Joe's Reviews > Shiver

Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater
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's review
Dec 13, 2010

did not like it
bookshelves: young-adult, borrowed-library, fantasy
Read from December 13 to 27, 2010

Here's how I imagine Stiefvater's meeting with the publishing house.

Stiefvater: I want to write a book about a girl who falls in love with a vampire!
Publisher: Sorry, Maggie. That's been done before. Read Twilight. It's terrible!
Stiefvater: Oh. I want to write a book about a girl who falls in love with a zombie!
Publisher: Sorry, Maggie. That's been done before. Read Generation Dead. It's terrible!
Stiefvater: Oh. I want to write a book about a girl who falls in love with a werewolf!
Publisher: Bingo!

Months later...
Stiefvater: I wrote a book about a girl who falls in love with a werewolf!
Publisher: (reads a couple pages) Maggie, this is terrible! We'll take it!

In what's becoming a distressing theme in young adult literature aimed at females, Stiefvater's Shiver follows a teenage girl who falls in love with a supernatural creature, and risks life and limb to be with him - oftentimes forgetting herself along the way. Love, after all, is something every girl needs.

Truth is, though, I think Maggie Stiefvater might be a worse writer than Stephenie Meyer. Sure, Shiver lacks anything as truly awful as a vampire baseball game, but it does have a brooding protagonist (werewolf Sam) who writes unfathomably insipid lyrics to songs in his head. Check out this masterful sequence:

She draws patterns on my face / These lines make shapes that can't replace / the version of me that I hold inside/ when lying with you, lying with you, lying with you. "I like your hair," she said. (p. 157)


Here's the deal, everyone. I'm going to write my own teenage supernatural love story. It will be sexy! And scary! And totally realistic! And I'm going to write it RIGHT NOW.

'CABRA
by Joe
Jessa woke up with a start. The pale sunlight filtered through the linen curtains, casting a soft glow on the chupacabra's skin, highlighting the sick, putty-colored spine. How had it gotten into her room? No matter. The glances that had passed between them in the desert earlier that day hadn't been in vain. Jessa swooned, casting a sultry look at the chupacabra. Her chupacabra. She reached out to it, and it ripped her fucking arm off.
THE END
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Reading Progress

01/29/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 51-100 of 159) (159 new)


Sarah I actually LOVE this series. I have met the author twice. But I LOVE this review. SOO funny. And I'm oddly not offended that much. But Stiefvater IS a better writer than Meyer. Twilight is horrid. Do you have something against YA supernatural? Just wondering. And I like your story!


Rjgharis Awesome.


message 53: by [deleted user] (new)

Bravo! even though i did kind of like shiver...


message 54: by Tia N. (bookindulgence) (last edited Dec 31, 2011 01:17PM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Tia N. (bookindulgence) I can't stop laughing. This is a brilliant review. I'm certain that if you shop 'CABRA around you'll get a book-to-movie deal.


Camille lol, I want to read the sequel


message 56: by Jonathan (new)

Jonathan 'Cabra is officially in my Best Books Ever Freakin' Written list.Also thank you for saving my very valuable brain cells from having to read this.


message 57: by Renee (new) - added it

Renee B. Fantastic review! It actually makes me want to read the book (I'm crazy like that).

Also, your 'Cabra story is bloody brilliant! 4.5 stars! :D


Angela I read this last year (or year before, can't remember) and I hated it with a passion.
I've just read this review and totally forgot there were were really shitty emo lyrics in the book; I'm in the process of trying to delete EVERYTHING about this book from my memory.

Oh, and 'Cabra story was bloody funny, thanks!


message 59: by Laura (new)

Laura I've never actually read this book, but your lovely YA romance 'story' nearly made me die laughing. xDD Congratulations good sir, it is sure to become an instant hit.


Christina Wilder I adore 'Cabra.

I needs a sequel! Love triangle with Swamp Thing, maybe?


message 61: by Leilania (new) - added it

Leilania Frias ROTFL this one is the best review ive read ...


Rebecca Jeyne Lannister CABRA is a masterpiece :D


Tatiana hahahahaha I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time. Tears and all. Thanks Joe!


Ivie ✩Born to Magic-Forced to Muggle✩ read it once, laughed, read it the second time.....laughed harder


Kevin Jesus Christ, I've imagined the scenario and absokutly aggred with it :D


message 66: by Sophie (new)

Sophie Can 'Cabra please be a real book?


message 67: by Amanda (new) - added it

Amanda Haha that was the best book. It kept boredom off shiver


message 68: by Igor (new)

Igor Ljubuncic You IS funny.


message 69: by Zareen (new)

Zareen Fernandez hilarious! definitely avoiding. would love to read more of yours though lol


message 70: by Heather (new) - added it

Heather Oh my god, I seriously laughed out loud at your chubacabra story!


Katelynn OH my LANTA one of the best reviews I have ever read on here! Cabra was more entertaining than Shiver can ever hope to be.


message 72: by C.T. (new)

C.T. Tunnell Great review! And the shot story at the end was a great touch lol.


message 73: by Meredith (new)

Meredith Hebert I haven't read this book, was just thinking about it, but this review is HILARIOUSSSS :) Ha. Ohmahgah.


message 74: by Rosver (new)

Rosver Hahaha. So funny. Never read the book but do love your review.


message 75: by Sama (new) - rated it 2 stars

Sama Aziz It was awful


message 76: by Megan (new) - rated it 1 star

Megan I totally agree.... Uggg I couldn't even finish it


message 77: by Keyla (new) - added it

Keyla Well that review made my day. I might read this book just to see how terrible it really is. Ah, I was laughing so hard. Sometimes a good laugh is all the medicine you need after a hard day, thanks.


message 78: by [deleted user] (new)

10/10 would read 'Capbra


message 79: by Nora (new) - rated it 2 stars

Nora I kept snorting(that's what happens when I try to hold in my laughter) through this entire review . . . Someone probably could've mistaken me for a very excited pig.


message 80: by Wren (new)

Wren That was brilliant. Read it to my YA loving teen, and husband, and we all agree your story is the best ever.


Dylan It wasn't as horrible as I thought that it was going to be but still pretty horrible.I can still say I would rather read Shiver then Twilight


message 82: by Renee (new) - rated it 1 star

Renee This review is great :')


message 83: by Renee (new) - rated it 1 star

Renee This review is great :')


message 84: by Jena (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jena Clark Would you like to write a teen book and tell my a topic that doesn't involve a girl falling in love risking and "losing herself" yeah...didnt think so you should be ashamed of yourself try simply saying you didnt like it not being a total JERK


message 85: by Britney (new)

Britney Your take on a supernatural love story made me laugh so hard, I almost peed my pants.


Celest That little bit with the chupacabra was awesome XD


message 87: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Thank you for that...I really needed one of those surprising guffawing laughs that make you pee your pants a little.


message 88: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Thank you for that...I really needed one of those surprising guffawing laughs that make you pee your pants a little.


message 89: by Gretchen (new)

Gretchen Hilarious. I was like, "'Cabra? Wait what?" Then I read the rest of your story... "...HER Chupacabra." Tears are still streaming down my face. Soo so funny.


message 90: by Selin (new)

Selin Apaydin Oh my god, I haven't even read this book, but I'm kinda tempted to after your review! This made me laugh so hard XD


Jenney Beautiful! So cliche but I have to say this- Still a better love story than Twilight/Shiver


message 92: by [deleted user] (new)

Will there be a sequel to your saga?


message 93: by Aska (new)

Aska FAntastic! A true literary nasterpiec that... saga..


Loveliest Evaris The last sentence made me choke and I wasn't even drinking anything!


Cami (The annoying BookWorm) We need a trilogy of Cabra! Now it has to visit the brooding hot dude and rip something off of him.


message 96: by Avy (new) - rated it 1 star

Avy I like your review and I agree that this is so terrible and ho did she ever ever ever get published?!


message 99: by Tori (last edited Feb 23, 2015 11:21AM) (new) - added it

Tori I haven't read the story yet and with ur review... i don't know, i kind of still want to read the book myself.(like the review though! Made me laugh!!! :-)


message 100: by Amber (new) - rated it 5 stars

Amber Ashby I really enjoyed Shiver, but your short story here is hilarious!


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