snippet was only 10 words long;)


Layla ✷ Praise the sun ✷ Now how are we going to wait until September!!!


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) LaylaNoir wrote: "Now how are we going to wait until September!!!"

Yep. And did you see how expensive the book is? $19 when Magic Shifts was $10!! I hope the price goes down before the book is released. It's IA so I'll buy it no matter the price, but still...


Layla ✷ Praise the sun ✷ 19.13 Euros for the Kindle Edition. Wow.
As you say, since it's IA AND KD on top of it I'll get it no matter what because IA, because KD, but the price is way over the top atm.


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Yeah, it's weird. Their books aren't usually that expensive.


Shera (Book Whispers) ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "LaylaNoir wrote: "Now how are we going to wait until September!!!"

Yep. And did you see how expensive the book is? $19 when Magic Shifts was $10!! I hope the price goes down before the book is rel..."


Maybe preordering on Walmart?


message 13: by Alba (new) - rated it 5 stars

Alba Sánchez OMG! Can't wait


RIN ಠ_ಠ I wished they gave her a long sleeved top but oh well. It's IA and cover means a bit closer to release. \o/


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Any top but this one would have worked, haha. Only 7 months to go, piece of cake! O_O


message 17: by Brigid (new)

Brigid Did not read review due to spoilers for previous books.

I really need to catch up on this series. I am so behind I might as well be a turtle instead of human.


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Well there's no review so far since the book hasn't been released but yeah, things might be spoilerish depending on how far you made it in the series. What was the last book you read?


message 19: by Brigid (new)

Brigid Ummmm.....the 7th I think?


message 20: by Brigid (new)

Brigid No the 6th.


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) You aren't so far behind then, only two books left to catch up;)


message 22: by Lisazj1 (last edited Mar 03, 2016 06:12PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Lisazj1 OMG, that was hilarious! I'll be looking for that scene in the book, can't wait! :)


message 23: by Brightness (new)

Brightness You are too funny. I have got to get into this series already. :p


message 24: by Lisazj1 (last edited Mar 03, 2016 12:24PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Lisazj1 Brightness wrote: "You are too funny. I have got to get into this series already. :p"

If you haven't yet, then yaaaassssss! It's completely awesome. And badass. And funny. And heart-clenchy. And.......

Ok, I'll just stick with yaaaaassssss. :D


message 25: by Brightness (new)

Brightness Lisazj1 wrote: "Brightness wrote: "If you haven't yet, then yaaaassssss! It's completely awesome. And badass. And funny. And heart-clenchy. And.......

Ok, I'll just stick with yaaaaassssss. :D."


LOL! :)


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Lisazj1 wrote: "OMG, that was hilarious! I'll be looking for that scene in the book, can't wait! :)"

I can't wait to read Kate and Curran's discussion...when the kids are finally out of the way, haha!


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Brightness wrote: "You are too funny. I have got to get into this series already. :p"

Thanks, Brightness, I try:D

You haven't read this series. What a shameful admission. I hope you are aware that it's a miracle I haven't unfriended you yet.


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Lisazj1 wrote: "Brightness wrote: "You are too funny. I have got to get into this series already. :p"

If you haven't yet, then yaaaassssss! It's completely awesome. And badass. And funny. And heart-clenchy. And....."


What she said^^


Lisazj1 ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "Lisazj1 wrote: "OMG, that was hilarious! I'll be looking for that scene in the book, can't wait! :)"

I can't wait to read Kate and Curran's discussion...when the kids are finally out of the way, haha!"


Riiiight? I just know I'm going to love what "divine power" does for him. RAWR!


message 30: by Brightness (new)

Brightness ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "You haven't read this series. What a shameful admission. I hope you are aware that it's a miracle I haven't unfriended you yet. "

I am aware! That's why I want to read this - just to keep your friendship!!

Lol. It does look like an awesome series and I've been wanting to read it for a while. I promise I will! Don't unfriend me yet. ;)


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Lisazj1 wrote: "✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "Lisazj1 wrote: "OMG, that was hilarious! I'll be looking for that scene in the book, can't wait! :)"

I can't wait to read Ka..."


Divine powers in a hot tub...


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Brightness wrote: "✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "You haven't read this series. What a shameful admission. I hope you are aware that it's a miracle I haven't unfriended you ye..."

Oh don't worry, I won't unfriend you just yet. You have two days to read the whole series and then report back.


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Stephanie wrote: "Love your warning message and great pics!! :D"

Thanks, Stephanie!:D


Nafeeza "Evil Andrews are evil."- they sure are, I don't like this talk of "breaking old friendships" either. Can't wait for this book!


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) They are going to be the death of me one day, haha.


Cam *tactile seeker* These snippets are killing me. Thank God you made me aware of the fact they were being posted, though! Thanks! <3


Nafeeza I love Roman!


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Cam *is the worst* wrote: "These snippets are killing me. Thank God you made me aware of the fact they were being posted, though! Thanks! <3"

The snippets are TORTURE. I love it, haha.

You're welcome, Cam:D


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Nafeeza wrote: "I love Roman!"

Roman...Sigh...I am so in love with him and his Eeyore pyjamas...


message 40: by Terence (last edited Apr 24, 2016 04:40PM) (new)

Terence WARNING: this review is going to get bumped repeatedly until this book is released. If you and your self-righteousness have a problem with that, please feel free to unfriend and block me. I don't give a damn ☢

This makes me smile.


Nafeeza THE WHOLE CHAPTER <----#fangirling!!!


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Terence wrote: "WARNING: this review is going to get bumped repeatedly until this book is released. If you and your self-righteousness have a problem with that, please feel free to unfriend and block me. I don't g..."

Sometimes a friendly small warning goes a long way;)


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Nafeeza wrote: "THE WHOLE CHAPTER <----#fangirling!!!"

IKR? Still haven't decided if it was a good or bad thing that Ilona posted it. It's brilliant and awesome and fantastic but ARGGGGHHHH!!!! I want more!!!


JAIME KD is babeing on that cover.


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Oh please don't say that, Jaime. You're scaring me. No freaking baby is allowed until the series is finished. Babies are nasty. They always ruin series.


JAIME NO! I mean she looks hot like fiyah!


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) Phew. Thank GOD. You scared me there for a minute.

PS: yeah, she looks pretty hot.


Trish I have only read 2 books, am reading the 3rd now and plan on reading all until this one is published in September BUT (view spoiler). T_T


✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) (view spoiler)


Trish ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) wrote: "[spoilers removed]"

(view spoiler)
My beaten little heart couldn't take anything else so THANK YOU for giving me hope!


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