Annette's Reviews > Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way

Anger by Gary Chapman
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's review
Jan 04, 2011

liked it
bookshelves: self-help, christian-inspirational
Recommended to Annette by: Jenny

After listening to the audio book I decided that I need to check out the book so that I can reread a few passages before I write a review. I'll get back to you all soon!

Update: This book is in high demand and it took awhile for it to finally became available at the library again.
First, I'd like to share what I liked about the book:
a) What he says about righteous anger, "human anger is designed by God to motivate us to take constructive action in the face of wrongdoing or when facing injustice." He gives specific examples of people who were motivated by righteous anger; Candy Lightner, founder of MADD, William Wilberforce who persuaded the British government to pass a bill to end the slave trade back in 1807, and Harriet Beecher Stowe, author of Uncle Tom's Cabin.
b) How he explains the difference between definitive anger and distorted anger. Definitive anger is basically righteous anger or "anger born of wrongdoing" and distorted anger is the opposite.
c) How he explains that both explosive anger and implosive anger are harmful and can have devastating long term effects.
d) The chapter on anger in marriage, however I think it was way too short. There is definitely more ground to cover on that subject.
e) The chapter on teaching children how to handle their anger, but again - too short.
f) I agree with this quote: ..."whether I have sinned against someone else or someone has sinned against me, it is my responsibility to take the initiative to seek reconciliation."
g) the quick takes at the end of each chapter.
h) the personal stories he shares from his clients.
i) the scriptural references
j) the discussion guide in the back of the book.

Now, these are the things that I don't like:
a) I don't agree with his views on forgiveness, he says that we cannot force forgiveness on someone who has wronged us unless they are willing to repent. We should stand ready and willing, patiently waiting until that person is ready to repent and seek forgiveness. I have always believed that, God will forgive whom he will forgive, but we are to forgive all men, whether they choose to repent or not.
b) I disagree with Chapter 11 "When you are angry at God". He says that it is not sinful to be angry with God it is human. He also says that Job was angry with God. I don't agree with either of these things in fact I think it would be better to just remove the entire chapter.
c) In the chapter "Confronting an Angry Person", he says Listen, listen, listen. I think that this may be good advise in most cases however, if you are in an abusive relationship where your spouse is consistently angry on a daily basis, I don't think it's good to stay and listen to that person day after day.
d) I think that this book is helpful for people who have mild anger issues, but if you have extreme anger problems you're going to need more than what this book has to offer.

So, do I recommend this book? Yes, there is definitely more positive than negative in it and I did learn/gain from reading it. I may even go back and review my favorite chapters on occasion.

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